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The Onyas: 1991?-

Interviews/Articles -  There will be more soon!

Gray, Denis, 199-?, 'The Onyas', Vicious Kitten Magazine, Issue 5
They're loud, rude and rock like no one else !
    They're from sunny Brisbane and have cut the strongest album to come out of the Queensland capital since The Saints’ first effort ! They're called The Onyas - and they have finally released their debut album !! Mad Mack (guitar, vocals) Stanners (bass) and Jaws (drums) are three fun lovin’, beer swillin’ Aussie blokes with a thirst for loud punk who are strongly unified on their global, search and destroy mission.
    ‘Get Shitfaced With The Onyas’ is the most punishing slab of punk you'll hear all year and that's a fact. Fuck Green Day, silverchair or other such puke. This is the honest brutality your grey matter’s been yearning for.
    Forming in early 1991, The Onyas found themselves virtually gigless with no one up north wanting to touch ’em. Prominent Melbourne rock identity Bruce Milne had his talent goggles on and spotted the noisy Onyas a while back - resulting in a deal with Au Go Go.
    They’ve cut several quality singles (mostly o/s releases) which are well worth tracking down. Their split seven incher from ’94 (on Destroyer) with fellow Brisbane-ites Big Bongin’ Baby deserves a mention, as does the feisty, fast paced ‘Beergut’ from two years back. The good folk at Canada’s Lance Rock Records have pressed a couple of singles and more recently, 1+2 Records from Japan and Spanish label Rock n Roll Inc. have been serving the cause. So kids, are you on the lookout for something fresh, something slightly warped, something you can win lots of friends with ?!
    ‘Get Shitfaced With The Onyas’ is the album you need. It is a full throttled trip to delirium crammed full of thug-punk highlights. ‘Weapon’, ‘Jaws Is Legal’, the melody trimmed ‘Now It’s Gone’ and the frenzied ‘Real Tight Arse’ are all sonically-revved, whilst the blazing Mad Max inspired ‘Night Rider’ is damaging in every sense of the word.... and yes the Toe Cutter knows who you are ! The three chord onslaught of ‘I Love Girls’ is skull splitting stuff, whilst the healthy sense of humour which this band possess, is clearly obvious in songs like ‘Mrs. Deagon’, ‘Storm Boy’ and the simply delightful ‘Hit By A Tram’.
    The band toured Europe in mid 1996 to positive reviews and also managed a couple of Spanish dates with Jeff Dahl. The Onyas are currently on another o/s jaunt, burning it up across America and Europe - a tour which included stints at New York’s CBGB’s and Coney Island High back in April. The guys then head back to the unofficial rock capital known as Spain, before winging it home via Japan. No time for Mack, Stanners and Jaws to swill some beer and put the feet up either, as they are strongly rumoured to be touring Australia in July with The Cosmic Psychos and the Melvins !
    You’ve been warned......

Robertson, Dougal, 1998, 'The Onyas - The Tote', Inpress Magazine
Here it is ... ugly rock'n' roll at its raucous most delicious and overt best.  The Onyas are the stage heroes, three Brisbane boys made bad from Bracken Ridge way ... if you haven't seen 'em its sweat, semi-nudity, loud, loud, loud and nasty all the way.
Seen 'em?  Maybe you hate 'em, but fence sitting isn't an option.  Trace a line from X, through Bored, the Psychos and the Powder Monkeys and you'll come to The Onyas, then wonder how they get away with songs like How Old's Your Sister .
    This is crazy, rock antics, pick the cliche as we get guitar playing behind the head, no need for banter between the blitz.  Drummer Jaws is the focus, holding the thing together as it threatens to fall into a huge mess but never does, staying razor sharp - solid touring with the likes of garage nutbags Los Ass-Draggers giving a lesson in showmanship.
    Richard resplendent in trademark sunglasses is unintelligible at the mike as is his wont, the bass pounding through the crowd with its primal urge.  Richic Ramone taking the stage and taking on vocals ... and the encore . . . Tim Hemensley appears from nowhere and bashes out songs The Onyas always wanted to play backing band for. This band is possessed, taking on the rock ethic with more irony than a fair sized bucket can take.  They're peaking folks, and the whole shebang will probably collapse in twelve months - that's the way music should be ... live for the moment and beggar the consequences.  All hail The Onyas.  Self-indulgent? Who?

