People should be more educated about the handicapped, not just the mentally handicapped, but the physically handicapped, as well. Speaking from experience, I know what it's like to be misunderstood and also how frustrating it can be when you are physically handicapped. Many people have the wrong idea about those of us who are handicapped, and how we should be treated. In writing this article, I hope to clear up some common misunderstandings about handicapped persons.
The phrase more commonly used today, instead of Physically Handicapped, is Physically Challenged. There is no difference between the two phrases. The more I think about it, however, the more I prefer the phrase, Physically Disabled, over the other two. One common misunderstanding about handicapped persons, is whether or not, a person is mentally handicapped, and\or physically disabled. It's been awhile since I first wrote this article. Since this article first came out, it's appeared in several different forms, ie., The Anchor Newsletter, and The Grimsby Independent, etc. I hope this article will prove to be helpful to those who read it, especially those people, who have misgivings about being around the disabled.
Many able-bodied people seem to think that, just because someone has something physically wrong with him\her that he\she is mentally handicapped as well. That is not always true, and is certainly not the case with me! These people seem to think that being mentally handicapped has to go together with being physically disabled, without any exceptions. When this happens, the physically disabled person feels very hurt or very angry because of this. There are also people who think, that they have to be really nice to physically disabled persons, because they are in a wheelchair. They think they have to be really careful about what they say. Others think that, just because someone is physically disabled he\she can't speak for him\herself, and that someone else has to speak for him\her. It is true, that people who are handicapped, either physically or mentally, sometimes can't verbally express themselves, but they have other ways of communicating with people. One example, is Bliss Symbolics, put together in some type of folder. This form of communication is a series of drawings, with the words of what each drawing is, underneath the picture or symbol. Some people use sign language, even if they are not hearing impaired. Today, even computers play a big part in how a person communicates, especially when they can't communicate verbally. So you see that most handicapped persons can speak for themselves and should be allowed to do so. Come over and talk to us. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised!
It may be, that there is a misunderstanding between the parents, or other family members, of a physically disabled person. It is sometimes hard for that person, to express his or her feelings, because of the close relationships of family members, who help the one who is physically disabled. It is because of the relationship of those involved in this way, with the physically disabled person, that problems such as these may arise. The problem may lie with the person, or people in the family, who help the physically disabled person. That's why it's so nice, when physically challenged people can have friends outside of their homes, with whom they can talk, too.
Subjects and feelings, difficult to talk about, will be different in every situation. Family members may feel resentful, when the one in the wheelchair, has to be looked after by them. A family may develop guilt feelings. They may also feel that the individual in the wheelchair should get to know other people, or maybe, even live somewhere else. They can't always do something about it. might feel differently than they do. The physically disabled person may even have his or her own ideas about the situation, in which they find themselves unable to express their opinion, for fear of hurting someone else's feelings.
Sometimes parents get upset, especially, when the handicapped sibling tries to express his or her feelings about something, that he or she feels should be expressed. It is usually a different view point from that of their parents. Physically disabled people have their own viewpoints on things, that should be talked about. We don't want to be a burden to anyone, but many times, we have to be helped. We often have little, or no say, in how we should be looked after.
It is because of these frustrations, what we are trying to say sometimes comes out all wrong. This is when feelings get hurt and it wasn't intended to be that way at all. I think that it is very important that parents and children talk about their feelings with each other, especially when it involves a brother or sister who is handicapped. The physically disabled member of the family may feel "stuck in the middle" because of trying to look at things from both sides.
Sometimes, when physically disabled persons want to try out new things, their parents are at a loss at what to do about it. They are reluctant to let their "special" child go, because they are afraid of what might happen to them. Physically disabled people must also learn through their mistakes. Their parents cannot always shield them from hurts. Certain things happen to us in order to make us grow, and teach us to depend completely on God. We don't know the solution to all of our problems, but God does! We just have to stay close to Him. He knows exactly what we need, and He will give these things to us.
I think that sometimes parents are scared to ask for help, when it comes to looking after a child such as this. I also think that there are plenty of people out there who want to get to know a physically disabled person, but do not know how to act towards a person such as myself. Shall I tell you how to act? Be yourself! Act normal!! It really frustrates me when people act phoney towards me, like a big shot because they talked to a person in a wheelchair! Don't kid yourself. I know a phoney person when I see one! I don't take very kindly to them! If someone is shy, or feels awkward towards me, I usually talk first. Another thing, that helps to "break the ice" and gets them to talk is, if I joke around about myself. After that, they are not afraid of me any more. There's a big difference between those people who are shy and those people who feel that they know everything about how they should treat physically disabled people. They are the ones who wonder why they didn't get a smile out of that "poor" person!
There may be plenty of people in this world, who look after the physically disabled. I think that people from our Reformed circles should get more involved with this sort of thing. I also think that sometimes, the mentally handicapped people get a lot done for them, and that the physically disabled person doesn't get enough done for him/her. Many people don't realize it, but it is sometimes very difficult to look after someone in a wheelchair. Quite often, the task of looking after handicapped people, is done by too few. It ties the same family members or friends down too much. We might appreciate their help more, if we saw a different face once in awhile.
There are also people outside of the home, who do
spend time with us. These people, seem to have a natural instinct about how it is, we
would like to be treated. They're the kind of people we, as physically disabled people,
like making friends with. Just come over, and talk to us, you may be pleasantly surprised!
I am very grateful for what my family and friends do for me. Not every physically disabled
or able-bodied person, for that matter, is as fortunate as I am, to have people, such as
these, in my life. There are many people I would like to thank. The people, I'd like to
mention in particular, are those who work at Anchor Home, and the Red Cross/VON
Homemakers. It is my hope, that in reading this, many more able-bodied people will
take an interest in working with those of us, who are handicapped. More things are being
done today for people, like myself, than ever before! There should also be more programs
made available for us. I am very fortunate to come from a christian family and have a
christian upbringing. These days, more and more people are thinking better of those of us,
who are physically disabled then, they were a long time ago. More things are being done
for them. They are allowed to be in the open now, and are not just being shoved aside and
forgotten about.
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