WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that one intimate partner or spouse exerts over another as a means of control. Domestic violence may include physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidtion, isolation, and emotional, sexual or economic abuse.

SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
IF YOU SEE ANY OF THESE SIGNS IN YOUR MATE CALL FOR HELP!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOT LINE
1-800-787-3224
ONE OUT OF FOUR WOMEN AND TEENS ARE IN A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RELATIONSHIP

IN WV EVERY 15 DAYS THERE IS A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDE.

Common Myths About Relationships

These misunderstandings about young men, young women and dating can set the stage for unhealthy relationships:

Dating Violence
Dating violence is the physical, emotional and/or verbal abuse of one partner by the other partner in a current or former dating relationship. Abusive behavior is any act carried out by one partner aimed at hurting or controlling the other. Dating violence happens in male/female relationships as well as in lesbian and gay relationships.

~ It is common for abusers to say their dates are to blame. In turn, the victims think people will hold them responsible for the trouble. In fact, victims of abuse are never to blame! By breaking the silence about the abuse,victims are likely to find the help they need.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOT LINE
1-800-787-3224

WE ARE NOT ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT WE DO
BUT ALSO FOR THAT WHAT WE DON'T DO!
--Voltaire--

 THIS PAGE IS DEDICATED TO COLENE, DIANE, AMY, WENDY, AND LORA

EXAMPLES
Examples of How a Partner Tries to Gain Power and Control in a Dating Relationship

ISOLATION
forbids you to talk to your friends
accuses you of cheating
decides the social and school activities in which you will participate
controls what clothes you wear
DISCREDITS YOUR PARENTS ADVICE
ENCOURAGES YOU TO TURN AGAINST YOUR PARENTS

EMOTIONAL ABUSE
PUTS YOU DOWN OR MAKES YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF
breaks dates or cancels plan without any reason
embarrasses you in front of family and friends
uses words or tells jokes that humiliate you
uses drugs and alcohol to excuse abusive behavior
CHANGES MOODS ABRUPTLY

SEXUAL ABUSE
pressures you to engage in sexual activity
spreads rumors about your sexual behavior
puts down or makes fun of your sexual behavior

THREATS
threatens to hurt you if you decide to break up
threatens to commit suicide when you talk of breaking up
threatens to hurt others who talk to you
threatens your family and friends

BOSSY
makes all the decisions in the relationship
uses phrases like, "I just showed who’s boss" or "I just made it clear who runs the show" to justify abusive behavior

INTIMIDATION
DESTROY YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS
SPEEDS OR DRIVES RECKLESSLY TO SCARE YOU
USES A LOUD OR INTIMIDATIN TONE OF VOICE
CALLS REPEADLY TO CHECK UP ON YOU TO HARASS YOU

STALKING
Children of Domestic Violence
A Women like You
Abused Men
SAFE
The Bill of Rights of Children
OTHER IMPORTAN LINKS OF WV GRANDPARENTS
Divorce~Custody~Child Support


WARNING SIGNS

- A list of signs common to abusive and battering personalities.

IMPORTANT YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON KNOWING THE THESE SIGNS:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOT LINE
1-800-787-3224

(1)JEALOUSY: ~ of your time with co-workers, friends and family.

(2) CONTROLING BEHAVIOR:~(Controls your comings and goings and your money and insists on "helping you make personal decisions.")

(3) ISOLATION:~(CUTS YOU OFF FROM ALL SUPPORTIVE RESOURCES SUCH AS TELEPHONE PALS, COLLEAGUES AT WORK AND CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS

(4)BLAMES OTHERS FOR HIS/HER PROBLEMS:~(unemployment, family quarrels--everything is "your fault."

(5) HYPERSENSITIVITY:~(Easily upset by annoyances that are a part of daily life, such as being asked to work overtime, criticism of any kind, being asked to help with chores or child care.)

(6) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN:~ (Insensitive to their pain and suffering may tease and/or hurt children and animals.)

(7)"Playful" use of force in sex:~ (May throw you down and hold you during sex. ~ May start having sex with you when you are sleeping or demand sex when you are ill or tired.)

(8) VERBAL ABUSE:~(says cruel and hurtful things, degrades and humiliates you, wakes you up to verbally abuse you or doesn't let you go to sleep.)

(9)DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE PERSONALITY: (Sudden Mood swings and unpredictabe behavior-one minute loving, the next minute angry and punitive.)

(10)PAST HISTORY OF BATTERING:~(Has hit others but has a list of excuses for having been "pushed over the edge.")

(11)THREATS OF VIOLENCE:~(Says, "I'll slap you," "I'll kill you" or "I'll break your neck.")

(12) BREAKING OR STRIKING OBJECTS:~(Breaks your possession, beats on the table with fist, throws objects near or at you or your children.)

(13) USES FORCE DURING AN ARGUMENTS:~(Holds you down or against a wall, pushes, shove, slaps or kicks you. This type of behavior can easily escalate to choking, stabbing or shooting.)

If you can idenify with any of these signs you should call the crisis line and tell someone what is happening.

Identifying the warning signs is the first step in breaking the cycle of violence.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOT LINE
1-800-787-3224

"Trust betrayed"~

Children and Domestic Violence">~

"WV Grandparents" >

If you are in a bad relationship~ Develop a Safety Plan -

What can I do

West Virginia Licensed Domestic Violence Programs

304-255-2559

Women's Resource Center: Fayette, Nicholas,Raleigh Summers:

304-340-3549

Resolve Family Abuse Program:Boone, Clay, Kanawha

304-636-8433

Women's Aid in Crisis:Barbour, Braxton, Randolph, Tucker, Upshur, Webster:

304-367-1100

HOPE, Inc.

Doddridge, Gilmer, Harrison, Lewis, Marion:

304-529-2382

Branches, Inc:Cabell, Lincoln, Mason, Putnam, Wayne:

304-788-6061

Family Crisis Center:Grant, Hampshire, Pendleton, Hardy, Mineral:

304-645-6334

Family Refuge Center:Greenbrier, Monroe, Pocahontas

304-263-8292

Shenendoah Women's Center: Berkeley, Jefferson, Morgan

304-292-5100

Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center:Monongalia, Preston, Taylor, Wetzel:

304-428-2333

Family Crisis Intervention Center:Calhoun, Jackson, Pleasants, Ritchie,

Roane, Tyler, Wirt, Wood

304-436-8117

Stop Abusive Family Environments:Mercer, McDowell, Wyoming

304-232-2748

Family Violence Prevention Program:Brooke, Hancock, Marshall, Ohio

304-235-6121

Tug Valley Recovery Shelter:Logan, Mingo

304-523-3448

CONTACT Huntington Rape Crisis Counseling Cabell, Wayne, Lincoln & Mason

304-645-6334

Family Refuge Center Greenbrier, Monroe, & Pocahontas

304-340-3676

Family Service of Kanawha Valley Kanwha & Putnam

304-367-1100

HOPE, Inc. Doddridge, Gilmer, Harrison, Lewis,Marion

304-292-5100

Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center Monogalia, Preston, Taylor and Wetzel

304-234-8519

Sexual Assault Help Center Ohio, Marshall, Brooke & Hancock

304-263-8292

Shenandoah Women's Center Berkeley, Jefferson & Morgan

1-800-339-1185

Women's Aid in Crisis Barbour, Braxton, Tucker, Randolph, Upshur & Webster

304-255-2559

Women's Resource Center Fayette, Nicholas, Raleigh & Summers

For More Information contact the statewide domestic violence prevention office:

West Virginia Coaliation

Against Domestic Violence PO Box 85 Sutton, WV 26601