Collection of Viagra funnies # 4 !!
A guy with a heart condition took Viagra,
Sadly he had a heart attack and died while in the act with his wife.
She called the police and they asked her what happened.
She answered!! Well~he came~~and then he went.
^Tyger
Did you hear that they are making viagra in powdered form?
Dissolve a capful in your bath water and you will feel good all over,
instead of just one spot.
Kathy N.
NEW MEDICINE FOR MEN
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer, the manufacturer, is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society....
•DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
•PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
•CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."
•COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
•BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a periodlonger than your favorites store's return limit.
•NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
•NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
•FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
•FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D.(Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
•PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."
•LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions. Pfizer, the manufacturer of the wildly successful Viagra, announced a related line of drugs to improve the performance of women in today's society...
•FEMAGRA - Women given this proven new drug report fewer incidents of late evening headaches.
•NEGA-NAGRA - In clinical trials, 95% of women taking this drug, report less of an urge to nag their spouses.
•PM-SAGRA - This drug totally reverses the hormonal changes caused by PMS, making women easier to live with during "that time of month." A CBOT spokesman observed that maybe they should offer futures on this drug since the demand cycle coincides with monthly futures expiration cycle.
•BULBAGRA - Women on this drug are more likely to change a light bulb than wait in the dark until their husbands do it.
•JEANAGRA - This drug liberates women from the feeling that they are always in a fashion show. No more trying on three different outfits every morning, one pair of jeans is all that's needed.
Scientists have developed a new pill that will now help impotent
impotent allergy suffers. By combining Allegra to take care of the allergies, and Viagra for the impotency, it gives you an erection not to be sneezed at!
Since the release of Viagra, exotic dancers now claim that they are receiving a lot more standing ovations.
Sammy sez, "I dated a girl so ugly she's used as a antidote for Viagra!
VIAGRA Chapstik? One way to keep a "stiff upper lip!"
Phiser came up with a new marketing plan for Viagra aimed at people who cannot take the drug in pill form.
Jelly bean style Viagra. They're harder than the regular kind but they cum in colors...
Did you hear that they are making viagra in powdered form? Dissolve a capful in your bath water and you will feel good all over, instead of just one spot. Kathy NOWELL
The word is that around the manufacturing facilities the drug is simply known as:
"The Phiser Riser".
This balding fellow went to his doctor to ask him what he could do for his deteriorating sex life. The doctor told him about viagra and "while we're at it, rogaine might help with your receding hair line". So do you know what he ended up with? A full head of hair that stands straight on end!!
NOT THE PROBLEM
This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home.
He calls her on the phone, and says,"I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," she replies.
The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife?
She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks.
The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.
The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra with the housekeeper..."
I TOOK AN IRON PILL WITH MY VIAGRA THIS MORNING , BEEN POINTING DUE NORTH ALL DAY.
Tommy R.
Today we look at the lighter side of Viagra, the now famous impotency medication from Pfizer which makes men last longer (or last at all) and women much happier. Talk about a win-win product. The new name for it - - - - -"The Pfizer Riser!"
If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck.
A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: "Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals!" They will face a "stiff" sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a "Penal" Institution.
For women not-in-the-mood, California bars now have Viagra-free zones.
!!!!!! VIAGRA CAUSES PANIC !!!!!!
WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) -- Viagra, the new pill for impotence approved by
the
Food and Drug Administration on Friday, is already causing problems
across the
country. The FDA had said a man would need to be sexually aroused
before
thedrug would work, but apparently failed to consider that most men walk
around in a constant state of sexual arousal. Several disasters or
near-disasters
have already been reported:
* In Boise, a passenger plane skidded off the runway after the pilot's erection inadvertently hit the button that causes the landing gear to retract.
Jokes on this page were contributed by lots of friends... names are at the end of some...others are Wildog..and ONE Man .. thanks to all that help make this page possible for Collection #4
* In San Bernardino County, outside of Los Angeles, a 17-car pileup occurred when trucker Dirk Diggler apparently lost control of his rig, blocking his vision and causing him to also lose control of his truck.
FDA Spokesperson Bonnie Thurston commented, "There's no limit to the damage that this pill could cause. We've got to make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, like President Clinton's, for example, or we could have a potential nuclear mistake."
And the New Viagra SMILEY FACE :---)
The Flora Margarine Company has just announced that is to market a new margarine for the older man, which, not surprisingly at the moment,will contain a measured dose of Viagra. The name leaked to this correspondent, is a closely kept secret, but I have it on good authority that the name will be.... "I can't believe it's not Flaccid!"
Question:"Whats the difference between you first honeymoon and these cond?"
Answer:"The first,Niagra,the second,Viagra
FROM BAD TO WORSE....
A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face -- some even look a little frightened -- and Clinton isn't in the room.
"What's the matter" he asked
"Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news"
"What's the bad news?"
"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground testsite; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war -- that may go nuclear."
"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?"
"Well, Bill just got hold of some Viagra"!!!!!!!
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