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CATNIPPERS

Homepage of the CompHealth cats!

"BAM BAM"

"Let the Games Begin!"

He is as lustrous as a shimmering midnight moon. His ebony glow, rich and velvety, gleams with sleek clarity. I find myself talking in tones one sometimes uses when speaking to an infant. I spend a good portion of my waking hours entertained by such a fascinating creature whose only sound may be a mouse like squeak.

He has the actions and responses of a ferocious wild beast loose and free to roam about his jungle. Stalking, charging and pouncing on anything that dares to get in his way. He can be passive, yet mischievous and continually unpredictable. He is always in my path, as if he were on a chain. By calling him with a sound, similar to one used when herding a mighty steed, he is by my side. Unexpectedly, he takes off running about the house like a race car darting in and out of obstacles. Then leering from within a doorway, his tail rises, his back elevates, as if he were a dragster at the starting line, waiting for the second he will bolt into action. Soaring like a preying bird, he bounds up and over the mountain of a chair, across my lap as if I were a rock, chasing something only he can see.

He is back! Eyes big as stars, slowly he creeps toward me never losing sight of his prey. He moves as if a venomous sidewinder with his back arched, and his tail lifted. Meticulously, he takes every step carefully, so as not to alert his victim. Then suddenly leaping in midair he reaches for whatever limb I've left carelessly unattended. Contact! He has me; there's a scuffle; I'm down, my hand buried deep in the depths of his barrel like stomach. Quickly, I withdraw my arm from the jaws of the would-be predator.

I'm free! I regroup, assessing my wounds. I move cautiously, knowing very well that I am still within his reach. He watches me, never letting me forget that he is monitoring my every move. He has retreated, a savage beast savoring his triumph. For now, I feel safe to move about my domain. I sit and take a deep long breath. It's over for now, and I must evaluate his next move.

Perched upon my bed I shut my eyes and lower my head. Suddenly, my lids fly open and staring back at me is this bat like creature, on his back and lodged tightly under the bed using it for a cave of protection. Amber eyes filled with cheerful malice are looking back at me and I know that with my next move once again it will be time to let the games begin.

O.J., Sam, Odie, Cassie

(Clockwise from top)

Odie is 13 yrs. old, weighs 15 lbs., has very few teeth because they were pulled when he had gum disease, and recently we had him treated for acne on his chin. His favorite pastime is to smack us on the head in the morning when he is demanding to be fed, and biting our fingers if they stick out from the covers. My husband carries a picture of Odie in his wallet but not a picture of his wife, and he has a wonderful story to tell of how he helped deliver baby Odie. HIs most embarrassing moment was when he sat on the edge of the cat box when we hadn't filled it with enough litter, and the whole box tipped over on his head. And on occasions, since he's so large, he will sit on the edge of the box, stick his butt in the wrong direction, and pee down the wall. Odie also has huge round paws with an inch of white fur sticking out between his toes.

O.J., which stands for Odie Jr., is the son of Fluffy, Odie's mother, and Odie, who can rightly be accused of having the Oedipus complex. O.J. is now 12 years old. He is very skittish and will pee on you if you scare him. We were having a party once and he escaped from the basement, where we lock our children when we have guests; he was so scared that he peed all over my husband's mother when she caught him. He is all black & gray striped but his mark of perfection is the tiny spot of pure white fur on one of his front legs. He is also very loving, and if he gets on your lap, you will be there for the rest of the day.

Sam is the result of reverse trick or treating. One Halloween night, a little girl knocked on my door to inform me that my kitten had gotten out. Sammy is the queen of phony injuries. Twice we have taken her to the emergency vet, and $115 later each time, after having acted like she was going to die, there was not a damn thing wrong with her. She is the most friendly and loving cat you could ever have. Every morning I wake up with her little furry arms wrapped around my neck, and she is purring and drooling all over me. Yes, I said drooling. When her motor starts running, she drools like a dripping faucet. My husband has repeatedly accused her of ruining our sex life because he wakes up to a drooling cat between him and his wife every day. She also sucks on my earlobe and has given me hickeys from licking my neck so hard when I am sleeping. She is now about a year and a half years old.

Cassie is from the local animal shelter. Since we had two old cats and one young and annoying cat named Sam, we decided that we should even things out with another kitten so Sam would have a playmate. When we first got her she was so tiny you could hold her in the palm of your hand; now she is almost a year old. Shortly after we got her she had an eye infection and ringworm, but she is fat and healthy now. She loves the other cats to a fault, esp. O.J., and her way of showing affection is to head butt or leap on top of them. She races around the house like the road runner, and likes to run around naked after she takes her collar off, then runs through the house with it in her mouth. She's also a kleptomaniac. You can't leave anything lying around or she'll take it. She can hear you open a loaf of bread a mile away, and if you turn your back for a second, the twist tie is gone. One time we left a gold necklace sitting on the coffee table and the next minute she was running down the hall with it in her mouth.

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