Tauschke, Steve, 1998, 'The Onyas - "Six"', Beat Magazine.
Excuse the bad cricket puns but Brisbane's brawny brothers The Onyas, who once wrote a ditty called "Keeper Healy' and whose management is endearingly called Full Toss, take a slog on this the follow up to last year's blazing 'Get Shitfaced With The Onyas' and it's no surprise to see it's cleared the fence and gone ten rows back.  Recorded in Europe between shows nearly a year ago, "Six' is a dozen track give-a-fuck punk rock record . lmagine the Dictators, the Saints and the Devil Dogs rolled into a falafel and served with garlic sauce.  Songs with bad breath sure but catch a whiff of the likes of the Chuck Berry-style stomper 'The Last of the !Atope!  Sticks' and you'll be better for it.

Tauschke, Steve, 1996, 'The Onyas - Onya Cobber', Beat Magazine.
Brisbane bruisers The Onyas are back in town for more sultanas. Steve Tauschke dialled an Onya and found Mad Mack off the sauce and on the phone.
Beat: How do you reflect on recent gig with the Sex Pistols?
John: "In hindsight it was just another gig. It was a bigger gig, not one we're used to playing cos there were all these these professional-type people involved. It was exciting to play with your idols."
Beat: The Onyas prides itself on its unprofessional approach doesn't it?
John: "Well, it depends on what you describe as professional but yeah, I  would have to say we are pretty unprofessional. When we tour we don't have our own gear or anything we're flat out having gear for our own shows half the time. There's no real goal at the end of the day for us besides having a piss up on a Friday night And instead of being in with the crowd, you're up in front of the crowd."
Beat: It's been a while since you recorded the 'Shitfaced" album. Have you done anything since?'
John: "Yeah, we did a wad of songs last April, or March, or around that time. We did seven songs and they've come out as singles. Four songs came out on a single for Man's Ruin, a San Francisco label and two came out on a Spanish single that just came out two weeks ago. We did four originals and four covers and 1 think they've-nearly all been used up.'
Beat. What covers did the band indulge in?
John: "Um, oh shit! Um, we did 'Motherfuckin' Motherfucker', that Bored song. We did Lies, the Saints song, for a Japanese compilation, but I don't know if that ever came out. And we did a Birdman cover for Ritchie from Au-Go-Go's Birdman compilation where he was trying to cash in on the Birdman reformation..But 1 don't think that one happened either (laughs). Oh that's right there Was- another cover 'Shut Your Mouth' which was by. what's the hand called? Johnny Demon and the Devils or Johnny Devil and the Demons or something. 1 dunno. They're an old Sydney band."
Beat: Who else was supposed to he on the Birdman comp?
John: "New Bomb Turks, Teengenerate, um, you'd have to ask Ritchie, he's the one putting it together. ..Ritchie's the one at Au Go Go with the beard, or he did have a beard. He looks like Pat Todd (lauughs). He's a really great bloke! He plays cricket!"
Beat. Will all those songs get a CD release here one day? John: 'I donl really know. 1 don't really give a rat's arse where they're released or if they're released at all. 1 see having things put out as a means to an end, the end being playing gigs. And that's what 1 like to do. The rest of it, 1 mean 1 don't mind making up songs sometimes or whatever but I'd rather just play live, t hat's the thing 1 like doing most in the whole rock n' roll business.'
Beat: On the topic of singles, I'm surprised The Onyas haven't done a split with your close cousins Big Bongin' Baby.
John: "Well there is a split single from quite a while back that we did together and th'ere were only a couple of hundred copies. It was the first thing we actually put out on vinyl. There was a tape before that."
Beat: You went to Europe with Cosmic Psychos fast year. Will you be going back?
John: "As I understand it, we're going to the States in three weeks, that's if I can find my passport, and then we're doing a month in Spain. We're doing four shows in Texas, two in New York, one in Philadelphia and now one in Arizona. Just for a couple of weeks!'

