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COULD IT BE TRUE? MARILYN MONROE'S DIARY?

Marilyn Monroe's Lost and Forgotten Diary?

There is some discussion in movie circles and elsewhere about the existence of Marilyn Monroe's diary, reportedly with red covers and lined pages. There are even pictures of some pages photographed and published in biography books about Marilyn Monroe. For reference and to make it easy for the reader there will appear when comments that could be by MM are made. Actually, there are some 59 sets of eyes used and they are all Marilyn's eyes at different stages of her career and different times of her rather short life.

What happens if you click on the book cover shown below? You will end up in the Amazon.com bookstore. Best you bookmark this Quester site before you go any further, right?

I sure don't know who I am, but I do know who I ought to be.

So life goes on. On stage there is a key light. When you hit your mark you are aglow and alive. If you miss that mark even by inches your body may be in the shadows. It may even be in the dark unseen. It may look as though you aren't even there! Some people live their lives slightly off their mark. It's great when someone finally finds their own key light in their world.

Oh yes, I must confess I was born at a very early age.

Jimmy told me some more blonde jokes that I'll add to my collection. They certainly beat out the ones Dino sent over. Glad Jimmy is around or there would be little sun in my life. Did get some new pictures of the children Jane and Bobby. Haven't been sleeping well lately. Where is that doctor with his bag of pills? I keep asking myself, "What makes you think you have a right to be happy?"

Living a life of noisy desperation.

Well, here I am. Loving blonde jokes and at the same time hating them, I find myself obsessed in their collection. I wonder what this says about me....

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat, so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his flashlight and says "Open wide."
"I can't," replies the blonde. "The chair's fitted with arms."

A blonde went to a grocery store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."

"Does he use the ball kind?" enquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

A young blonde woman is asked out on a date and accepts. The boy picks her up and they go to a nearby carnival in town. They ride a few rides, play a few games, and seem to be generally hitting it off well. During a sort of romantic lull, however, the boy says, "What do you want to do now?"

"I want a weigh with you," she says.

Well, OK, thinks the boy. They walk over to the fortune scales, and weigh her. They play a few more games and stop for foods.

"What do you want to do now?" asks the boy again.

"Still want a weigh with you," she says.

Hmmm, a little odd but I'll put up with it, thinks the boy. Again they get her weight and fortune.

After yet another few games and exquisite fireworks show, the boy repeats, "What do you want to do now?"

"Same thing. I want a weigh with you," she says.

Damn, thinks the boy, she's just too weird for me. They get her weight and fortune, and the boy drives her home.

As she walks into the house, her sister asks, "How'd your date go?"

"Wousy," says the girl with the strange speech impediment.

It was my 36th birthday and I was escorted out on the baseball diamond at the stadium at a benefit game. Wore my fur-trimmed outfit and almost broke a heel running. Told Paula to put those treasured words of my big guy in a safe deposit box for safekeeping. Doggy has been chewing on my white terry-cloth bathrobe again. Think he likes my smell.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?

A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."

The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?"
To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your penis?"

Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on her.

DOCTOR (Taking up his stethoscope): "Big breaths."
ADOLESCENT BLONDE: "Yeth, and I'm not even thixteen."

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself, "Oh well !" and turned around and drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said, "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES" By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

You sit alone. It's night outside. Automobiles roll Sunset Boulevard like an endless string of beetles. Their rubber tires make a purring high-class noise. You're hungry, and you say, 'It's not good for my waistline to eat.' There's nothing finer than a washboard belly. Models ache to have such a thing.

How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.

A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's license please?"
"Driver's license? What's that...?"
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that...?"
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes unzips his pants, which the blonde sees and exclaims: "Oh no, not another Breathalyzer test!"

Husband: We must not spend so much money.
Blonde wife: What can I do?
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", and then we could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well, if you would learn to service me properly we could do without the gardener.

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!

Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.

Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.

Blonde: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

One can almost get by without a hair stylist, but I certainly wouldn't want to try. George is so great with my hair that I wish I had known about him when I first got into picture making. They also know the latest of what is going on in Hollywood and elsewhere. They also know hundreds and hundreds of blonde jokes. I find this so remarkable. George should write a book!

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore."

She swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try and get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out.
The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, and NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?

I was never used to being happy, so that wasn't something I ever took for granted. You see, I was brought up differently from the average American child because the average child is brought up expecting to be happy.

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said,
"Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep continued arguing until thirty minutes later they were both killed by a train.

The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees.
"That's not the problem, Ma. I can do well in bed and even better than the best of them, but he says I can't cook!"

A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes. "Do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes later, she reappears at the car wash yelling, "Who ripped off my car phone!"

