Glad you could make it here to read some of these funny little
tidbits. I think a good sense of humor should be standard
equipment, along with our other five senses. It sure helps me to
get through my days. I start every day off with a good laugh; of
course thats easy since as soon as I get out of bed I am staring
at a big ol' mirror!!
Did you know that laughing truly is medically beneficial? It has been proven to increase endorphins(those little thingies
in your brain that make you feel happy)
It has also been proven to lower blood pressure, and boost the immune system. It also burns a lot of calories. What else, that is totally free, can give you so many health benefits?? And besides all that...it just plain feels good!!
I hope some of these little ditties at least bring a chuckle
or two. Let's find out shall we......??
~THINGS I HAVE WONDERED~
If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you
get away with that...does that make you successful?
If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean
that marriage is an institution for the blind?
If you can buy more memory for your computer...why can't people?
What does an imperfect stranger look like?
The term "free gift" never made sense to me...has anybody ever said to you..."I bought you a gift, now that will be $19.95?"
What do the manufacturers of styrofoam pack their shipments in?
Is it really possible to be completely partial?
If you pulled the wings off of a fly..would it then be called a walk?
If wool shrinks in water...why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
Is it ok for vegetarians to eat animal crackers?
If a mime gets arrested, does he have the right to remain silent?
How can a one pound box of candy make you gain five pounds?
If psychics are for real..why don't they call us?
Speaking of psychics..why don't they ever win lotteries?
If contractors erect a building, when they are done why isn't it called a built?
Did you ever stop to think...and then forget to start again?
How do you know if sour cream goes bad?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How do deer know to cross at those deer crossing signs?
Is it a coincidence that the word "politics" comes from the Latin roots with "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning blood sucking insects?
Is it ok to ask the clerk in a book store where the section on "self-help" is?
How come Tarzan doesn't have a beard?
No disrespect intended here but, ladies, do you think Moses would have had to wander the desert so long if he would have just stopped to ask directions?
How does the bank expect you to pay the penalty fee on a check thats returned for insuffient funds.....with a check?
If a person becomes "Born Again" do they get another belly button?
Do math teachers have a lot of problems?
If you want to become a vegetatian,is it ok to give up meat cold turkey?
If you wear glasses,is everything you see an optical illusion?
Is it ok to pay your psychiatrist with a reality check?
What happens to an engineer if he looses his train of thought?
Do fishermen live in the reel world?
Could you call an avid chess player a chestnut?
Do fortune tellers earn good prophets?
Does a gambler live in a pair-a-dice?
Are people who work at Holiday Inn...inn experienced?
Isn't there something kleptomaniacs can take to help them?
~Some Thoughts~
I made a promise to myself to get in shape and I did it! Round is a shape isn't it?
I have my own opinions on things....is that ok with you?
Computers allow us to make mistakes much faster than we ever could by hand
There are two sure fire rules for a successful life
Rule#1 Don't tell people everything you know
Rule#2
Youth is wasted on the young
Yesterday my friend called me a procastinator and I was so mad that I vowed to get even with her...soon as I get around to it
I then asked her if she knew the meaning of the word apathy? She said "no, and I don't care"
When doing any kind of writting, you should always avoid cliches like the plague
People who are redundant by reapeating themselves and saying the same thing twice really annoy me
Free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it
Change is inevitable....except from a vending machine
A preposition is a word that you should never end a sentence with
I put a dollar bill into a machine that said "get change here"
but nothing changed
If the shoe fits.....buy them
Most women would rather have beauty than brains because men can see better than they can think
If you want people to know where you stand....don't bathe for a week
I have found that the easiest way to find something I lost is to go buy another one
Overexageration is a really really huge enormous bad habit
Most mothers tell their daughters to marry doctors...I told mine to marry an archeologist because the older she gets , the more
interested he will be in her
It's easier to let the cat out of the bag than it is to get it back in
If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably going the wrong way on a one-way street
I think it's kind of mean that the word for speech impediment is
"lisp".....think about it!
If you want to see someone you haven't seen in a while,go shopping without any makeup on and your hair looking a mess
I am not a great artist but I am good at drawing a blank
If you are what you eat then I'm staying away from nuts
Oops..too late on that last one
California is known for its sunshine and earthquakes so I guess you could call it the shake and bake state
I tried to learn yoga and meditation but my karma ran over my dogma
I will try to add new stuff on a regular basis. So please come back from time to time to see whats new. It's been a pleasure
having you here!! Hope you are leaving with a smile on your lips!