Tauschke, Steve, 1996, 'The Onyas', Beat Magazine,
Beat: You just played with the Sex Pistols. Any interesting backstage anecdotes to share with us?
Richie: "Well, we went back-stage, well not back stage but to this  big dining room (at Festival Hall) and there was this sea of faceless industry clucks just all sitting there, horrified by our presence.  And they were just all sitting around with dainty cutlery completely unaware of what was going on right under their noses. But they had their little social club happening with all this food and the caterer said to us, "Go for your life!" and their were fuckin' T-Bones everywhere and chicken schnitzels and sea perch fillets and the big promoter walks past and says "Hey, you cunts aren't supposed to be eating, you're not catered for". I mean you wouldn't believe these T-Bones, just full size steaks marinaded beautifully - fuckin' excellent food! Anyway I'm there tucking into the last of my plates and he comes in and tells us to clear out. We made some smart-arse remark so he said he was going to dock us $15 a plate."Later on we got kicked out of our room 'cos they had to use it for glamour shots of Glen Matlock. Anyway we never got to meet the Pistols, but that was our first foray into the music industry."
Beat: You also toured Europe with The Cosmic Psychos recently, you must have drank yourselves silly.
Richie: "Yeah, basically! It was pretty full on. (Cosmic Psychos) are not actually as big drinkers as everyone makes them out to
be... They have got to the age where they know to pace themselves but when some members of the touring entourage were on the floor, (the Psychos) always managed to be on their feet by the morning. We weren't used to having all this alcohol thrown in front of us for nothing. So, like little kids in a lolly shop, we went overboard. "But the tour was fuckin' great. No-one had ever heard of us but it was like playing little clubs in Brisbane except on the other side of the world.... And the Cosmic Psychos really got off on being the parental, the paternal Godfathers of the scene. They've got no kids except for one of them so they had to play Daddy to someone and so it was us for a couple of weeks."
Beat: You once wrote a track called Keeper Heely. Is that right?
Richie:"Yeah, thats (guitar/vox) John and its a really old song we wrote in 1991/'92. There's an incredible old backlog working its way out. But we haven't played stuff like that for years."
Beat: Tell us more about Get Shitfaced with the Onyas.
Richie:"Well, we did that record down in Melbourne a couple of years ago. It's 12 songs and by our standards, we're kind of past it, we're not playing much of it. So we tend to think its not so hot but when you look at the standard of most other stuff you see around, I think, well, it's probably the only decent record to come out of Brisbane in fuck knows how long."
Beat:  You remind me of the Poppin' Mommas
Richie:"We're a lot better lookin' than them... We played with them once in Geelong, years ago. We came down with Big Bongin' Baby, another Brisbane band who we've pretty much done three quarters of our gigs with. It was good fun but I don't remember much of that night. It was so long ago!"

'Head to head with our Fax', 1996, Forte Magazine.
Fax To Fax with The Onyas
The Onyas is a strange band and we have the feeling here at Forte that perhaps the band doesn't take itself very seriously. Of course, we could be wrong...
What is the most obscure record you own?
Guns 'n' Roses Appetite for Destruction CD - An underground thrash punk combo out of LA who dealt with sexual Politics, and offered challenging insights into the roles played by women in their relationships with men. Basically, if they put out all the time, we'd get along swell.
What was your most unusual gig?
With an old Brissie band called Devil Priest and the Nun- Stabbers at the Kedron Grande Aussie Rules Club, August '91. . About our fifth gig - they played to about ten people, we played to three (they went home early). Par for the course for us in Brisbane, but John ordered a pizza to the clubhouse coverea in jalapeno hoping that no one would want any, but we all ate it anyway. It tasted like shit, and put a strange slant on the evening for all of us.
What is the stupidest song ever?
Most of our s are pretty hot contenders.
If there was a movie about The Onyas, what would it be called and who would it star?
"Acock-a-lips Now", starring Bambi Tenderthigh, Candy Opening,  Lucy Lottacock, Trans Anne, Randy Longbar, Rod N. Tackle with  Jugsy Jiggles as Wide Reciever.
What is the best joke you've heard recently?
 The Tommorrow People.
What's the worst lie you've ever been told?
All men are equal.

