Japanese TV Goes Psychotic
To say television has changed in Japan since the 1960s is like saying
Godzilla is a lizard. It's understating the case just a bit.
The Japanese TV producers have taken the absolute worst in American
TV and pushed it to the limit. You thought our TV was trash? Then
you haven't been to Japan in a while.
Imagine the tastelessness of a Jerry Springer TV show, the weirdness
of pro wrestling and the crass greediness of a daytime game show, with
large doses of nudity thrown in. Japanese TV is a never-ending
succession of human torture, fart jokes, big breasts (on Japanese women?!)
and just plain grossouts .. but it's also hilarious.
Just a taste of what you're missing by living in the Land of the
Big BX:
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In this game show, a grandmother has to answer questions
about pop culture in order to prevent her grandson from being catapulted
into the air by a bungee machine. Mama-san doesn't have a clue who
Backstreet Boys are. The audience gets to enjoy the man screaming
"Grandma, Graaaandmaaaa!" and the old woman bowing in apology just before
he is launched hundreds of feet. This guy's clothes were torn off
when he was sent into the air. |
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"Puroresu (pro wrestling) Fever!" - three or four skinny
little Japanese 90 pound weaklings fighting hulking, foreign professional
wrestlers, the loser getting thrown either onto an electrified plate or
a mat covered in a very sticky glue. |
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A show called Super Jockey, hosted by the infamous
Beat Takeshi, in which people with products to promote (usually beautiful
women) play a game where they have to change into a skimpy bikini before
a curtain drops which will reveal them if they haven't finished changing,
and then they have to sit in scalding hot water. For every second
they manage to stay in the water, they are allowed to promote their product
for one second! |
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The human star. A brave man turns himself into
a human star (?) for his children!!?? Just look at the terror on
this guy's face! Do they actually cook him to twelve million degrees
Kelvin? You'll have to go to Japan to find out. |
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Four very brave men playing "Guess what's on
your head!"- a game show in which contestants try to guess what type of
insect or reptile is crawling around on the top of their heads. The
contraptions they are wearing are supposed to keep the creatures somewhat
under control. Somewhat! Yes, that is a live scorpion
on the right. Sooooo .. wanna play? |
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In this country where the men have kept the women subservient
for a thousand years, this is a favorite. This is a male-female boxing
bout. In the left photo, the man in purple trunks (r) is going to
show the woman (l) just who is the boss. Andy Kaufmann!! Are you
watching this?? In the right photo, the referee is pointing to the
man on the floor and asking if he's knocked out. "No!" the man replies,
"it's just a substantial blink!" The woman was a kick boxing champion! |
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"I feel like there's an ambulance driving through my
body," says the young spokesmodel, as she imitates the sound of a siren
in this commercial for the Japanese snack food Balance Date. Why
is her leg in the air? What does the ambulance have to do with the
snack? Maybe something is lost in the translation, like .. anyone
viewing it. |
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This is a kind of Japanese "Candid Camera" show, but
the situations tend to be more bizarre and more dangerous. Take this
one. This poor man is supposed to be going to a meeting and is told
he will be walking down an empty street to get there. He is suddenly
confronted by a hundred screaming people who came at him as if they were
running for their lives! The guy nearly had a heart attack! |
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"Pardon me madam. Might I fondle your breast?"
The winners of a big bust contest appear on the Super Jockey show which
airs on Saturday and Sunday afternoons! (My black bar, not theirs.) This
is regular TV, not cable. |
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The loser of this game show had his body covered in
butter and then licked clean by three dogs inside a cage! The Marquis
de Sade is alive and well in Tokyo. |
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"Psycho TV
from Japan" is an actual video of all these goodies, and you can order
it through the company at: videoint@jb3.so-net.ne.jp
These photos &
copy were forwarded by an anonymous Army Sergeant, who discovered them
on Ed Jacob's Quirky
Japan Homepage
devoted to the bizarre, the
weird and the eccentric of today's residents of Old Edo. Thanks,
Ed, for letting me use these.
© 1999-2004 Jazzbo