Weekly Poetry/Poetics Commentary by Bob Grumman


Week Fifteen--11 May 1999

Silent But Deadly, Number 10



"Manhattan Deli," by B. Z. Niditch, to start with the poem on review that was easiest for me to work out, is a nice journalistic evocation of . . . a Manhattan deli. I like its comic touches, particularly the contrast of the priest's concern with his salvation against his appetite for dessert. I have a few questions, though. How does the narrator know that the priest is concerned with his salvation? Or is praying for personal salvation the main use of worry beads (about which I know little)? And who is the "witch?" Whoever she is, characterizing her as a witch is too dramatic to be left unelaborated on, I think.

            Ma nhattan Deli
                (July 1996)

            Two elderly Jews
            argue over the menu
            a transvestite
            in a red boa, named Claire
            takes bread
            from the counter
            an Orthodox priest
            with his worry beads
            is concerned
            with his salvation
            two dolls
            drop from the lost
            and found
            an art student crosses
            out his Miro puzzle
            and makes a Friday date
            with Claire
            the couple feeling faint
            take up their walkers
            by the skate board boy who
            murders his donut
            and fortune cookies
            left by the witch
            who cannot spell
            "suffering
            and the priest
            helps himself
            to another dessert.

The next-easiest poem for me to negotiate was "forest green," by Laurie Calhoun:

       artificial christmas tree            mixed salad leaves
       brought out, assembled          stuffed by diced
       by elves, the shells                  bell pepper
       of people walking                     an old cotton sweater
       the wrong way down               an algae-filled lake
       a worn-out conveyor               the bible
                                                           belt

This poem shows talent but doesn't quite come together, for me. It concerns various (forest) green things, most of them negatives-- but the Bible belt isn't green, is it? And what does the salad have to do with the decay and nullity the other images suggest? Most important, why is this standard small wasteland that's described worth a poem? The poem needs something fresh: a new twist of words, an unexpected metaphor or two, a novel use of some poetic technique, traditional or burstnorm--something out of Jonathan Levant's poem, "domesticated devil," in fact:

   so i put the wife's panties into the typewriter and wrote my head off
   so she had a clogged boob which yours truly unclogged with elaine (?)
   so what if the intimate details told and revealed themselves oh boy!
   so i never think what kind of writing i'm writing as i write it ah
   so this must be oriental authorship since it partakes of the dawn (!?)
   so so was a way i rarely felt though feelings often played me false
   so plunger in hand i ran to my wife's side and helped her out per usual
   so ber dionysus is not half the god he used to be just ask ariadne
   so ciety does not like word cheats like me who say it as it weighs
   so heavy on the hearts of all of us althoughmostly unacknowledged
   so would i stoop to the level of using a dictionary to fill a page
   so have i assimulated so much that nu has become the anglo enlish
   so which is a sort of action that farmers or birds do to seed if the
   so called bird's belly may be referred to as a belly (of the blast baby)
   so as i was saying am i not a man among words a name among stones
   so ur dough is something atavistic and job like in basic toughnees in
   so lid endurance of the eyes who can see throughall tears at all times
   so rghum will lead to sore gums and molasses morass of misery
   so w which might be said as double u who can understand his readers?
   so nnet to double the ens to the enth degree and graduate some laundry
   so ck hops for instance which go into the best beer which is all horse piss
   so mbreros for the rabbis in the legends of such actual & real wanderings
   so lving all problems in all lands to the disgust of all authority
   so lo is the surest song not relying on any other musicians or voices or strings
   so he went on too long with that line so like sue him already
   so lstice a time i remember oh so well having been married and un
   so literied the day before the winter solstice (which is what this
   so ng mangling boy remembers rather than that date wince the
   so lstice does not always fall on the same date as an astronomer)
   so vereign over all the verbs i use i'm further than foreign from you
   so ldier as you are in the armies of the twilight and the prose
   so on the soot of the sooth sayers shall cease to soothe & we shall settle for
   so crates who was always my first choice (the chosen sage oh yes)
   sp [hia in plain terms unmade up but very carefully order on occasion
   so rties against the ignorant inspired as the first brotherly flight
   so urce of such wisdom being handed on through me what am i to do?
   so ck eyed locks were a pleasure one anarchis summer in akron
   so s. is what i request this soigne swine ya know guy who works in
   so many soiled soggy soft words that he loved in his sonic life

Levant's poem is nuts, of course--one of his inimitable jump-cut streams-of-consciousness/ misconsciousness popping back & forth from Ancient Greece and earlier to his wife, or from sound to sound, or word-play to word-play, or who-knows to what-say. At times it comes too close to silliness, as at the two spots with parenthesized question marks and in the "so rghum" line, and can certainly be accused of being too slapdash, arbitrary and impulsive. But Levant's stooping "to using a dictionary to fill a page" gives his poem structure, and the zestful largeness of the mind he's working out of unifies its tone. And he even knits the poem's end back to its beginning with "soiled soggy soft words that he loved," which links to "the wife's panties." "Soiled soggy soft" also brings the "so"-words into a nice swoosh that ends a little further along in the penultimate word of the poem, "sonic"--perhaps the most apt "so"öword to conclude his word-salady journey through such words with.

