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  • The Anti-Christ bears his identity on his face. And on national TV. Click here.

  • Check back here for a detailed report of the Anti-Christ's daliance with irony otherwise known as The Devil's Advocate.
The general distaste and antipathy that follows the public life of Keanu Reeves is nothing new. However, few of the people who have opinions on the young man, in favor or against, realize the truth: that Keanu Reeves is the manifestation of evil on Earth, the Anti-Christ.




the truth
It is a firmly-held belief that Keanu Reeves, wooden actor and wannabe rockstar, is the Anti-Christ, the son of Satan.
The following are interpretations of verses from the Book of Revelations, the Christian apocalyptic prophesy, that reveal the true nature of Keanu --- that of evil incarnate and the representative of the Devil on Earth.

the news
The devil deceives. He writes with his left hand ('left' coming from the word that means 'sinister'), but let he plays bass guitar right-handed. Certainly left-handers have many obstacles to overcome as a minority on earth, but guitars are not one of them. Paul McCartney and Jimi Hendrix both play/played left-handed. Certainly this lie demonstrates how Keanu aims to mislead his throngs of followers.
Avoid 'Cheez-its'!! For more information on this anti-manna, go here.


3 Sept 1997: Keanu Reeves, anti-christ?
Phlash reports:
Indeed you must be right. At one stage I was told that I looked just like Keeanu Reeves and so I started to emulate him. Soon, however, girls were worshipping me and running around campus naked. Although this made me even more popular with guys and I got a good two years out of it, I now realise that I was nothing more than an agent for Evil Incarnate. At this stage it pleased his Satanic self to contact me. I joined Keeanu in a debauched orgy at someone's house in L.A. where we had sex with billy-goats. Then I cut my hair, and now everyone thinks I look like Pierce Brosnan and so I have rejected Keeanu and his evil ways. By the way, while I looked like Keeanu I exposed my bottom to a first year class in Political Studies.
23 Sept. 1997: Anti-Christ maybe, the Devil no
Jennifer Rudd reports:
anti-christ maybe, the devil no Satan is more popularly known as MEDUSA, or ASUDEM, he is not the devil. The devil is known as Lucifer. Marxist-Leninists refer to him as LUCIFER. The particular Keanu Reeves you refer to would be known as Promotheus.
24 Sept. 1997: From Ain't It Cool News
Harry Knowles:
The film starts about 15 minutes late. The first trailer comes up: THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE- a quick group of cuts showing Ted... oops, Keanu and Charlize Theron in New York. Then we see this close up of Keanu looking into the camera. A gigantic horrific 40 ft Keanu head staring at us, the terrified audience. The frame becomes stuck, as that horrendous presence begins melting before my eyes!!! As if my thoughts had destroyed his image. It was glorius. Keanu melts like the Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ahhhhhhh, all as it should be.

26 Sept 1997:
Keanu gives a glowing review of "The Devil's Advocate" . . .


"Good. I think it was good.
We didn't have a lot of time,
but I think we did good."

6 Oct 1997: From the British edition of Premiere
Stric9 reports that in the October issue Keanu admits he sucked in Bram Stoker's Dracula . . .

"I just didn't come up to the level of the movie, you know."

Could this be a chink in the satanic armor? Only by the grace of God.

October 16, 1997
The Anti-Christ appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno to preach about his latest attempt to recruit the world into Satan's service. And what did he have on his face, but a Goatee. Of course everybody knows that the Goat is a symbol of Satan, so it should come to know surprise that the Anti-Christ would wear this symbol below his blasphemous mouth. Sources also report that the particular style of Goatee that Keanu wore is also known as a soul patch, which is particularly fitting since his ultimate goal is the ownership of every human soul on earth.


AN IMPORTANT NOTICE:

A reader has volunteered to view The Devil's Advocate in its entirety and supply to this forum a detailed description of the film, so that fans of Al Pacino and/or Charlize Theron will be able to resist the temptation to view this abomination of morality and cinema. Stay tuned (bookmark this page) for further details of this First Martyrdom of the Anti-Christ.

Send your news, comments, and/or reviews here.
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Because you appreciate my opinions, go to some recommended Links.

Your hormones still tormented by putrid thoughts of Mr. Hellspawn?
You may enjoy the Keanu page at Queer Planet Idols. Have fun in the squalor of your indecency.



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