Byker Chic
by Vicki Arkoff
Creem - September 1988

Sheesh. What a grotty bunch of grebos, these Gaye Bykers On Acid. Have you ever seen such a filthy lot? Besides Zodiac Mindwarp that is, and Pop Will Eat Itself and... Anyway, these grease mongers are responsible for the wonderfully crass pop sounds on their grungy debut LP Drill Your Own Hole - the first British pressings of which required its listeners to do just that in order to give the disc a spin. The loopy limeys have also produced an hour-long semi-joke film of the same name which - in accordance with Gaye Bykers doings - will be available in theatrical or video form whenever they get around to it.

Their music? "It's a mess," explains schizophrenic singer Ian, who also answers to the moniker Mary, Garfield and whoever else happens to be inhabiting his possessed soul. "Actually, it's a miasma rather than a mess. That's a better word."

It's also a fitting description of their wardrobe, a colorful ensemble that combines such homemade items as paint splattered jeans and T-shirts with Vision brand street wear (thanks to a sponsorship deal). Does this mean that the scuzzballs are cleaning up their act? Nah, says Ian, who here expounds on that subject among others. "We're only in it for the free clothes."

GAYE BYKERS ON MODELING...
"It's a new direction for us. A nude modeling period would be nice, but I've got the worst pair of legs in history. I'm just in it for the free clothes."

GAYE BYKERS ON MOTORCYCLES...
"I don't think that motorbikes and Harley Davidsons are particularly stylish because they're so common now - everybody needs a penis substitute. I'm into surrealist motorbike riding, actually; I don't ride one at all."

GAYE BYKERS ON THEIR TOES...
"I put my feet in Doc Marten boots with steel toe cups...and also Vision hightops in every color. I wear red & black shoes as a sign of anarchosyndicalism. It refers to after the Spanish Civil War when the fascists and communists joined together and worked out a political system."

GAYE BYKERS ON SKATEBOARDS...
"The worst accident I've had is when I broke my back, neck, arms, legs and our guitarist Tony broke his neck, back, arms, legs as we were attempting to skate down the side of the Empire State Building from the top. It was a bizarre thing. We nearly made it."

GAYE BYKERS ON UNDERTHINGS (OR VICE VERSA)...
"Socks. Leicester (our hometown) is really big in socks and underwear. Mark's & Spencer underwear. And I have a corporate codpiece; it says ‘Vision' on it."

GAYE BYKERS ON ACID - WASHED JEANS...
"Definitely a naff item. What kind of jeans do I wear? I wear nothing. I walk around naked the way God intended. That's the most stylish way you can walk around, really... Actually, we wear Levi 501s but the new ones they make in England always fall apart. 501s are also fascist - that's what the Communist Party of Great Britain recommends everybody to wear. They're the trousers of the masses."

GAYE BYKERS ON HEROIN...
"That's the one thing we do not recommend. That's one thing the band hates: smack. Kick it, kick junk. ‘What else can a poor worker do?' You know the song? Allen Ginsberg."

GAYE BYKERS ON ACID (REALLY)...
"We've been known to trip. Basically, we take 15 tabs of acid, lock ourselves in a room and listen to the Butthole Surfers really loud. Tripping out, to me, meant mating and having children. See I did loads of it one day and I lost all notion of time and I freaked out... When I discovered that time was completely irrelevant I thought I was gonna die, so I had to mate - leave my seed. When I got to my girlfriend's house she locked me out, so that was the end. She was a designer, so the acid and fashion just go hand in hand."

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