You might be a Teacher if....

*You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.

*You find humor in other people's stupidity.

*You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers free".

*You believe chocolate is a food group.

*You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

*You believe "shallow gene pool" should have it's own box in the report card.

*You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today".

*When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at a child you do not know and correct their behavior.

*You have no life between August to June.

*Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.

*When you mention "vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.

*You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

*You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

*You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".

*You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

*You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

*You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in the last ten years.

*You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "never DREAM" of doing your job.

*You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child 

that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

*You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

*You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss.  

I think it would be such fun."

*You smile weakly, and want to choke a person when he or she says,

*"Oh, you must have such FUN every day.  This must be like playtime for you".

*Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.

*Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

This page is dedicated to all those hard working teachers....

                                                                            ~Deanie~

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