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beginning with "O". Things Orlando are: Manic Street Preachers if they didn't think Motown was junk, The Smiths if they didn't think disco was vile, Dexy's Midnight Runners if good old Kevin believed in romance. Another thing Orlando are (oh, YES!): the (New) Best New Band In Britain, and by several horses heads. DICKON is 24, painfully polite, always vexed and into Northern Soul. He looks like a Spitting Image puppet of himself, with a space-age blond geometric side parting. He carries himself with a certain nobility. His birth certificate says "Richard Edwards." (When he opened a bank account recently and gave his profession as 'songwriter and guitarist', the bank rang back, under police instructions, to check that he wasn't the Richard Edwards.) Last night he dreamt that the only survivors of a nuclear war were himself and Jarvis Cocker, who had survived by hiding in the wardrobe, and the two of them had to find a way to continue the human race. He never swears. When something really bad happens, he says "sugar". His favourite pop single is "Someday We'll Be Together" by Diana Ross & The Supremes. Book: "The Music Upstairs" by Shena Mackay. Film: "0! Lucky Man." Cafe: Continental on Archway Road. "£2 for double egg, chips, beans and a cup of tea. He is obsessed with perfection. Songwriting. Timothy Mark is "not telling, oh Dickon, we're to be 22 and 23!, surpisingly aggressive, into swingbeat. His extraordinary equine teeth are outshone only his eyes, which appears have no lids and are always boggling. He is literally so skinny it hurts. 'When you sit down, you're so bony it's painful. There were loads of things I couldn't do at drama school. loads of roles involving rolling around. He has worked as a funeral director but is a thespian at heart. Pop single: "Wichita Lineman" by Glen Campbell. Book: "Pardon Me, You're Stepping On My Eyeball" by Paul Zindel. Film: "Gregory's Girl". Place: "Sleepy Dorset villages. Because l that's where I'm going to end up. And the locals will go, 'Therrr's thaaat pop starrr again...' He has the voices of Boy George, Shirley Bassey, Dr Robert, Dusty Springfield, Marc Almond and Dionne Warwick. Singing. Do you have rules for living? Dickon: "Yes. I try to keep life as simple as possible." Tim: "I am obsessed with self-discipline. With being tidy, and punctual, and clean. And I like it. Because they're qualities that I find attractive in other people." Do you punish yourselves when you break them? Tim: "I try to forgive myself, but only after I've corrected the fault." Dickon: "But exerting your own discipline upon yourself is always better than having someone else's forced on you." Tim: "I used to hurt myself. Not in a Richey/mutilation way, but just punching myself to stop myself reaching a certain emotional state. TELL me about the Orlando Nation. Dickon: "It's a name I give, perhaps out of vanity, to people who are on the same cultural, intellectual level as us, most of whom we haven't met yet. There are people around who are waiting for us. They just don't realise it. Some of them may not like Orlando at all, some of them may be honorary members who have been dead for hundreds of years. I've never felt at home in this nation, and I do like the idea of belonging, so I decided to create my own. I stole the idea from Nation Of Ulysses and Huggy Bear and various other horrible Everett True-type band. If anyone wants to be part of it, they already are. It's one massive, mutual fan club, and it's out there since before we were born." Tim: "It's an extension of the world you create when you're stuck in your bedroom, with your records and your books and pictures. It's like having an invisible friend, or an invisible gang." Dickon: "We often see brilliant people hanging around in completely the wrong company, and it's because they haven't reached us yet. Remember that girl you saw with those crusties?" Tim: "No, that was just me being a typical male. Which is a portion of my psyche you'll never understand." Dickon: "School is a terrible idea. It puts you together with all these people you don't have a hope of getting on with, and says, 'Right, sort it out.' I'm sure there were members of the Orlando Nation there, but I was too busy getting 10/10 in my spelling tests." LAST year, Orlando released a one-off single under the name Shelley on the moribund Sarah Records, "so that they might have a release to be proud of in their final hour". A monologue by Dickon, "Reproduction is Pollution (SARAH 98CD) is a merciless assault on the 'instinct' for procreation. "I was walking down Oxford Street and thinking, Would anyone really want to add to this amount of people on earth. Also, they don't know what their child will turn out like. People are either victims or oppresors, either a done-to or a doer. And there's lots of bad stock about. The people who breed are never the ones who should. They aren't adding, they're diluting. There are lots of interesting, intelligent people ...and they're all celibate. There should be a war between people like us and people like them." Orlando in Nietzschean outburst! Can you look at yourself in the mirror naked without cringeing? Dickon: "I never, ever look at myself naked." Tim: "I do, but not without cringeing. It's pretty nasty. Can you look at each other naked without cringeing? Tim: "I've never see Dickon naked. I wouldn't want to. All bodies are horrible naked." Do you think you're ugly? Tim: "No. I think I'm strange, but not ugly." Dickon (no hesitation): Yes. But do you mean ugly as opposed to attractive? You can be ugly and attractive. I wouldn't want to speculate on whether I'm attractive or not. I try to be presentable. That's the best I can do. It's trying to bring hope to the people to whom the word 'titivation' means having a breast operation." I laugh nervously, and look it up later. Tim: 'We are the skeleton band. We are bony. It either involves hard work or deprivation, and both are true of us." Dickon: "I think we're pretty sassy." YOU'LL be getting letters. Dickon: "I do, and I love it. I'm very flattered that people put so much thought and pain and confidence in both senses of the word into it. The joy of seeing a handwritten address on an envelope." But it's a huge responsibility. For every one who just wants to have sex with you, there'll be another who wants you to stop them killing them "Actually, if I meet someone like that, I say, 'But it'd be such a shame: you wouldn't have heard that song on the radio today, or met me tonight, you silly fool!'" Tim (sarcastically) "You'd be great. You should join the Samaritans. Actually, if somebody wants to talk to me, I'm always flattered that they've chosen me to talk to, even though they just want somebody to talk to." You're an unpaid social worker. Dickon: "Caring about other people is different from listening to them. Tim: "You don't care, then? Dickon (pause): "No. I know I'm on a different level to most people. I don't think I'm above everyone, I think I'm below everyone. I really do. I envy other people . I think there's something deeply wrong with me that they don't have. If I hate them, it's because they're better than me. Orlando. A soul band. |
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