To be uprooted from this existence in .. of all places, Ohio! .. and to be thrust into megalopolis Tokyo was .. to put it mildly .. a culture shock.  A film far, far into the future, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," (man, what a shock that movie woulda been then!) had a song in it .. "Let's Do the Time Warp," and that was how I felt.

Suddenly, and without warning, I was able to go into hitherto forbidden territory at age 15 and 16, and without even a military briefing officer (they were everywhere!) telling me what to expect.  I found out instantly, upon hooking up with the wrong .. uh, right .. friends (sorry, that's ingrained in me from a thousand lectures) just how much we could get away with in Tokyo.

It was surprising how many Japanese bartenders just could not tell the age of an American kid.  I heard from more than one, "Gaijins all look alike," and I made maximum use of that in a hundred ways.  My partners in crime in these nightime forays were "Covert" Carl, Red and The Voice (who had one .. for singing .. we used ours for utilarian purposes).  Never alone, even though Tokyo was .. and is .. the safest city in the world.

There were distinct kinds of bars and clubs we would frequent.  We probably started at the coffee houses, where there was no alcohol, but Japanese bands doing renditions of Gene Vincent and Elvis songs.  Regular Japanese jo-sans (the chicks!) would have nothing to do with us, since they were there to meet Japanese guys.  Given the strength of Japanese coffee, we would spend the rest of the night in hyper-alertness and chewing the inside of our cheeks.

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I recall that any one of the three main party areas .. Shibuya, Shinjuku and Roppongi .. housed 1,000 or more bars each.  Some on the street level, and some you'd have to walk up three flights.  I've seen some buildings with six floors, with a bistro on each.  Not much room in Tokyo.  A typical apartment, for example, has two rooms, besides the bathroom (benjo? I don't know): a kitchen area and the living room, which converted to the bedroom .. no waste of space there.  Same with the bars.  The higher you go, the lower the rent.

Most of the bars were like the coffee shops .. Japanese girls looking for Japanese guys.  A waste of time going there.  The places that offered the most promise were those with "B-girls," where the girls would try to get you to buy more drinks and buy them very watered-down versions of the same.  These bars catered to American GI's, who were everywhere.  They were looking to get drunk and get laid, in no particular order, as long as they both happened in the same night.  On occasion, these GI's would argue over the same B-girl, each believing she was madly in love with him.  A fight would break out, spilling into the street.  That's when the AP's .. or whatever .. would arrive, being conveniently down on the corner, looking for just that.  So, we were always on the lookout for the fuzz.  They sure wouldn't be confused over our age.  Service police blanketed those areas.  SP's were Shore Patrol for the Navy and MP's were Military Police for the Army.  And, of course, our own beloved flyboy Air Police .. the Apes.  For the Marines, I think, they had to call out Godzilla.

Surreptious and sneaky, that was us.  We even wore ties to confuse the issue.  The women in those bars were the most .. original, shall we say? .. in their attire.  Anything to get attention.  These women were not hookers, you see, not really.  They were there to attract male customers, and their outfits were sometimes just outrageous.  A pair of zebra-skinned pumps were conservative.  Some dressed in costumes that defied belief .. or good taste.  I remember one who was part-Asian, and part-black, and she always dressed like an American Indian princess.  She made up some Indian name, and tried to convince us that she was what she appeared.  We always went along with it, though, being the perfect gentlemen that we were.  Some, however, went absolutely overboard with wigs that could have garaged a Porsche .. and in the most interesting hues .. that would have sent fashion pundit Mr. Blackwell screaming incoherently from the room.  I always wondered if the lack of apartment space precluded the addition of a full-length mirror .. or were they just color-blind?  Of course, the fact that everyone gets beautiful at closing time didn't apply here .. they never close!  I mean, literally.  These places kept going until the dawn's early light and beyond, but I was never there to witness what happpened to Ms. Wig-san at that hour.

