Modesty
The Long-Lost Virtue
"As
a jewel of gold in a swine's snout,
so
is a fair woman which is without discretion."
~Proverbs
11:22
"Guys should learn to control themselves!"
"Only perverts would have a problem with a bare knee or shoulder!"
"Why should women be punished for men's sins
by having to wear unattractive clothes!?"
But wait...God has instructed women to dress modestly. That is the Creator's command for women. If we are not dressing modestly, we are not obeying, thus, we are sinning. We're all "plank-eyes" if we complain about how perverted guys are when they can't keep their eyes off our half-naked bodies. Sure, that "cute little outfit" is attractive. That's the plan, right? To attract? Attract what? Attention? Roving eyes? Dear sisters, let's take our eyes off of our brothers' sins and begin addressing our own.
These days, the aim of many women in the church seems to be to wear as little as possible, and still be "adorned in modest apparel". After all, the Bible doesn't specifically define what exactly modest apparel is, right? Is it 2" above the knee, or 2" below? Are tank tops okay? What about those jeans that fit "just right"? The general consensus seems to be, "If it looks good, WEAR IT!" As long as it covers your underwear, it's fine. (Unless you're near a body of water, in which case all caution is thrown to the wind and spandex underwear completes the frock.)
A good way of finding out which clothes are covering enough of your body to qualify as "modest apparel" is to ask Godly men. Fathers and husbands should be consulted when you're not sure about whether an outfit is appropriate.
Is there any point in mentioning swimming suits in this article? For who can not know that they are immodest? That which we would not wear in the church, marketplace, restaurant, et cetera, we unashamedly prance around in when near a body of water. Women put on a pair of underwear which has been tagged by the world as a "bathing suit", and then go to present themselves to the world by stretching out pool-side and basting their skin with cooking oil for humans, strutting around the deck/embankment, and playing raucously in the water with other women and men. For shame! If you truly cannot see the error in these actions, pray that the scales be removed from your eyes.
The same woman who arrives at church on Sunday in a modest dress will arrive at the community pool on Monday, remove her clothes, and join in the nude revelry. I humbly remind you of something which you must have forgotten...God sees you at the pool too. He sees you at the lake, the seaside, and in the backyard. God does not only care how you dress for "church". Our God is a 7-days-per-week God. One might argue this particular point by saying that their Monday-Saturday attire does not hypocritically conflict with that which they save for Sunday, because on Sunday they're going to "God's house" and dressing specially for the occasion. One sister in particular pointed out to me that in the Old Testament we see in God's character pattern that He likes "special clothes", therefore we should wear dresses on Sunday. That sounds all well and good...but is it Scriptural?
First, let's address whether or not "church" really is "God's house."
Howbeit
the
most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands; as saith the prophet,
Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool: what house will ye build
me? saith the Lord: or what is the place of my rest?
Hath not my
hand made all these things? Ye stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart
and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost: as your fathers did, so do
ye.
~Acts
7:48-51
In the New Testament, the Church is people. It's the true believers. It's not a building. The building (whatever form it may have) is where the Church meets. The building is not a sacred shrine.
I'm not suggesting that it's evil to have nicer clothes set aside for meeting with the Church. For instance, in the 1800's, families living on farms had their "everyday clothes", which would become soiled and torn as they worked the farm, and their "Sunday clothes", which they reserved for worship. I believe this is a Scriptural and respectful custom. It is far different from having a different standard of modesty on Sunday.
At one church I attended, the pastor told us of confronting a girl who had been coming to church in "tight" shorts, and sitting toward the front of the sanctuary. He had lovingly and gently asked that she begin wearing looser, more modest clothing to church services. The same summer in which he made this confrontation, this same man, who also lead the church youth group, took the teenagers of the church to a local waterpark, where everyone was instructed to wear bathing suits. Can we not all see the sad lack of consistency and wisdom in this sort of double-standard?
If a woman attended your church service next Sunday in a swimming suit, would you not be shocked, perhaps even angered? Would someone not eventually go to her and lovingly suggest that she wear clothes to church next time? Why? What Scriptures have we used for making these standards which differ from day-to-day and place-to-place?
If a Christian woman from the 19th century attended your church service next Sunday, would she not be shocked?
