Computer terms as defined by rural Texans


        Compiled by Thom Monticue

        Log On: Making the wood stove hotter
        Log Off: Don't add wood
        Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove, y'all!
        Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup
        Megahertz: When you're not careful downloading (watch the toes, y'all!)
        Floppy Disk: What you get from piling too much wood
        RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work
        Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season
        Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season
        Windows: What to shut when it's 30 degrees
        Screen: What you need for black fly season
        Byte: What black flies do
        Chip: What to munch on
        Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone
        Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around
        Modem: What you did to the hay fields
        Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife
        Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
        Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
        Software: Plastic eating utensils
        Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn
        Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up
        Port: Fancy wine
        Enter: C'mon in
        Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks

        © 1997 peyton2@flash.net


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