Hey, Kool Kats and Kittens! Welcome to the of the Koolest movie site that you'll ever surf!
Well whatta ya' know, Daddy-O, you are the Kat to shoot this curl. Groovy!
On this beach, you'll find 12 blankets devoted different kinds of Kool Flicks! We're not JUST talkin' about the latest Gonzo release playing at the Cinema Cineplex (next to the Singer Sewing Center) either. No way, Ray! We're talkin' about the Koolest flicks EVER!
How are films judged to be Kool enough to make it onto this page? A TOP SECRET device, called 'The Koolometer' is used to rate a films' Koolativity. (This device was created by some circuit-head, up in Sunnyvale. There's only one in existence. The inventor destroyed the plans and killed himself once he'd seen what he created. I found the thing for sale at a garage sale, but that's a whole other story...)
Don't see a flick that you think is pretty Kool? Well chill, Phil! Entries on these blankets will be updated on a regular basis! Some will stay, some will move to the "Previously Reviewed, But Still Quite Kool" blanket. Remember, there's ALWAYS new Kool to be found!
So, don't be a dud, be a dude. Wax down your board and surf through some old faves, or better yet, discover some new ones. Most of these Kool Classics should be available at your local video store and when your Video Counter Jockey asks, "Why the hell are you renting THAT?!" Say, "Move outta Squaresville, and check out 'Raybans and Popcorn' on The Web!" After that, your Blockbuster guy may actually develop a personality. Well, it COULD happen!
Would you like to be notified when the next edition is posted? Got any questions, thoughts, raves, rages, new categories you'd like to see? Well... just click here to send me your KOOL E-MAIL, I'd love to hear from ya'. I'm no poozer, so all messages will be answered, all suggestions considered!
Click on the topic you want and you'll hop right onto that blanket:
HIGH SCHOOL / HORROR / MYSTERY
Here are some KOOL links to other KOOL sites. Check'em out! Drew's Scripts-O-Rama: Choose from over 500 film and T.V. scripts Lady Blue & The Tramps: A very Kool site for a very Kool band Webtender: An online Bartender (He works for you, not for tips!). Look up new receipes, or add your favorites! Bottoms up! So ya' think you'd like to be a Cyber-dude and have your own WEB SITE too? Well, the folks at GEOCITIES helped bring this site to life, click on their icon to get more information for yourself! ACTION DESPERADO- 1995 - The EXPLOSIVE sequel to "El Mariachi"! Okay, so it's cartoony, but every guy who says he didn't like, is only saying that because his lady couldn't stop drooling over Antonio Banderas. The truth is, it's slick, it's sly and it's way Kool! "Let's play." ESCAPE FROM N.Y.- 1981 - By today's standards, it's a minor effort. But wait! Look again, and it's a brilliant nihilistic vision of the future; An Action flick that portrays a society devouring itself. Perhaps bigger isn't always better? VANISHING POINT- 1971 - A Kool '70's chase flick. An attempt to drive cross country in 15 hours! Fast Cars, Freaky people, A blind D.J. and some mysticism thrown in for good measure. Bitchin' FANTASIA- 1940 - What! That old Disney flick that my Mom dragged me to? The one with the dumb Classical music and the dancing Hippo? Yep! That's the one. Check it out again. To an adult eye, this is a masterpiece of flowing images. Some narrative, some expressionism AND Chernobog, the demon of Bald Mountain! WICKED CITY- 1992 - a.k.a. "Supernatural Beast City", this Japanese flick follows a secret agent trying to stop a dimensional infiltration of Demons into our world. Jaw dropping graphics AND Spine shattering action make this one of THE most incredible animated flicks, EVER! Well off the Koolometer! WIZARDS- 1977 - The forces of Good and Evil square off in this beautifully rendered fable. Many methods of animation were used to bring this story to life, hence a Kool, ethereal mood is captured throughout the film. Check out Avatar, the Koolest wizard, ever! AFTER HOURS- 1985 - A nerdy Manhattan office worker goes on a date in Soho. He loses his money and spends all night trying to get back uptown! Kool camera work, slick dialogue and a great sense of the "after hours" vibe, make this Martin Scorcese comedy a very Kool view. HEAD- 1968 - It's got The Monkees! It's got Frank Zappa! It's got Toni Basil! It's got Terri Garr! It makes no sense! It's trippy! It's got Kool songs! A great snapshot from the late '60's. Scores high on the Koolometer! TOP SECRET!- 1984 - A spoof of Beach films, Elvis films AND World War II spy films! The funniest and Koolest film from the folks who brought you "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun". See; Skeet Surfing, A cow wearing Jack Boots, A bizarre ballet and A little German! Watch it more than once to get ALL the gags! Very Kool! CITIZEN KANE- 1941 - There is a reason that this is considered to be one of the greatest films ever made. The reason is the incredible amount of Kool involved! This was Orson Welles' first film and with it, he shattered many previously established film rules and styles. A Kool upstart, making a Kool film, Welles wouldn't take "no" for an answer. If he wanted a scene, HE GOT IT! This film is still sly and it's themes and humor transcend the years that have passed since it's debut. A Kool masterpiece! EASY RIDER- 1969 - Dennis Hopper...Peter Fonda...Jack Nicholson...Motorcycles...Drugs...The '60's. Any questions? SUNSET BOULEVARD- 1950 - An aging starlet spirals into madness and takes a young Hollywood opportunist down with her. A very Kool and very bitter examination of the way "New" Hollywood turned its' back on "Old" Hollywood. Haunting and hypnotic, this film leaves Kool images etched in your mind for days after you've watched it. BATMAN RETURNS- 1992 - A completely new reality was created for this film to take place in. 3 Characters (The Cat, The Bat and The Penguin)with scarred psyches battle each other, while trying to find themselves. Brutal and beautiful, this film is a Kool examination of isolation and despair. A madmans' Christmas movie! DICK TRACY- 1990 - A comic strip comes to life! Kool visuals, Kool make-up and Kool characters! A four color dream come true! THE HUDSUCKER PROXY- 1994 - A Kool-Fantasy that follows the rise of a naive Mailroom clerk to President of a large corporation during the '50's. Our unwitting "hero" is actually a pawn of Good and Evil, but continues to pursue his dream of marketing his invention. This flick drips with '50's Cosmo-Kool and pays tribute to many "Everyman" films. Another Kool flick from the makers of "Barton Fink" and "Raising Arizona". LA DOLCE VITA- 1960 - Made in Italy, this is perhaps the KOOLEST movie ever made! From the opening scenes of a Christ statue hovering over Rome, to the final scenes of a prehistoric fish dying on a beach, this film examines the issues of Youth, Old Age, Love, Lust, Wealth, Poverty and Celebrity. A Kool snapshot of an Italy that no longer exists, luckily, this flick will live forever! "Caio, Marcello". THE ITALIAN JOB- 1969 - Made in England, this film captures the late '60's U.K. Koolness and twists it into a Kool crime caper / car chase film. Featuring Michael Caine, Benny Hill, '60's mod fashions and a Kool car chase through the streets of Torino and the Italian Alps! (A BIG influence on a little film called 'The Blues Brothers'!) Very Kool! "Hold on Mates, I've got an idea!" THE SWORD OF VENGEANCE SERIES- 1970's - From Japan, these 6 films, better known as 'Lone Wolf and Cub', are beautifully fashioned glimpses of the culture and violence of feudal Japan. The story of an ex-executioner seeking vengeance against the Shogun who betrayed him is also the story of a devoted Father who carries out his mission of revenge while pushing his Son through the country side, in a baby cart that is with weapons! Brutal and beautiful at the same time! These films have not been released in the U.S., but many specialty stores may be able to provide copies of these classics! See them Letterboxed, if possible! (Parts of this series have been re-edited into 2 U.S. releases 'Lightning Swords of Death' and 'Shogun Assassin')('Shogun Assassin is pretty Kool, all on its' own!) "Daigoro, we are going to Hell!" AMERICAN GRAFFITI- 1973 - A very Kool look at the loss of innocence upon leaving High School and entering "The Real World" in 1962. Kool cars, Kool music, Ton's of 'actors' who went on to become 'STARS'. Kool looking homage to a time long gone, but an experience that is repeated annually! (Bob Falfa shoulda won the race!) THE JOHN HUGHES HIGH SCHOOL QUAD- 1980's - From Freshman Awkwardness (16 Candles), to Sophomore Angst (The Breakfast Club), through Junior Restlessness (Weird Science) and finally with Senior Rebellion (Ferris Buellers Day Off), John Hughes has given us the ultimate examination of High School in the '80's. These films glow with the Music, Fashion, Lingo, Attitude and general Koolativity that filled High School halls during that decade. Sure, we've seen them 1000 times, so what? "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around, you might miss it." ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL- 1979 - A low budget comedy featuring "Airplane!"-type gags, cute chicks and a BITCHIN soundtrack by The Ramones! It's juvenile, it's corny, but it's great 10th grade fun! Can the Ultra-Kool Riff Randall get those tickets to The Ramones show? Find out for yourself! THREE O'CLOCK HIGH- 1987 - The new kid in school is inescapably drawn into a fight with the school bully. This universal situation is explored through some very dark humor and very unique camera work. If you've ever been in this predicament, here is a very KOOL and very way to re-live the magic! CARNIVAL OF SOULS- 1962 - Kool and creepy, this flick plays like an 82 minute 'Twilight Zone' episode. A woman survives a car wreck only to find herself haunted by menacing spectral images. Kool, creepy organ music and eerie B&W photography make this an effective little favorite. Watch it late at night, with the lights out, for added Creepativity! THE EVIL DEAD- 1983 - Vacationing College kids mistakenly unleash, and are possessed by, demons from another dimension. This low budget flick features Kool demons, Fantastic make-up effects, Kool camera work and a real Creepy atmosphere. Another late night 'Must See'. THE GEORGE A. ROMERO 'LIVING DEAD' TRILOGY- 1968, 1979, 1985 - Humans are faced with the grim situation of their loved ones coming back from the dead as Flesh Hungry zombies, in these three Kool Horror fests! These flicks depict the Living Dead as an emerging social class; Silent Minority (Night of the Living Dead), Middle Class Consumers ('natch)(Dawn of the Dead) and finally, The Vocal Majority (Day of the Dead). Kool characters against incredible odds, and a constant sense of Impending Claustrophobic Doom give these films an eerie quality that jumps from the shadows and grabs your attention. "When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth!" (Click here for a Gruesome "Living Dead" web site!) BLUE VELVET- 1986 - An innocent young man finds a severed ear, and that's just the start of the weird events he must go through to solve the mystery at hand. Check out Dennis Hopper as Frank, the nitrous sniffing psycho! Kool story, Kool images, Kool depiction of the sick sub-culture lurking in every small town! DETOUR- 1945 - A Kool New York pianist is blackmailed a shady female hitchhiker in this Classic Noir film. Who is this woman and why is she so intent on destroying this mans life? They don't come much Kooler than this low budget gem! THE MALTESE FALCON- 1941- A true who's who of Kool Mystery flicks. The Kool detective, the mysterious woman, the sniveling henchman, the obsessed villain and corpses everywhere! Kool looking, Kool acting, Kool story and an ending that lets you know what's what! LIQUID SKY- 1983 - A alien craft lands on a NYC rooftop and proceeds to feed on the punk inhabitants of the neighborhood. By the way, the Alien only eats a chemical that is found in Heroin the chemical released by the brain during sex! A VERY, VERY dark Sci-Fi comedy that depicts adapting nihilistic punk values as being the only safe way to exist. Lovers of the oddly kool should try to unearth this low budget classic! METROPOLIS- 1926 - The designers of the future must always consider the hands which will build it. This SILENT movie has yet to be surpassed in its' understanding of the classes and its' overall originality! Towering cities, Astounding Imagery, Cyborgs, Sex Bars and unusually advanced direction combine to make this a film that was WAY ahead of its' time. (In as much as it has been maligned, the re-assembled version from 1984 is a TOTALLY KOOL way to view this flick. This version restores lost scenes and re-tints scenes to their original colors. If the music of the '80's "Where Are They Now" musicians gets to you, just turn down the sound!) THE THING- 1982 - An unrelenting study in paranoia and claustrophobia! An isolated Antarctic research team is invaded by an Alien that is able to adopt any physical form. The researchers are killed off one by one, and the survivors have to figure out who is human, and who is really an Alien shape-shifter! Mind scrambling special effects make this, already intense, flick a truly unique viewing experience! (Check out the original 1951 flick too! It's a different slant on the same story. In fact the characters come across even Kooler in the original.) BITE THE BULLET- 1975 - In the early 1900's, a 600 mile horse race is run by an unruly mob of cowboys who realize they are slowly becoming obsolete. This odd film comes off as an odd combination of an old Western and a early Action film, but is fun the whole way through. For fans of Gene Hackman, this is a MUST SEE! "A whiskey for me, and a beer for my horse!" DANCES WITH WOLVES- 1990 - Well, what can I say. Beautifully filmed. Impecably acted. This film tells the heartbreaking tale of Lt. Dunbar, a U.S. Calvaryman who is adopted by an Indian tribe. Dunbar is embraced by the tribe and becomes one with them. The trouble starts when the Calvary comes to take Dunbar back, having labeled him a deserter AND a traitor. This film achieves Koolness for it's depiction of a "White Man" who begins to realize what fate is in store for the lands and the Natives of the then "New" West. A stunning plea for Peace and Equality. PALE RIDER- 1985 - During the California Gold Rush, a mysterious man, posing as a preacher, rides into town to settle a dispute between unscrupulous miners and prospecting settlers. Clint Eastwood, who stars and directs, has crafted a dark film that works as both a Western and a religous allegory. Nothing this time Think Shrink, this IS only the First Edition!
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What's kooler than an Action flick? A KOOL Action flick. With each new achievement in special effects, Action flicks get bigger and bolder. It takes a certain something for an Action film to hold onto its' Koolativity. Check out some of these Classics...
ALIENS- 1986 - Sure, it masquerades itself as a Sci-Fi film, but films don't come much more than this. Check out the laserdisk version, if you can. "Get away from her, you bitch!" Kool and then some.
THE MAD MAX TRILOGY- 1979, 1982, 1985 - Okay, another nihilistic view of a dystopian future, but these three films chronicle the agonizing road through Damnation (Mad Max), Redemption (The Road Warrior) and Ascension (Beyond Thunderdome), as traveled by Max. Of course, that road is littered with Kool Cars, wicked chases and far out punks. "A white line nightmare."
Cartoons? Kool? You bet your ass! These 'toons rule...
HEAVY METAL- 1981 - Do I really need to point out the Kool elements here? Future punks, Murderous skeletons, Taarna, a KICKIN' soundtrack AND a space tripping Corvette! (All that accounts for less than half of the films' Koolness!)
YELLOW SUBMARINE- 1968 - Let's see.... The Beatles - Kool. Baroque Animation - Kool. Pop Symbolism from the '60's - Kool. Just sit back and tip-toe through The Meanies. A splendid time is guaranteed for all!
There is (almost) nothing that makes you feel better, than a good laugh! A Kool comedy should be either 1. Reflective of it's time (but not dated) OR 2. So non-stop hysterical, you tend to have trouble breathing while watching it. With that in mind...
A HARD DAYS NIGHT- 1964 - Plot? What plot? It's The Beatles.....They're on their way to do a live T.V. spot......They try to ditch their manager while keeping an eye on Pauls' grandfather ("He's got two, ya' know"). It was the '60's. The Koolitivity displayed by the Fab Four is amazing. It's like they weren't even acting. '60's slacking at it's Koolest! Great songs. Great fun. Too Kool!
CLERKS- 1994 - Kool philosophical riffs on everything from Sex to Star Wars are what make this B&W, indie-comedy, THE KOOLEST thing to ever come from N.J.(Yes, even Kooler than 'The Boss') If you "Hate people, but love gatherings", you are perfectly attuned to the pulse of this '90's slacker-Kool masterpiece.(Click here for a Kool "Clerks" web site!)
Kool Drama comes in all different shapes and sizes. Kool Kats and Kittens can get into all kinds of gnarly situations. Nobody ever said that Kool people never had any problems...