Has God changed? Has he become modern? Or has the world changed...and the women of the Church changed with it? Satan knew better than to offer such a nasty, rotten piece of fruit all at once. Even as recently as a century ago, or even 50 years ago, if the women of the Church were confronted with the wickedness which the 20th century (Laodicean) church is taking active involvement in, they would have been shocked and horrified. Satan is more crafty than that. He knows that these things must be brought to us slowly--one bite at a time-- as the fruit becomes more and more rotten and infested, yet the women of the church continue biting off more. Just like the frog placed in a pan of cool water, who doesn't jump out when the fire is turned on. Eventually, the frog is boiled. We have become a cold-blooded people.
It's certainly neither my place nor my desire to address the downfallings of the men of the church, or even the church in general, but we sisters must get ahold of ourselves, open our spiritual eyes, and see what is tripping us. That sin of worldliness we're slipping into...or running to with open arms. It sometimes frightens me to think of how much mire I willingly or even unknowingly continue to sit in, as we have become so indistiguishable from the wicked world we're supposed to be totally separated from.
Oh, Lord, let our prayer be as Job's:
How
many are mine iniquities and sins?
Make
me to know my transgression and my sin.
~
Job 13:23
...And our song be as David's:
Make
me to go in the path of thy commandments;
for
therein do I delight.
~
Psalm 119:35
"You
really have no concept, you have no idea of how difficult it is for a guy
to look at a young lady with purity when she is dressed immodestly.
You have no concept."
~23
year old youth pastor
I think that perhaps this brother gives a little too much credit for innocence to many of us, his sisters, in his heartfelt plea. :-(
One
thing we girls would do well to remember when we are clothes shopping is
the following quote from a brother in Christ:
"What I pray and what I hope is that the next time she's out buying an outfit, that she would remember there's more than fashion at stake--that she has a responsibility to love her brothers in the Lord sincerely and part of that is doing nothing that would cause them to stumble... Being righteous before God is worth so much more than getting the attention of any man."
"But I'm not trying to attract men with the way I dress; I just like the clothes that are in style these days. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty."
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings." --Jeremiah 17: 9-10
God
not only searches our hearts and motives, but the fruits
of our actions, the end result. So, you see this gorgeous crushed
velvet blouse on display with a matching pair of bell bottom jeans at the
mall. It's calling your name! You try it on, and it fits like
a glove--literally. Your thought process may be, "I just want to
wear this because it's really pretty....I'm not trying to attract men with
it, and I just want to look nice." Your heart/motive seems pure enough,
right? What about the fruit of your doings? Will
this outfit cause your brothers to stumble? Will it make it very
difficult for them to look at you with purity? "But that's their
problem!" you might say.
"Ye
have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit
adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust
after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." --Matthew
5:27-28
"It
is good neither to...nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is
offended, or is made weak." --Romans 14:21
"And
let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works..."
--Hebrews
10:24
"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another..." --Romans 12: 9,10
Dear sisters, when we take actions that we know might or will cause our brothers to stumble, it becomes our problem!
In
1 Corinthians 2:16, we learn that we are to have "the mind of Christ".
In that light, "cute", immodest clothes will become detestable in
our eyes.
There's
certainly nothing in the Bible indicating that we shouldn't want to appear
lovely, or that we should array ourselves drably. "She maketh
herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple."
--Proverbs 31
But
there are many passages which caution against making outward appearances
our focus; or dressing up and prancing around like a circus pony, while
allowing our inner beauty, our character--the only beauty women can
possess that God prizes--to fade and wither until we become ugly
and detestable in the sight of God and God-fearing people.
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." --Proverbs 31: 30
"Whose
adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and
of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden
man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of
a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted
in God, adorned themselves..."
--I
Peter 3:3-5a
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works" --I Timothy 2:9
*
"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." --Deuteronomy 22: 5 **See Note
Many claim that the above verse doesn't support the belief that women shouldn't wear pants because it's a "cultural thing", and pants are acceptable for women in our culture. These same people will, however, use the same verses to say that men should not dress in "drag." Are we using today's culture as a basis for our standards? God forbid. Yes, pants are "acceptable" attire for women in our culture. So is murdering the unborn, same-sex marriages, premarital "safe" sex, women leaving their children in others' care so they can be free to seek their fortunes, etc. If you want to speak of culture, yes, women wearing pants is "acceptable" in our culture, but pants also "pertain unto a man" in our culture. Webster defines "pertain" using phrases such as "be connected or associated", "to have reference", "be related", "having to do with"... In our society, are pants associated with men? Do they have reference to men? Are they related to men?
