COMPUTER VIRUSES  !!!

* Tonya Harding Virus     Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons.

* Ollie North Virus           Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.

* Oprah Winfrey Virus    Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB then slowly expands to                                        300MB.

* Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus   Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back...

* O.J. Simpson Virus      It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of  your files                                        and vows to find the virus that did.

* Ronald Reagan Virus   Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.

* Ross Perot Virus          Activates every component of your system, just before the whole                                        darn thing quits!

* Politically Correct Virus   Never calls itself a virus, but instead refers to itself as an                                            "electronic micro-organism."

* Adam and Eve Virus     Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.


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It takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 17 muscles to smile. That makes it 2.5 times easier to smile.

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