Cerita Kedaikopi  # 22 :25th March,1999
 
 

The place: The Hanging Tree Restaurant,Edgware Road,London

Time:15:30 GMT

Three middle age men were seated to a corner table facing the road.One is 80% covered with white hairs, the other is about 10% white hairs and the last but the oldest among them is 100% black hairs(actually false hair implants).Man#1 is a Malaysian who is a PR and stayed in London since 1974.The other two 'young men' are Malaysians who got nothing to do in KL,so they went to London for their annual sabbaticals.

Man#1: How is life back home?
Man#2:Well,it is full of virus-they call it JE.That is why I am here this week-to run away from hot weather,hot politics and hot virus.You are lucky to stay in London,every weekend is a family holiday to Europe!
Man#1:Lucky?In this stinking English weather?It was showers this morning and now it is bloody hot and last night it was freezing.We may not have JE,but we did have mad cow disease!
Man#3:Some people here are also mad-with men wearing earrings and green and yellow hairs.
Man#1:Here you can be what you want,even man can marry another man.
Man#2:That is great.How about ladies?The lastest news I heard 50% of children born in UK are illegitimates. By there year 2020,when we Malaysians become a developed nation,UK will be a nation of bastards!
Man#3:I may not live to Vision 2020,but I am afraid we may be a nation of robots developed by MSC.
Man#1:Correction-it is a nation of cultured bastards.Btw,where have you been the last few days?
Man#2:Oh,I have a great time-roaming the Oxford St.,Regent St. for bookshops.Yesterday,we went to Portabello Rd. for cheap antiques and cheap cuppucino.Btw,I have one complaint:There is no toilets in the shopping complexes along Oxford St.
Man#1:There is one at Marks & Spencer at the basement.
Man#3:Soho is not like those days,not as wild as before.I love the old days....
Man#2:We are not young anymore....
Man#3:Who said we are old,my hairs are are still black.

Everyone laughed and started drinking their Earl Grey tea with scones they ordered earlier.

Man#2:Two years ago,I bumped into Malaysians at every shop along Oxford St.Now,it looks like we are the only Malaysians in London.
Man#3:This is a real gawat.We came by SIA cheap fair and stayed at B&B 40 GBP a day.For lunch,we can afford only sandwiches.
Man#1:Those days when Malaysian economy was booming you guys have high tea at the Ritz Hotel for GBP 23.50 per person.The worst thing is that I was not even invited.Anyway,I will be paying for this cheap skate afternoon tea.
Man#2:It is quite normal.Only when we are in trouble then  we look up for our real friends to help us.
Man#3:My business back home is bad.I'm really serious about coming to stay in London and works as a night porter.When I was student,I used to earn extra pounds on weekends working in a bakery.Btw,how much do they pay per hour?
Man#1:GBP 3.50 per hour.
Man#2:I think I 'll work in a bookshop here.Not only you get good pay,you can read books for free and have Seattle coffee while reading at Book.etc .
Man#3:But then,I will miss my teh tarik and nasi lemak.
Man#1:In that case,you can come to my house for breakfast tomorrow.
Man#2:No thanks.I am going to visit The Dome that cost GBP 758 millions at the dockland area.The span of the Dome is 350 metres!
Man#3:Me too.I'm taking my daughter shopping.
Man#1:Is it true that Malaysia is the World No:3 exporter of pork?
Man#3:Well.....we have 3 millions pigs.Isn't that great!
Man#2:But we still import rice.I hate talking about this stuff.
Man#1:Ok..ok.Let's talk about politics.
Man#3:I'm fed up of it.Let's go for a walk;the weather is fine and we can see more beautiful girls outside.
Man#1:Waiter...can we have our bill please.
Man#2:Thank you.