Lorraine, 1997, 'The Onyas', Form Guide Magazine, April 1997, p25
After six years, the Onyas finally got their shit together to release an LP "Get Shitfaced with the Onyas". I spoke to Richard about life as an Onya.
What have you guys been up to of late?
We did a tour of Europe last year. We played Germany, Holland and Spain, then we all split and the drummer went home. Me and John stuck around and worked for a while then met up in August and picked up a couple of stand in drummers at different times and played with the Cosmic Psychos. We came back to Australia broke and we started playing again around Brisbane and we've been to Melbourne a few times, and of course we supported the Sex Pistols...
Did that change anything?
It didn't change anything - it didn't make one bit of difference at all. I really don't see that kind of thing as having that much of an effect. More people may come and see us now but I don't think you can pin that down to one thing, it's a whole set of circumstances, it's the whole bullshit of Rock'n'Roll, ya know?
So why did you do it?
Getting people on our side, using Mafia tactics! No, another band pulled out and we got the job, and we were happy to take it - we've been listening to the Pistols for a long time, but by the same token it was no honour to haveto play before bands like Goldfinger and Skunk Anansie.
What bands do you normally play with in Brisbane?
A band called Big Bongin Baby have just started up again which is really good, so we play with them a fair bit. Other bands we play with are Ross Experts and a band called who are named after a Kiss song and they play Stooges covers.
    We're having a problem with venues closing on us. There's a few we can play, but not many. We played recently in a venue that was not to happy with what was going down at all and docked our pay, so we only played for 13 minutes. It's only happened twice in their history, so we're pretty happy about that!! We didn't do anything wrong, just what we always do, people just don't get it. The audience did, they were really good because they were our friends! They always are!
Tell me about the new album. What took so long?
It took 18 months to do the artwork. It's just been delays, delays, delays, which has worked in our favour in some ways because it's meant that we haven't had to work on new shit!
    I think some of it's pretty authentic, looking back on it, and hopefully we'll do a better job of it next time. If you like it, great, if you don't like it , well, great.
Do you play much of it in shows?
Yeah, we haven't played much of it lately but we'll probably practice some of them when we play on Saturday so we can remember them for the launch up here which is a couple of weeks time.
How is being on Au-Go-Go?
Well they treat us fairly and give us a hell of a lot of stuff that we wouldn't have had otherwise - that's the way we look at it.

Tom, 1996, 'The Onyas - Rockford Files 7"', Form Guide Magazine, Issue 35, September 96, pp 33-34
The Onyas give us a slice of no-fi recorded live slop, that they deemed as being necessary to be served on you, the listening public. Not much to say, just four minutes of "ramonesian" beer blasts, that are nearly as disturbing as the photo of the couple on the sleeve.
    Things get more serious on the flip, with the Rockford Files, ploughing with gusto and reckless abandon through some Birdman / Saints inspired junk, which are actually great songs, all this on 7 inches of vinyl and quite necessary.

Eva, Mick, 1998, 'The Onyas - Hitting it for six', Inpress Magazine
The Onyas are very quickly becoming international men of mystery. With three overseas tours already under their belts and another coming up, the Onyas are chalking up plenty of frequent flyer points. Despite their frequent overseas jaunts, Onyas bass player Richard will tell you that they definitely don't fit the tag of Australian cultural ambassadors and nor would they want to. The Onyas are just three Aussie blokes "Interested in making as fast and as ugly a racket as possible". The Onyas second album Six has just been unleashed and The Onyas are  playing a number of shows around town before heading off for their third tour through Europe with the Cosmic Psychos.
So another international tour?
"Yep, next weekend after these shows in Melbourne we are going to Europe for another month with the Psychos. It's becoming a bit of an annual circus over there but it's been really fun doing it."
So what other overseas tours have you been involved with?
"We went over with them in '96 and then we went over to America and Spain on our own in April last year. Then this year we are doing another month with the Psychos, then another weekend-and-a-half in Scandinavia with the New Bomb Turks."
It must be fantastic to travel to all these places witht the band...
"Oh, it's great. One aspect of this Scandinavian bit that I am looking forward to is that we have got no hotels or any of that really tour stuff, so we are just staying at houses of people who the promoter knows. So we will probably be staying with local bands and using their gear and drinking their beer and eating their food."
Tell me about your American tour. I believe you managed to score a Supersuckers support...
"Early last year just after Get Shitfaced came out we did like eight gigs in States. We saw the Supersuckers at a gig in Hollywood. We were actually drinking in this bar in Long Beach and this guy came up big noting himself saying he had all these tickets to the Supersuckers in Hollywood at the House of Blues and it was going to cost us eighty bucks each to split a cab. But when we got there they wouldn't let us in because we were all too drunk. Eventually thanks to Richie Ramone we managed to bullshit our way through all of the security and get in there. Once we were in, there Richie schmoozed his way all the way into the backstage and into the band room. At the end of the it he was talking to a sound man that he knew from Australia and as it turned out the Supersuckers were playing this gig in Kansas City the night after we were playing in Dallas. We didn't know if it was really going to happen and the whole next week we couldn't get in touch with them. So we had another gig on the same night which we had to ditch in order to play the Supersuckers one. It was at this place called the Grand Emporium, which is a reasonably big venue and stuff so it was good. We met the guys at a record store afterwards and just sat around and made the scene and stuff. We made the scene like we do everywhere."
So did you manage to bring a little bit of Australian culture to the Americans?
"We can't really talk about being purveyors of Australian culture because John sings in an American accent. But then again there is not many bands that do sing in Australian accents, it just doesn't seem to translate well into singing or rock-n-roll, that's for sure. Listen to our song Shove it up your Arse, you'll hear it there. Now there are all these bands that want to be Britpop or whatever and we are really no different from them. We play rock-n-roll and rock-n-roll is American and punk rock is American. So unless we were going to introduce didgeridoos we can't really get on our soapboxes about being arbiters of Aussie culture."
So now that you are touring the States and Europe do you have your own following of beautiful female groupies?
"Actually more than we know what to do with. That's all I'm saying. No, actually it just doesn't happen. I wish it did. People complain about them but it's not much of a complaint. They'd serve their purpose for sure. That's half the fun of the nature of the groupie, that you can just boot them out afterwards."
I hope this upcoming tour goes more successfully than your last trip to Spain...
"Yeah, that was the tour we did with Loss Ass-Draggers and Los Perros who are both from different parts of Spain. Unfortunately though, even this far down the track they still couldn't put their provincial differences aside. They were so hot blooded that we never knew when they were just getting excited or when they were going to get into each other. In the end we had to call the last weekend of the tour off for a number of reasons. John had a kidney infection, which meant he had to sleep like twenty-three hours a day, the money was running out and these guys just weren't getting along. It just wasn't happening at the end."
Just lastly tell me about your new album Six. Who recorded it?
"This woman called Sylvia Vermeulen from the Netherlands did it. She's done the live sound for the Psychos for the last five years and for us on the last two tours of Holland. She has her own studio and there's a bar in it and about eight practice rooms, so she recorded the album there for us. We also did it reasonably quickly. By anyone's elses standards it was quick but to us it seemed to take a fucken long time."
So how long did it take?
"About five days all up."

