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Front Porch

Oklahoman Spoken Here

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Come sit a spell. Grab yourself a coke or cup of coffee

We'll swap a few stories, tell a few jokes.

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Will Rogers

Will Rogers, "Cowboy Philosopher"

On The Politics. . . .

  • "Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously, and the politicians as a joke, when it used to be vice versa."
  • "It’s getting so if a man wants to stand well socially, he can’t afford to be seen with either the Democrats or the Republicans."
  • "Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians and I love to watch both of 'em play either back home in their native state or after they have been captured and sent to the zoo or to Washington."
  • "As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw."
  • "We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good."
  • "There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long; and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can’t stand him quite that long."
  • "The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best."
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    Dictionary Okie Dictionary

  • Bobbed--A bobbed war fance
  • Crick--Small stream
  • Cyow--Animal on a farm
  • Fance--What's round the hawg lot
  • Holt--He grub a holt of the fance
  • Malk--What you git from cyows
  • Rahcheer--I was borned rahcheer in this here town
  • Rainch--A big cyow farm
  • Sprang--Water out'n the groun'
  • War--As in bobbed war fance
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    Okie Rules to Live By

  • Letting the cat out of the bag is a lot easier than puttin' it back in.
  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  • If you are riding ahead of the herd, look back every now and then to make sure its still there.
  • If you get to thinking that you are a person with influence, try ordering someone else's dog around.
  • After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. MORAL: When your full of bull keep your mouth shut.
  • Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
  • There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
  • There are five theories for how to change a man's mind. They don't work, either.
  • Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • There are three kinds of people: the few who learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of us who have to touch the electric fence for ourselves.
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    You Know You're From Oklahoma If. . .

  • There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for the tornado.
  • You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
  • You are on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
  • Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
  • You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
  • You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
  • You know cow pies are not made of beef.
  • Football schedules are checked before wedding dates are set.
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    This Page Last Updated 4/5/2005

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