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The Bear Facts
Why Teddy Bears Are Better Than Husbands
- They never tell you that you have bad breath
- They never borrow your things without asking
- They never complain when you eat in bed
- They never interrupt you when you're talking
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They don't embarrass you with the way they dress
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They never say "I told you so"
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They never leave dirty socks on the floor
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They never think you're too fat
They don't criticize your driving
They think all your jokes are funny
They never talk about you behind your back
They think all your ideas are brilliant
They never hog the bathroom
They never eat the last chocolate chip cookie
They never get jealous over your other friends
They would rather talk to you than watch T.V.
They always want to cuddle
They never leave the toilet seat up
They think romantic movies are great
They understand your needs
They think you cook like a master chef
They always insist that you buy new clothes
They don't make rude bodily sounds
They value your opinion on everything
They hate beer and poker
They think all sports are a waste of time
They love helping you around the house
They will always stop and ask directions
They are always on time
They love to go shopping with you
They never walk around in their tacky underwear
Their clothes always match and they always look neat
They never think you talk on the phone too much
They think all your time on the computer is very meaningful
They always trust you
They encourage you to do whatever you want
They think having a pair of shoes to match every outfit is necessary
They don't snore
They don't scratch themselves or adjust "private parts" all the time
They don't leave whisker shavings in the sink
They think everything you do is way better than the way their mother did it
They totally understand your need for time to yourself
They think you're gorgeous when you first wake up
They're completely sympathetic to "monthly" mood swings
They know no one else would treat them as good as you do
They're patient at all times
They can hug and cuddle without wanting anything more
The hair on their back is soft and the hair in their ears is cute
We should all strive to be more like teddy bears by:
Being quiet more often and listening more
Being soft and warm
Being a friend to all
Remembering that love bears all things
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