I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Brianna cursed herself and Kevin one more time, as she carefully climbed up to the roof of her mother's house. Her high heels, one clenched in each fist, and her panty hose torn to shreds on the trellis, she imagined the sight she'd make if she were stopped by the cops. It was, after all, Kevin's fault that she was in this get-up, and that she'd left her keys at his house, in her hurry to make it to the wedding on time.

"Who else needs to break into their own house?" she muttered, as she wrenched open the window to what had been her room. As she climbed inside, she was more careful this time to avoid the gaping hole in the floor. Finding her way in the dark, she made her way down the stairs, into the foyer. Standing in the moonlight streaming in from the skylights above her head, Brianna sighed in relief. Try as she had, she couldn't stay away from the comfort of her home, despite the frightening state it was in.

Her heels crunching under shards of glass, she walked around in a circle, breathing deeply, hoping to clear her mind. It had become a cloudy, confusing mess, and she wasn't sure why. All she knew was that she felt like someone had stuck a knife in her stomach and was twisting slowly, and it had all started the moment she had seen Kevin and Miriam enter the reception hall together. The mere thought of that memory had her pacing around in circles, in frustration, anger and some unknown emotion she was too afraid to put a finger on.

Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

She had ran, she had to admit that. She needed to sort out her thoughts, she had to get over whatever it was that was bothering her. Kevin, in the past months, had become more important to her than anyone else other than Nick had managed to become, and she was terrified of losing that. It was worse than when she had found out about Nick's impending engagement. It was ten times worse. Nick; while always a friend, she was now aware that she could survive without him. But Kevin…she wasn't sure if she could face the world without his steady reassurance and the infuriating way he constantly challenged her.

This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back
To the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

He had been running, hiding from it for too long. In denial, he supposed. Unwilling to face the complications and the consequences if he were to actually admit it to himself. And now, watching her pace around in the moonlight, completely enraged, he wondered how he could have ever been so blind. In such a short time, she had become to him everything Miriam could never be. Nick said she was leaving, and that thought, the idea that he might have to go home one night to his big empty house, without her; her energy, her contradictions, the annoying habits that drove him nuts, was absolutely terrifying to him.

But how could he say that to her? The one night they'd spent together was indelibly etched in his mind. He couldn't get it out of his mind, as hard as he tried to ignore it. It was driving him mad. But she had made her feelings very clear to him when she hadn't been there the morning after. She just didn't feel the same way.

Kevin gave himself a mental slap across the face. Of course she had left. She had just lost her mother in a horrific manner, and felt abandoned by someone she thought was her best friend. He probably would have done the same thing, no matter how he felt about the other person involved. She had just needed time to sort things out. He hoped. Either that, or she was just using him to "feel alive" again, as she put it. It was about time he found out which it was.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream

Brianna heard a click as the front door opened, and the footsteps as someone walked into the hall.

"Alright, Kevin Richardson, I really need to find out why it is that you can always get in here, when I have to climb in through the window. That hardly seems fair," Brianna said without turning to face him.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked. She could hear the surprise in his voice.

"You have this annoying habit of knowing what I'm going to do, even before I do. Stop it," she demanded.

"I don't always know what you're going to do. You can trust me on that one," Kevin assured her.

"How else would you know that I'd be here?" she asked, turning around, arms gesturing out, indicating the building that once had classified as her home.

"You said you needed to get away from that mess for awhile. You're the only person I know that would run away from one mess to an even bigger one," Kevin laughed, softly. He walked forward a bit, entering the circle of light streaming in from above, so she could see his face.

"I hate it that you're able to do that. It drives me nuts. I can have no spontaneity when you're around," Brianna complained.

"Why did you leave?" Kevin asked softly.

"Many reasons. Where's Miriam?"

"I don't know, at the wedding, I suppose. Nick invited her months ago, and I just ran into her on my way into the hall. It was pretty awkward, as you can imagine."

"She made it seem like you two had come together, that you were thinking about getting back together," Brianna said, surprised at the accusatory tone of her voice.

"Yeah, I heard about that. I'm not in love with Miriam. I never was. I suppose that was the problem all along," Kevin said.

"I don't understand. Explain." There she went again, always challenging him, forcing him to answer and explain everything she wanted him to.

"I thought that it was something that you'd grow into. You know, you start off for awhile and everything is so great and new, you're infatuated. But then there comes a point where that infatuation either dissolves, or it becomes something more. That's the way I used to think love happens. But now, I think it's just something that happens. You grow into it so slowly that you don't even notice, until you wake up one day and realize it. It just hits you," he explained. She was pacing again.

"How do you know this? Can't make a statement like that one, without backing it up," Brianna said, pacing again.

"Because it's happened to me. I just suddenly knew, more than anything else, that I was in love with her. It just hit me, like a ton of bricks falling on my head." Brianna felt the knife in her stomach twist even more. He was in love with someone. Anyone. It was the Nick situation happening all over again.

"How did you know? I mean, what makes you so certain that it is love, and not just infatuation?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Come on, Brie, haven't you ever just suddenly realized that you're in love with someone?"

"I don't think I even know what love is. Fuck, take a good look at my life!"

"Brianna…" He stepped forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. She buried her face in her hands, and groaned.

"I don't want to do this tonight, there's just too much going on in my brain," she said, turning away from him.

"Like what?"

"Kevin…" she warned.

"C'mon, Brie, let it out, it'll help you sort things out. You love to vent, don't hold back now," Kevin smiled. She stood with her back to him for a few moments, her head hung low. Taking a deep breath, she turned back towards him.

"What is there between you and I?" The question hung in the air. Brianna could hear her heart pounding, and was sure he could hear it as well.

"I don't know," Kevin answered. A heartbeat passed.

"Well, good," Brianna spat out. Kevin's mind was reeling. What had he said? Why did he say that? He could have told her!

"Good?"

"Yes, good." Brianna was pacing again, clearly agitated. "You know why it's good? Because for the longest time now, I've had this sinking feeling that you and I were becoming good friends, and I just can't take having a new best friend. I mean, I finally break free of that disgusting codependency on Nick, why on Earth would I want to start that all over again, especially someone who annoys me as much as you do?"

She spun away from him. Kevin, shocked slightly by her rant, but amused nevertheless, stepped forward. And he laughed.

"You're laughing at me? Don't laugh at me!" she yelled, turning around to face him again, her eye absolutely blazing with her rage.

"You don't depend on me, Brie. You got your own thing going on, you have for awhile. You're just too caught up in the way things were, and it makes you blind to what's going on now," he said.

"So you're laughing at me, and calling me ignorant!" she exclaimed.

"Not ignorant, just too hung up on your history. You need to realize that no matter what has happened, it's the here and now that make the difference in your life," he said.

"Wise words from Kevin fucking Richardson, consider me blessed," she spat out.

"Why are you getting so upset?"

"Why can't you understand why I'm so upset?" she demanded.

"You're impossible, I don't even know why I bother," Kevin yelled, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't be so impossible if you didn't go out of your way at every turn to make it seem like I mean absolutely nothing to you! Just the permanently screwed up little sister you never had or wanted. Well, I have news for you, I have enough fucking older brothers, I have enough best friends, I don't need or want that from you, so you don't have to pretend anymore. I'm going home tomorrow, for real this time, and you'll never have to worry your pretty little head about me ever again," she raged, pacing back and forth. She dared a glance at Kevin, who looked as though she had struck him. His green eyes suddenly turned cold, she burst into tears, and ran away from the deconstructed living room, and out the patio door, into the back yard.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream