Just another day after school, I was at the bus stop again, and Joe drove by like usual and asked me if I wanted another ride home. I hopped into the car. It was a beautiful sunny summers day. He told me he had something to pick up at a friend's place and asked me if I wanted to go with him. I said sure because I loved the drives, in the summer. I rolled down my window to feel the warm breeze on my face. We chatted a little while and i noticed we were heading out of city limits. I asked him where we were going and he said we were almost there. i thought nothing and we chatted more.

Joe ended up stopping at an abandoned farm house or something. I asked what we were doing there d the next thing I knew he was all over me. I told him to stop and he did not listen. I somehow managed to escape from the car but I wasn't fast enough. Next thing I knew I was on the back of the car, and Joe started to rip at my clothing. He was careful though not to rip anything though I fought him with every strength in me. I could only scream and cry and beg him to stop. But to no avail. He ended up raping me and sodomized me. I had never been so scared and shocked in my life except for one other time (that to follow). Joe even had the nerve to drive me home. He threw me back in the car and said to just sit there and not say a word. he told me to fix up my face and not to tell anyone of this or he would kill me or have many others do this to me.

He ended up at my home and I got out of the car as fast as I possibly could. I had never been with anyone and that is not how I ever wanted things to end up. I was in alot of pain but managed to get into the house. I acted as normally as I could and so desperately wanted to tell someone. But I couldn't. Not because of what Joe said but because just a few months earlier, my Mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and I couldn't tell her or anyone in the family as they were all in shock, as I was, about my mother's condition.

So I have never told anyone. Not even to this day except for some close friends, but no family members.

My Mother was the greatest woman on this earth. She did not drink or smoke and totally lived for her children. My mother and I were so close, I spent many days sitting by her bedside and talking when she was terminally ill. She was so wonderful and always asked me if I was ok. She was dying but was worried about me?

It was the beginning of December in 1981, when I got a phone call at work. It was my sister. She went on to tell me that my Mother was at the Cross Cancer Institute and it did not look good for her. My sister just worked a block away from me, I ran to meet her and we drove there to see my mother.

As I walked in to my Mother's room, I was shocked at the way she deteriorated in such a short time. She was so drugged up that she didn't even know we were there. She couldn't speak, move or anything. I was so upset that I dropped to my knee's and begged God to help her. My family was there for a few hours and the Institute moved my Mother to a single room.

I noticed she had such a hard time breathing and all this was tearing my heart out, and damn it, there was NOTHING I COULD DO!!!!!!!! I held her hand for about an hour and watched her closely and each time i thought she wouldn't breathe again, I would squeeze her hand a bit. The doctor's came in and said they had to give her more drugs and we had to leave the room.
When we came back something just wasn't right and I yelled to my family that it looked like she was choking or something. I ran and hit the emergency button on the wall and lights started to flash and an alarm went off. The Doctor's came running but it was too late. My mother had died. It has been along time but I will never forget all the things that she went through during her battle with Cancer. I loved her with all my heart and the pain never seems to ease.  She passed away on December 4th, 1981. She was only 38 years old. 

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