Draw a "stick family"--you know, like when you're playing Pictionary, and you have to make your teammate say "daughter". How will you indicate which family member is which? The female characters will have little triangular dresses, the males will have pants. That's our automatic response. Why? Because pants are associated with men and dresses are associated with women. How do you know which door to go through when you want to use a public restroom? The door with the figure clad in feminine apparel--a dress--is the ladies' room. I'm sure that most readers would agree that God wants women to dress modestly and femininely. What is the most modest and feminine garment? A modest dress or skirt. In our society, pants are associated with or "pertaineth unto" men. According to Deuteronomy 22:5, Women who wear clothes pertaining to men are an abomination to God. Strong words.
"I just want to wear what feels comfortable to me. Pants are comfortable. I hate wearing dresses."
I have an extremely hard time believing the excuse that pants are more comfortable. I believe that the girls who really think this is a valid excuse must have never worn a cotton dress. I can speak from experience when I say that a gathered denim skirt is much more comfortable than a pair of 501s, and a cotton dress doesn't ride up like a pair of shorts. In discussing this issue with one girl, she said (with growing indignance), "Well, what about when I work out at the gym!? A dress wouldn't be very comfortable or modest in that situation!"--a good indicator that the young lady needs to stay out of the gym. Placing our personal comfort and choice of lifestyle above what God asks of us is dangerous territory. Nowhere in Scripture does God indicate that we may make decisions based on our comfort level. When God dressed Adam and Eve after the fall, did they respond with, "No, it's way more comfortable to be naked...these coats are too confining," or did they accept the fact that the human body had become shamed, and must be covered according to God's mandates?
"And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?" --Luke 6:46
"If ye love me, keep my commandments...Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me." --John 14: 15, 23, 24
"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous." --I John 5:3
"And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked." --I John 2:3-6
We are not only dressing modestly to protect our brothers' eyes. Our bodies have been brought under shame. Above all, we are to be modestly clothed before God. It was only husband and wife in the Garden when God clothed their nakedness.
In closing, I beg you to seek God's face on this matter. If while reading this you were convicted about the clothes you are wearing, pray for strength to change. We girls are being pressured from every angle to do away with Godly standards for dress. We must pray daily for the strength to withstand.
"This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other; so that ye cannot do the things that ye would." --Galatians 5:16-17
"That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour..." --I Thessalonians 4:4
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world,: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." --Romans 12:1-2
"As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy." --I Peter 1:14-15
"And ye shall know that I am the Lord: for ye have not walked in my statutes, neither executed my judgments, but have done after the manners of the heathen that are round about you." --Ezekiel 11:12
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." --I John 2:15-17
"I
know many girls who would look great in shorter skirts or tighter blouses,
and they know it. But they choose to dress modestly. They take
the responsibility of guarding their brothers' eyes. To these women
and others like them, I'm grateful."
~Joshua
Harris
Email
Lacey with questions or comments.
I'd
be happy to talk with you. :)
Further
Reading
on
This Subject
The
Sin of Bath-Sheba
An
address to Christian women by a brother in Christ
Christian
Appearance and Apparel
A
list of articles covering everything from men's hair length to women's
skirt length
Liberty
Bible Course: The Chrisitian's Appearance
A
comprehensive, fill-in-the-blank Bible study course on the Christian's
appearance. Deals briefly with make-up,
as
well as hair length and men's and women's clothing, perfume, jewelry, and
more.
* "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." --Proverbs 31:30 KJV
** Note: I use this Old Testament verse as an indication of the nature of God. I do not advocate singling out verses from the "old law" which we conveniently choose to live by, while tossing out the rest. We are now under the "new law". However, God's nature does not change. He has not changed this law with a new one stating that men may dress as women, and women as men. Just as most Christians use Old Testament verses to say that God does not want men wearing dresses, we can also use Old Testament verses to say that God does not want women wearing pants.
"The
counsel of the Lord standeth for ever,
the
thoughts of his heart to all generations."
~Psalm
33:11
"For
I am the Lord, I change not..."
~Malachi
3:6
What
was an abomination to God "then"
is
an abomination to God "now" and forever.
Please
note, also, that I do not believe that any woman will go to hell for wearing
pants, nor do I make judgments about whether one is a
Christian
or not based on what she is wearing.**
Suggest this site to your friends!
Your E-mail Address:
E-mail
Address to Send Suggestion Message To: