Where else would she have been? Kevin had to laugh, despite the grim circumstances, that he hadn't thought to look for her in the one place she knew he'd always be if there was trouble. Stepping quietly out onto the deck, he stared at her soaked form, crouched in a corner. Without saying a word, he walked over and sat down beside her. Her hands were shaking, and she was staring blankly ahead of her. She didn't acknowledge his presence, even when he reached out and took her hand.

A few minutes passed, and finally Kevin felt that he should say something, anything, to break the absolute hopeless look on Brianna's face.

"Nick called. He's on his way home, Brie. He left a message on my machine," Kevin said softly. She looked away from his questioning look. "Brie, talk to me."

"There's nothing to say, Kevin," she declared, standing up. She began to pace around, agitated. This surprised Kevin a lot, it seemed out of keeping from the sadness that had been evident just a few seconds ago.

"Tell me what's going on in that brain of yours," he entreated.

"There's nothing. Absolutely nothing, Kevin," she cried out hysterically. Kevin jumped up and ran towards her, grabbing her arms, pulling her close to him.

"Hey, Brianna. Look at me. Talk to me," he said. There were tears in her eyes, but she didn't seem to be crying.

"I feel like I'm dead. Like there's nothing in me at all, not sadness, not anger, just…nothing. I feel dead, Kevin. All I want to do is curl up into a little ball and listen to my mother tell me it's all going to be alright, but I can't do that, and I'm just so alone and Nick…" she trailed off, her lower lip trembling. Kevin pulled her close.

"You're not alone Brie, you really aren't. You have me, and as soon as Nick gets home, he'll be here too," Kevin reassured her.

"There's so much going on, and all I can feel is nothing…nothing at all. And it's scary. I'd rather feel the pain," she said softly, gazing off.

"I should go," she said, walking towards the end of the deck.

"What are you doing?" Kevin asked, grabbing her arm as she struggled to get away.

"You don't need me around right now. I'll just bring you down," she said, shrugging his arm away.

"No, you don't have to go anywhere," he said.

"Why not? Why do you want me around, Kevin? Huh? I'm just an emotional wreck of a heinous bitch who keeps getting in your way. I'm a girl who honestly thinks that there is nothing left for her and who can't even hold on to her best friend the day she looses her mother! What is there left that you could possibly want to be around?" she half-screamed, crying. She turned to run, but he caught her, and turned her around, with her arms beating on his hands the entire time. He took one look into her eyes, and saw the despair and it broke his heart. He couldn't stand to see her so weak in death's shadow. So he did the only thing he knew that might help her.

He roughly pulled her towards him, in a moment of impulsive desperation, and kissed her. All of her fury and despair, kept so far at bay, was suddenly released in that was one endless minute. As she pulled away, all of his excuses and apologies were silenced as she reached for him in response, her fury forgotten in the need to feel something, anything at all. And then he knew the only thing he could do to help. Forgetting his excuses and apologies, he followed his instinct. And he made her feel alive.

* * * *

And then the morning comes. Isn't that what they always say the morning after something stupid happens, and the realization just doesn't set home until the next morning.

And then the morning comes. Brianna sat on the chair, and watched Kevin sleeping, the soft morning light streaming through the window. While she had always joked about finding him more attractive than Nick, she had always thought that he was good looking. But now she knew the truth. Now she knew he was beautiful.

And she had used him. No one could deny that, not even the girl who lived in a world of self-delusion. She had used him to make herself forget, and for that, she could never feel the same around him.

She felt like a slut. Never once had that happened to her. She had never felt that ashamed of her actions before. Shivering slightly, Brianna looked away from him. He had been such a good friend to her through everything, the best friend she could ask for, and what had she done?

Creeping out of the room quietly, she scribbled a quick note, and after rounding up her things and her puppy, she left the house silently, too humiliated to even say goodbye.

* * * *
Dear Kevin,
You know that impulsive streak that I'm famous for? Well, it's set in again. I'm off. Don't know where I'm going, or even why, but I start school the second week of September, so I'll be back in my apartment by then, if you need to reach me. I need to go, I hope you understand.
When you talk to Nick and he explains, you'll understand what happened. Please understand.

Love Brie