All right! It's going to start to get not so happy from now on ^.^  Please, keep sending comments!     Kaoru and Die plopped down onto the a couple chairs in the studio, anticipating the long day ahead of them. It was the first of many concert walk-throughs, the first time all the activities for each song were to be announced.     The leader glanced over to the other members, wondering what it was they were all laughing about over there. Every now and then, Kyo would glance up at the couple, then back down, laughing again. What made Kaoru really suspicious was the fact that even Shinya was grinning, Shinya who was usually so aloof and inexpressive.     Toshiya, like his usual loud self, exclaimed to Kyo and Shinya, "Haha, it looks like Die's eating him!"     Die and Kaoru immediately shot each other concerned glances, wondering what was up with the three that they didn't know about. Slowly, the red-haired man stood, walking over behind the other three to see what was up that could possibly be so funny and make Toshiya exclaim things like that. As he gazed down between them, Kaoru saw him turn bright red, looking very embarrassed.     Nervous, Kaoru asked, "Okay, guys, what's going on?"     "Uh, Kao-chan, you should come see this, ne," Die told him, still blushing.     "Waa, no, I got it for a present, let me bring it to YOU, leader-sama," Kyo declared. Pretending to be sappy, he added, batting his eyelashes, "When I saw it, I thought of you." He pranced over to Kaoru, slapping the object in his hands down onto the table in front of the purple-haired man.     A supermarket tabloid. Kaoru's face reddened immensely as he red the cover. "Secret Life of Dir en grey Leader." The cover showed him, surrounded by grocery bags, in the grocery store that day.  "Shit!" he exclaimed, picking the thing up and flipping through it until he found the wonderful feature on him. Glancing over the article, he read aloud, "Kaoru has obsessive eating problems? Dir en grey leader actually homosexual? What the?" The others just snickered as Kaoru's panicky eyes finally landed on the photo of Die passionately kissing him in the parking lot.     "Woo-hoo, I wonder what THEY did when they got home!" Toshiya said behind a hand, still loud enough to be heard by everyone, though.     The lead guitarist just stood up, clenching the horrible publication in his fist. "Th-this is shit!!" he declared. "Die-chan!!"     Die just looked utterly embarrassed, muttering, "Heh, oops. ^^;;"     "Way to go, guys, that's real smooth," Shinya said quietly. "Just make-out in public."     "Th-there were circumstances!!" Kaoru insisted, burying his head in his arms on the table.     "Yup, two horny guys who can't wait to even get back to their apartment before screwing like mad!" Toshiya just HAD to put in his input.     Sighing, Kaoru got back up, just stating, "We'll pretend this didn't happen. We'll carry on as normal. We have a concert to walk-through, anyways!"     "Oh, they'll never hear the end of his," Kyo whispered to Toshiya.     "I heard that Kyo.. .." the purple-haired man growled.     "Heh, heard what? ^^;;" He shut up for the rest of the time.     They began their concert practice after moving all of the furntiture in the room to the sides, making the floor as wide as possible. Kaoru pulled a small notebook out of his pocket, opening it to the first sheet. "Okay, the first song is going to be Raison D'etre, okay?" They all nodded. "So.. .." He proceeded to go step by step through each of their activities.      Die watched in anticipation as the fanservice was put in place. He hated fanservice, mostly because he never got to be with Kaoru. Kaoru was always put with Toshiya or somebody else, and he had other band members shoved on him, but he'd never gotten to show the crowd how wonderful he and his lover looked together. He hoped for all the world that Kaoru had made sure to get some in there.     "And Toshiya, you come over to me now, behind me, and put your face here, next to mine," Kaoru announced, beckoning for the bassist to come over. Toshiya came, sliding up close behind Kaoru and resting his chin on his shoulder. "No, no, our cheeks have to be touching," the leader corrected, moving closer to the blue-haired man's face.     Die hated watching these parts, watching his Kaoru have to do fanservice with the other men. He wondered if Kaoru felt the same way seeing him with the others. Turning his eyes away from the scene, he tried to cover his jealousy.     Song after song went by, and with each song without the fanservice Die wanted, his hope got slimmer and slimmer. He was pretty much left out of most of the fanservice, actually, only making physical contact with his band members twice: once with Toshiya rubbing up around him and once with Kyo wrapping his arm around his shoulder and using the same microphone. He also went back to visit Shinya at his drumset once, but that was it. Other than that, he was the back-up guitarist, alone on his side of the stage. A knot of anger and sadness began to form inside of his chest and he tried with all his might to keep a happy expression on his face, but he could tell from the worried glances Kaoru shot him that his cover-up wasn't working very well.     The last song. Schwein no Isu. The red-haired man's heart picked up it's pace as they began, wishing, praying, hoping that this song would be the grand finale, the glorious meeting of lovers. He looked away in disgust as more Toshiya and Kaoru fanservice was put in place, as Kyo paid a visit to Shinya, as Toshiya's neck was kissed by Kyo. But no move was made to put him with Kaoru. Die felt like sitting down there, and just crying, though he felt weak doing that. He felt as though someone was stomping all over his heart, ripping it in two.     "That's all!" Kaoru exclaimed, plopping breathlessly onto the couch. "Nice work, guys."     "So we can go home now??" Toshiya asked eagerly, beginning to put away his bass.     "Yeah, it's been a long day, let's call it quits."     "Yay! C'mon Shinchan!" the basssist exclaimed, easily pleased.     Shinya just sighed and packed up his stuff, walking out with his lover.     Stealing a glance over at Die, Kyo noticed how unusally dark he seemed. He went over to him, joking, "Yo, Die, don't sweat the tabloid, ne!"     "What are you talking about?" the red-haired guitarist inquired seriously.     Kyo knew something wasn't as perky about Die, but he decided to leave him alone about it. "Oh, never mind. Uh, I'm going now, see ya tomorrow!" He left the studio quickly.     Now that he and Kaoru were alone, Die turned to him. "Kao-chan, I wanna talk to you."     Kaoru just smiled at him, asking, "What'd you think of everything?"     "That's what I want to talk to you about."     "What do you mean?" Kaoru asked, knitting his eyebrows together.     Sighing, Die asked, "Why was there so much fanservice with you and Toshiya? And none with us? I'm neglected the whole time!"     The leader got up off the couch, walking over to the frustrated man. "Die-chan, I know you don't like fanservice, right? So I didn't want to put to much in with you involved! I thought that's what you wanted!"     "Well, it's different with you and me!" Die insisted, looking away from Kaoru's eyes. "I don't like to see all of that with you and Toshiya!!"     "Are you jealous?" Kaoru inquired incredulously.     "Yes," Die admitted, pouting.     Kaoru just slipped his arms around Die's middle, comforting, "Why should you  be jealous? You know I love you! You know I'd never be unfaithful to you! I don't like Toshiya like that. Besides, he's got Shinya."     Die didn't respond, just stuck his lips out a little more to make his pout more convincing.     "And I'm not the one who plans the fanservice, anyways, it's that concert planner. But if you really want more fanservice with you, we can put it in, I'm sure. Do you want that? I just thought that because you didn't like fanservice.. .."     "Ah, gomen, Kao-chan. You're right, I don't like fanservice, thanks for thinking of that," Die told him, trying to convince him that he felt better, although a small part of him still felt neglected and sad.     "Mm, I'm glad you feel better. I hope you're not upset, ne," Kaoru replied, pressing himself against Die's chest and closing his eyes.     "Not at all."     "Let's go then, I'm hungry! Wanna go out for dinner?"  he asked, taking Die's hands.     Smiling down at him, Die nodded. He tried to push all the bad thoughts, those jealous, lonely thoughts, to the back of his mind and just concentrated on the divine presence of his beloved Kaoru by his side. To Part 10 What'd you think? Hate me? Like me? Let me know please! Totchi_Lover@yahoo.com