Last night I went home to my blonde girlfriend, and told her I was going to screw her brains out. Then I realized it a lost cause and much too late.

Question to a blonde-- what is long and hard? Her answer: Grade 4.

What is the definition of gross ignorance? 144 blondes.

What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties? Clitty litter.
What is a blonde's only complaint about oral sex? The lousy view.

Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Bought terrific new furniture down in Mexico and am eagerly awaiting for it to be delivered. Some might think it heavy... I think "clunky" is the word that they would use to describe it, but I think it is primitive enough to be romantic. It fits my new house exactly. The mirror is truly Mexican. Only they know how to box it in with slanty little pieces of mirror cut into triangles and set to reflect light in all directions. Yesterday I hung a rug on a wall with Chac mool figure woven right into its middle. The figure was part of a sacrifice ceremony, probably rather bloody going back to the Aztecs or Incas. I'm waiting for someone to say, "Oh that's the Mayan god that held the ceremonial bowl they used for cutting the heart out of virgins. That's when I'll say, "Mayan Virgins jumped into wells, dummy!"

Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? Because they can't even keep two calves together!

What did the blonde say to the physicist? "I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"

Did you hear about the blonde couple that was found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the winter".

Bobby told me I should start keeping a notebook and writing things down so I could keep track of the news better. What with what the Russians are doing with Cuba and how we almost had a nuclear war over their missiles I can understand why. When I went for a weekend in Reno I did hear talk about some low-life types maybe working with the CIA and providing Castro with some poisoned food or cigars or some such thing that would solve a lot of our country's problems. When I asked Bobby if that was the kind of current event news I should write down he frowned and said that it might not be such a good idea and maybe I better not leave my diary around for anyone to see. Maybe I should just stay with collecting dumb blonde jokes. That might be a lot safer for the president, for him, and especially for me. I could see his point. So on with the blonde jokes.

Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

What is the definition of the perfect woman? A deaf and dumb nymphomaniac blonde whose father owns a bar.
How would a blond punctuate the following? "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? It swells at night.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks, "Where did you get that?"
The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

HOW DOES A BLONDE PREPARE FOR SAFE SEX? She puts on rubber-based lipstick.

What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? Locking the car door.

Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test? Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur within 5 miles of home? She moved 10 miles away.

What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.

Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

There was a blonde and a brunette who were about to commit suicide. They both jumped off a building and some seconds later the brunette hit the pavement, but not the blonde. What happened to her? She got lost.

A guy asked his blonde wife, "How did you get the car in the living room?"
She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."

Someone asked if a blonde believed in smoking. She said "Yes, I've seen it done."
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them.

Two blondes are in a dark theatre:
BLONDE #1: "Hey, the guy next to me is masturbating!"
BLONDE #2: "Just ignore him."
BLONDE #1: "I can't. He's using my hand."

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said, but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter.
Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..."

Did you hear about the blonde that went to the library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? When she got back to the dorm, she found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia...

A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!"
"I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"
A blonde walked into a hardware store, picked up the hinges she was looking for, and went to go pay for them. The clerk asked her, "Need a screw for those hinges?"
"No, but how about a blow job for the shovel in the back?"

BLONDE #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
BLONDE #2: "No, who wrote it?"

Did you hear about the blonde mom who kept an icepack on her chest to keep the milk fresh?

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun; - they just don't remember who with.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"

Did you hear about the blonde bride that was so horny she carried a bouquet of batteries?
What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Steve Allen really has a sense of humor. I've forgotten where this one came from but he is a likely suspect.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply, "but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

Did you hear about the blonde who:
-had more on her body than on her mind?
-was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?
-took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
-got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
-was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?
-had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?
-thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?
-was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?
-after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
-went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
-brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
-thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
-thought that a sanitary belt was a shot from a clean whiskey glass?
-thought that intercourse was a state highway?

Attended the Golden Globe Award Ceremonies. Rock Hudson was always very gracious to me even though he use to laugh at the antics of another blonde called Diana Shore.

<"It's embarrassing, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
"Gee, what are you taking for it?"
"Black pepper."

Click here to go forward to page 5 of this site. Some more surprises. Could this really be Marilyn Monroe's Diary? Some people say she was just going for it! Yes, go and see for yourself. Questers are always open to something new. Their quests are most important to them. Some cyber reality, huh?

Click here if you would like to see a collection of recent books on Marilyn Monroe including a lot of interesting bookcovers. They are a good representation of what is being researched and found about the real life story of a great screen legend. There will be ways back to the diary but it wouldn't hurt to bookmark about now. We are associated with Amazon.com and they have great prices on these works.

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