PULP FICTION- 1994 - A portrait of redemption is painted on a VERY KOOL canvas of gangsters, drugs and a mysterious briefcase! Ask ten different people what this movie is about and you'll get ten different answers. For my money, that's Kool! (Click here to test your "Pulp Fiction" Trivia knowledge. {Warning! These questions have driven several 'Pulp' fans into fits of hysterics. Be careful!})
TAXI DRIVER- 1976 - A New York cabby envisions himself as "The rain that comes to wash all the scum off the streets" and the protector of a fallen angel. This descent into murderous madness is Kool beyond measure. "You talkin' to me?"
Fantastic events happening to incredible characters in worlds that may exist just to left of the real world. The realm of Fantasy is a vast breeding ground for Kool. Let's just skim the surface...
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS- 1991 - The pain of teenage awkwardness and romance are beautifully examined in this poetic masterpiece. Edward, a young man with scissors for hands, is taken from the safety of his home, and thrown into the real world. Edward falls in love with a girl, and a life, that he knows he can never "hold onto". Touching and Kool; We've all been there.
O => "You know.....for kids".
KING KONG- 1933 - No, I'm not kidding! Carl Denham never loses his Kool in his pursuit of Kong. Kong stomps the s**t outta NYC. Ann Darrow barely keeps her clothes on. Great monsters. Great music. Enough imagery to keep psychologists lecturing for years. A Kool flick that necessitated the creation of "A lot of new adjectives" upon its' initial release. "Tu wa saba Kong!"
The Koolest foreign films are those that clearly present a Kool "Flavor" that is unique to the country that produced the film. While there are TONS of Kool films made in other countries, many are just "Hollywood" films and retain little, if any, national "flavor" from their homeland. (Remember, Foreign films are always Kooler if viewed in their native tongue. Seek out subtitled versions, whenever possible!) Here are a few selections who definitely get their Kool from their culture...
HARDBOILED- 1992 - Made in Hong Kong, this cop saga contains the Koolest gun fights EVER filmed! A beautiful ballet of bullets and bloodshed is danced against the backdrop of triple crosses and subterfuges between the Hong Kong Police Force and the Chinese Underworld! This flick retains an Asian love of speed and motion. Near the top of the Koolometer. (Click here for a Kickin' John Woo web site!)
LA FEMME NIKITA- 1990 - Made in France, this flick oozes Kool. A murderous female punk is reprogrammed by the government to be an unstoppable assassin. Kool elements of this film have appeared in MANY U.S. films. In fact, the film "Point of No Return" is a scene for scene of 'Nikita'. Trust me, see the original! Slick Euro-Kool! (Click here for a Wailin' Luc Besson web site!)
What time in life requires one to be their Koolest, at all times? Yep, The High School Years! "Be Kool, or be cast out" seems to be the one unifying theme in each generations' High School agenda. The following films all deal with different aspects of the High School experience, from an era-specific Koolativity...
DAZED AND CONFUSED- 1993 - A hysterical look at High School Kool during the '70's! Also, an examination of 2 universal desires: 1. To be part of the class ahead of you. 2. To be back in High School, if you end up being un-Kool in the real world. 8-Tracks, Drugs, Vans, KISS and Bellbottoms were never Kooler.(until they were a memory). Kool '70's slacking!
From unstoppable peril to unbelievable creations, Horror films keep striving to outdo themselves. Each new film must present more terror, more gore and more outlandish plot devices. A true Kool Horror flick must retain it's creepyness as each new wave of Horror flicks come and go. Here are some truly Kool and Creepy flicks to check out...
FRANKENSTEIN- 1931 - Yeah, we all know the story. Yeah, we've all seen it before. But watching this Classic, uncut, without commercials is truly a Kool view! Creepy-Kool sets, Obsessed-Kool characters, Dwight Frye as Fritz and the Kool-Blasphemous idea that a man can be God! "It's alive. It's ALIVE. IT'S ALIVE!" with Kool! 
PHANTASM- 1979 - A low budget horror film that requires you to actually think, to follow the plot. A wild flick that features, Killer dwarves, The walking dead, An ominous tall man, Severed body parts that morph into bugs, An alternate dimension and the Ultra Kool This film creates an creepy atmosphere that is almost like the constant passing into, and out of, a dreamlike state. Kool cars, Kool characters and a Kool soundtrack all add to the Koolitivity of this great little classic! "You play a good game, boy. But the game is finished. Now you die!" (Click here for a Dreamy "Phantasm" web site!)
Fallible sleuths, Gorgeous femme fatales, Shady informants, Ruthless villains and a Mystery that can never be completely unraveled. These are the qualities that a truly Kool Mystery flick should contain at least some of. From the shadow filled 'Noir' films of the '30's and '40's, to slick updates that take place in the future, Good mystery films carry their own inherent Kool... 
BLADERUNNER- 1982 - Don't even start to think of it as Sci-Fi, this is a Detective story of the most elaborate order. Stunningly beautiful and very intelligent, this film layers its' images and story in a manner that lets the viewer unravel the mystery along with the main character. Kool sets, Kool characters. A true gem! (See the Letterboxed, Directors cut, if at all possible)(Click here for an Un-replicatable "Bladerunner" web site!) 
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS- 1991- A Kool nightmare of a mystery! A female agent follows the trail of a psychopathic serial killer, aided only by an jailed cannibal. As the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, the terror and anticipation grow in this brutal examination of contemporary detective work. Have a friend for dinner, then cozy up with a fine Chianti, and fall into this flicks Kool vision of mystery and madness.
It takes more than neat gadgets to make a Sci-Fi film Kool. The Koolest Sci-Fi flicks present their future visions amid new and alien societal conditions. These Kool flicks realize that technological change will force civilization to change as well, but through all this change, the human spirit remains. Check out these classics and see if they are, indeed, somewhat more than laser shoot 'em ups... 
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE- 1971 - A future society held at the mercy of the ultra-violence of its' delinquent youth. A chillingly realistic idea combined with Kool future speak, Kool sets, and a rousing rendition of "Singin' in the Rain". Fire up the Durango 95, head down to the Korova Milk Bar, then just sit back and let this flick unravel, 'real horror show'.
THE STAR WARS TRILOGY- 1977, 1980, 1983 - That's right, it's NOT just a laser shoot 'em up! It's an epic depiction of the strength of those who long to be free. It's an example of different races working together to achieve the common good. (How many Enlisted Imperials were Aliens?) It's Good vs. Evil. It's honor. It's loyalty. It's loss. It's victory. It's redemption. It's an experience that each generation should SHARE with the next. (Yeah, it's got alot of Kool ships, Kool shoot outs and Kool creatures too!) "May The Force Be With You"
Endless panaramas, Unlimited opportunities, Desperate people, Hazy lines between right and wrong. These are all elements that help make a Western, Kool. People usually associate western films with Stand Tall Heroes, Boring studies of Life On The Ranch, and families journeying to a New And Better Place. Maybe it's me, but I don't think it went down that way. For some reason I tend to think that the following films paint a truer picture of the race West. The race to rape the land, and grab all you can...
THE QUICK AND THE DEAD- 1995 - A extremely well done tribute to the Sergio Leone Westerns. A mysterious woman rides into town to enter a "Quick Draw" competition. Who is she? Why is she REALLY here? Who will be the Quickest gun in town? Kool action, Kool images, Kool characters, Kool nods to many Western cliches.
THE 'DOLLARS' TRILOGY- 1964, 1965, 1966 - "A Fistful of Dollars", "For A Few Dollars More" and "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". Oddly enough, these three Italian interpretations of a uniquely American culture are THE masterpieces of Western Kool. A Man with no name makes his way through the West with only one purpose; To acquire all the money he can! He is neither on the side of right or wrong. He is on HIS side, always. Through the three films Clint Eastwood plays a man who willingly enters unsavory situations because he knows that he has the skill and cunning to turn the conditions to his financial favor. To "The Man With No Name" the Civil War was something he freely entered into, not because of his ideals, but because it provided him with unlimited opportunities to make more money! Kool landscapes (see them Letterboxed, if you can), Kool music, Mega close-ups, All the tension of a shoot out and sweaty realism of life on The Range. (Actually, "A Fistful of Dollars" is an Italian remake of "Yojimbo", a Japanese film by the brilliant Akira Kurosawa. See that one as well!)(Click here for a Stylized Sergio Leone web site!)
The following films were reviewed in earlier editions of this page. Due to space limitations, the reviews and pictures have been eliminated, but don't let that sway you, these films are STILL Kool enough for you to investigate...