What really makes his poem for me, though, are the infra-verbal "accidents" that occur, such as "so lving" with its suggestion of "so loving," "so living" and "so leaving," all of which make interesting sense in the context (line 23); and the Circe that I found in "so urce," four lines from the bottom; and the weird revelation in "so vereign" of "foreign" in line 30. I thus rate this poem a good one. I rate Ficus's similar sort of blur similarly. It's apparently an untilted excerpt from a longer piece:

          eased eary eaty warm smell of
          crayons worm.hell health hang
          hotsauce Gin glebryousness ag
          hangin, jugs au jus(tify) mind
          tressa sucjdler kkk hot twaddle
          entranced tranks trncheon dole
          dollar dollar dollar $$$ hither
          gls give der cum hither glans O
          mighty penis, mightier dan D
          sward d'Greenery Och! d'moily
          de moilay knights O'cunnilingus
          frothy blut der razorWire frots
          appenile senocoaterie mundie O
          pang lust wat anchor ites UFO a
          dare a fumerole door flavorited
          darkener dongle flattened as
          ads taken in Scotch.glasses or
          pealed belse orpimentally susd
          freer than a bustedangle kleptof
          can't irk le Roi d'anchere endre
          popcarnality RIO! savoir fairy
          slavering hung fault.hiders age
          cremains hit the still hot sill
          boundary conditioning Papua NG
          RepeTITtitTITtiti on OO aureole a
          clod day a dane in great Hell's
          grate fate tradeed ducting foral
          soralens carcinogens psyche as
          wee winos whine a rugratatat an
          ecydasiast slaps shit on a pillO
          formen maf magnum dore dour be
          my ancient ankh mined from mind
          psillery tranter elephary front
          heavin' scent...

Again, there's much risk of silliness but the poem's Joycean inventiveness more than makes up for that: "belse" for "pulse" and "bells," for instance, and "heavin'" for "Heaven" and "heaving." Actually, this poem is quite unified as an evocation of drunken lust--with "RepeTITtitTITtition" beautifully smashing a center into its careen. There's a LOT here that I have no grip on, like "orpimentally," but most of the "microherent words," as I call them, suggest enough to tease rather than put off--"sucjdler," for instance, speaks of sucking, suckling--and, with its absurd "j," of juice (albeit very mixed-up)--but also puts a "soldier" ever so slightly into the picture, to set up the later image of knights, who suggest musketeers, to me, and make the thing Falstaffian. . . .

John M. Bennett's poem, of course, gets the prize for difficulty. Those who keep up with his company's press releases to Newsweek, though, will quickly pick up on the central technique here: the fragmented mirroring of the first half of the poem with its second half, "STARE relapse" marking the poem's center. Thus, the first word prior to that point is "you," while the first word after it is "your." "place" then brokenly mirrors "plate." Three words aren't mirrored, or mirrored very clearly, but then "wave's jackedoff moon" echoes (in reverse) "tune jagged wave." And so on, with inexactnesses, and mirrorings other than auditory ones, like "marking-stick" for "sign," a semantic echoing. Here's the poem:

          sign nature)) "claw" stems slide of gravel toward the
          lake face eye's upwellings off the bar (hand) heaves
          inside your shoes' tall blemished side (recalled in
          tune jagged wave like's key's inversion-plate you
          STARE relapse, your place sheathes that cogging wave's
          jackedoff moon or tooth (inside) the burnished
          shoe knee's side coughing (heaving, far-off swells')
          eye's crusty gate your gravel bed beside the stream,
          falls (marking- stick your

Ah, you want to know what the point of all this is? It does at first seem a little dotty, a kind of over-artful cleverness to no real aesthetic end. But so ALL innovations in art at first seem, and perhaps even ARE. But then their values start showing, if they have any, and this one definitely does. Here's what I so far claim for this technique, as used here: that it suggests a landscape mirrored in a body of water, which fits the text; that it suggests more exactly the way we really perceive things, not with blindness until sudden complete identification, but in a kind of jitter from one mistake to an opposite mistake until some kind of synthesis of mistakes is made (along these lines, I find the technique particularly effective at dramatizing the quiver of heightened perception of a Central Moment in the protagnist's experience); more abstractly, the technique demonstrates how much existence consists of waves.

Once justified, as it is for me, the technique allows Bennett to make intricate theme-and-variation moves; and half-give us a picture, and withhold the other half, or near-half, till later. So he doesn't cheat us, just makes us work--which, of course, should increase our delight when the halves come together. It also allows him to spin huge distortions off his images, as he does in a multitude of other ways in this and others of his poems--distortions that sometimes seem irritatingly arbitrary, but more often seem brilliant--as, here, when "tooth (inside)" distorts "in tune," which suddenly makes one aware that "in tune" might mean not just "being correctly tuned," but being inside music. All kinds of things like this are going on in this grand vibration of a poem, and in most of Bennett's poems. He shivers from incomplete but telling approximation to incompleter but tellinger approximation, and invariably overshoots his scene--to compose a world.



Next Commentary

Previous Commentary

This Department's Home Page


Return to Comprepoetica Home Page








.

.

.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page