I do remember several places, though, that were thinly-disguised fronts for bordellos .. Horrors! The shame of it all!  You could tell as soon as you walked in .. how the women were dressed, how many sailors were there on a hot tip from their buddies and how we would get the major brush-off from ladies out to make a major buck on the evening, not just someone's allowance money.  The costumes the women wore there were much more revealing and invited ogling, if not exploration.  One particular standout was one whose tight, tight dress laced up from the thighs .. but not quite .. and she wore .. nothing beneath it.  That was one who drove the sailors crazy, so we deliberately kept our eyes averted .. when possible .. to keep from getting into a fight with the buzzcuts.  The "Bo" (the Bohemian), The Copa, the Queen Bee and the Happy Valley immediately come to mind, and probably some deep hypnosis (and years of therapy) would bring out the rest.  I'm sure none of these places made it into the '70s, but they'll always remain number one in our scorecards and number one in our hearts.

"As to bars, bimbos, booze, etc., my memories are (not surprisingly) rather vague.  I do remember that most of the bars were pretty dark, and probably for good reasons.  I do recall that The Bo was pretty small & and at the end of a short alley off a side street in Shibuya.  The B-girls there were not exactly knock-outs, even in the subdued lighting.  However, they made up for their short-comings by trying to be "extra-friendly".  I have pretty clear memories of one "honey," probably pushing 40, who one evening (for reasons I've never understood), kept trying to get me to come to her "aparto" after she got off work.  I would have, too, had I not made the tactical error of going back to the O-Club to exchange MPC for ¥¥ in order to buy her something (no idea what--condoms?  Booze?  Clothes?) she wanted.  At this point @ about 8:00PM, my dad strolled out of the bar & inquired as to exactly why I needed local ¥¥  as if he didn't know.  A long "heart-to heart" dialog ensued, & that was the end of my luv-quest for the nonce  Don't remember why now, but I never did manage to hook up w/that honey again.  Still regret it.  I'll have to think for a while re: rememberances of the other  places we haunted.  They all seem to be kinda a blur in my memory.  Probably  due to those Sloe Gin Fizzes?  Speaking of them, do you remember the bar where we first had one?  It was Club Ricky.  Not in Shibuya or Shinjiku, but I don't remember exactly where.  It was rather small & they had a pretty good modern jazz group (trio?).  It was owned by a Japanese professional wrestler, Ricky Dozan, who spent most of his time working in the US.  I recently (within the last year) read somewhere that Ricky was actually an ethnic Korean who eventually ran afoul of the Yakuza & was murdered by them 10 or so years ago.  Strange shit, huh?" (Ed. note: Indeed, Carl, indeed!)
"PS - Remember singing 'She Ain't Got No Yoyo' w/ the B-girls?" (Ed. note: Nope, but hum a few bars, ask the bartender for another round and I'll sing harmony.)

(Ed. note - update from Carl on this song) "The song, 'She Ain't Got No Yo-Yo' - That was the GI transliteration of the real Japanese title, 'Shina No Yoru'.  The English title is 'China Nights,' although I'm not sure that's a direct translation.  I'd bet my left nut that you'd recognize the tune in a heartbeat if you heard a few bars.  They played the damned thing in almost every bar we ever went into, & the B-girls always tried to get us to sing along with them.  I used to (more or less) know some of the lyrics, but don't anymore.  They must have imprinted on my brain due to pure repetition whilst under the influence of Asahi, Kirin, or whatever.  The song was, from what I've heard/read a real blockbuster 'Hittu' in Japan for a number of years; kinda like 'White Christmas' was here.  I think that it was written in the late '40's(?) by a guy who had served in China in WWII, but I've never seen/heard an English translation of the lyrics, so I've got no idea what the song says.  Knowing the Japanese, it's probably something along the lines of  'All Chinese are garlic-swilling &*#@%$*  who richly deserve to be castrated.'  Fascinating shit, huh?  Or not.  Funny what your brain retains over the years." (.. ummmm, uh, OK, thanks, "Covert".. I think .. you recall the weirdest things!)
 

"I think that 'China Nights' pre-dates the late 40's.  It was said to be a song written in the late 30's to encourage Japanese soldiers to volunteer for duty in Manchuria. The words of the song extoll the beauties of the evenings (and girls?) in China, so maybe this is correct.

My favorite bars were the Queen Bee, (which you mentioned), the Green Door (somewhere in Shinjuku - I could never find it unless I had already had more than enough Nippon Beer) and the Transistor in the Ginza area (all the girls there were less than 5 ft. tall)."

What's your favorite bar/joint memory of Tokyo?  E-mail your story .. your name not required .. but ..  you can rat on your buddies, if you like!