Peters, Glenn, 1997, 'The Onyas - Sensitive New Age Rock Stars', 1997, Inpress Magazine
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS THE TRANSCRIPT OF A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN JOHN OF THE ONYAS AND GLENN OF IMPRESS. THE CONTENTS DO NOT REPRESENT ANY OF THE OPINIONS OF THE EDITORS AND PUBLISHERS OF THIS MAGAZINE.
You are going to play at the Bells Beach concert with bands like Tool. Are you big fans of silverchair?
"They're fucking great."
How do you like playing those big shows?
"Playing big shows? Usually it's non eventful. You go on and the people don't know your music and they're not interested anyway and that's it. Maybe it will change a bit because the album's out or whatever but only ten people will know it. It's all right. It doesn't bother me either way. It's interesting to see how it works but I would prefer to play in a pub.
    "You've got to make sure that things don't turn into an act. It's got to be a performance. There's a big difference. I know when we act and when we perform. I mean sometimes we act and that's fucked. It has to be off-the-cuff."
What is authentic?
"Something that you see and you walk away and it's moved you in some way. It doesn't have to be positive. It can be completely negative, I just think some of the things that are fobbed off as being good never are caught up in the hype of the moment. That's what authentic is. Some bands can be authentic on some nights and not authentic on others. When you see it, you know it."
It's a gut thing?
"Shit, yeah. It's not punk rock or something. It can be anything. As long as it's authentic, it's good."
How do you like doing interviews?
"I don't mind it. Before we got do it I thought would be fucking unreal. Yeah right. All you do is crap on about yourself. I can't say I live to do it."
So instead, you live to rock?
"Oh yeah. Fuck yeah. I live to rock. Of course. I wouldn't be doing this shit. I live to pull chicks from it."
Is it working?
"Fuck yeah. It's not bad. You wouldn't believed it would ya? Not with the Onyas! It's fucking working It's true."
Just after the show, you're in?
"Yeah that has happened. You know it's a power thing. The chicks love power and when you're on-stage with people watching, you are in a position of power. It means that they want someone who's powerful to have their children ... and all this sort of shit. It's true. They can deny it all they like, they want to be independent and all that but the bottom line is if they want to have kids they want someone to look after them as well. I think that has something to do with it anyway."
They want powerful seed...?
"That's right. Not only that, they know that we are decent, good, honest human beings and we will look after them as well. I that has something to do with it anyway."
Do youthink you will pick up in Ballarat?
"I don't.think I would want to pick up in Ballarat."
How about the Torquay surf show?
"Well obviously there will be some bits at that one."
I think that will be prime real estate..?
"There will be some good bits there but they may not like what we do. It goes too quick for them and they can't really pick it up. Their intelligence level may be up there. While we come across as being stupid, we are probably not. I'm not sure about that one yet."
There's going to be a well renown classical guitarist playing at Bells. Are you going to recruit to play in the Onyas?
"We're getting a second guitarist for winter. He's coming over from Spain and he will play second guitar. He's played with us before and he was really good. When I mean that he's really good. I mean that he's as crook as we are. We did a show with him in Holland once and it was fucking great I think he will really help the band...."
But what about the chicks? They will all go for this Spanish bloke?
"I don't think. All it means that if you bring someone else into your group, you have to perform even harder to get the results you want. That won't be a problem. We always rise to the challenge."
How about you guys touring Europe last year with The Cosmic Psychos. They're great aren't they ?
"Very good blokes. It was very good of them to take some band out who had one single out that nobody had, including us and take us through with them. That was the best time of our lives doing that shit. It was incredible. It sort of  opened our eyes to all this other shit that we never knew about. We always wanted to do it but never thought that someone would ask us to do it."
That would have been a good show to see, Psychos and the Onyas in Amsterdam?
"I actually remember that one when I fell down some stairs. I was weather for a few shows there."

'The Onyas - Get Shitfaced with the Onyas', 1997, Form Guide Magazine, pp 29, 31
The Onyas must be punk - the 12 songs on this LP are over in 25 minutes. 'Get Shitfaced with the Onyas' is their first full length release. They're a classic Au-Go-Go band, playing the underground punk music they seem so fond of. For some reason everyone in Melbourne seems to compare the Onyas to the Poppin Mommas, but personally I think the Cosmic Psychos make a better comparison.
    The Onyas would tell you that they have no talent, but since when do you need talent to be in a band? It does mean though that once you get to about track 5 you feel like you've heard it all before. It also means that the cover of the Chords 'Now it's Gone' stands out a mile because it is so different to the rest of the songs on the album. The best track on the album is the first one 'Weapon' - a song any punk band would be proud of. 'Get Shitfaced' is a good first effort but more diversity in the songs would make a great improvement to this album.

Gray, Denis, 1998, 'The Onyas - Six', Vicious Kitten Magazine, Issue 9, p18
The Onyas have got to be one of this country's hardest working outfits. They seem to tour the world's toilets constantly, cranking out their loud three chord hymns wherever they can. A 'minimum fuss/maximum energy' work ethic, combined with their unique Aussie sense of humour has seen the trio win the hearts of many a punk.
    New product from the Psychos little brothers is always welcome in these parts and 'Six' (which clocks in at a Ramones-like eighteen minutes) contains twelve sweaty pub rock ditties that are soaked in beer - on an album that's a potential Oz punk classic.
    Dig the power of 'I'm not Drunk' or the beefy bass tones of 'How old's your Sister?' The furious 'When Size Matters' cooks, as does the pounding and darn amusing 'Fat 'n' Ugly'.
   This CD follows in the footsteps of their 'Get Shitfaced with The Onyas' release and as you'd, never lets up. The ripping lead on 'I'm not Drunk' and 'Hobble the Hard Yards' is dynamite and these are my choice cuts.
    Buckle up and look out for the rumoured split 7" due soon on Full Toss with the Psychos. The Onyas blow the shit out of most 'punk' bands downunder and if you ain't heard 'em, switch off Tr**le J, pull your head out of your arse and go get hit for 'Six!'



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