1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". (Evidently, the shoplifter special)
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how. . . ?)
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (But it's *just* a suggestion)
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down". (Oops, too late!)
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (As night follows the day ...)
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save even more time?)
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(One would hope)
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to what?)
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (I gotta admit, I'm curious).
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
(NEWS FLASH)
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta).
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly". (I don't blame the company
I blame parents for this one).
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