Unsigned Band Drinking Game

You know what it's like, you go to a gig and first on is a local unsigned band. Sometimes they are fantastic, but I think we all know that, most of the time, it's a bit of a trial. To remedy this I have devised a drinking game to soften the blow.

Take a drink:

• when the band come on stage (just to be on the safe side)
• for each member of the band who looks younger than you
• for each member of the band you don't know
• for any incomprehensible banter between songs
• if a song is dedicated to someone
• for any in-jokes that half the audience gets but you don't
• for each parent of a band member present
• if they say "we have a tape for sale"
• or "this is on our first single"
• or "please sign our mailing list"
• for each person dancing/moshing down the front
• if you spot someone singing along
• if the singer jumps down off the stage mid-song

• for each ill-conceived cover version
• if any props are used
• if there is a 'concept' to the set
• for a foot on the monitor or any other 'Hello Wembley'-type gesture, when they are playing in front of 20 people on a wet Tuesday in February.
• if any member of the band looks as though they should be in a completely different band
• for any grandparent of a band member present
• per stage diver
• if they say 'we have a CD for sale'
• or 'visit our website'
• when you start singing along
• if any other member of the band jumps off the stage mid-song
• if you hear a rumour about an A&R man turning up

• drum solo
• when you are dancing down the front
• if a string snaps
• if an A&R man does turn up
• if you find yourself travelling more than 10 miles to see the band
• if the drummer jumps off the stage mid-song
• when they finish (just to be on the safe side)

• if they get signed

mail me with any suggestions
green bottles hanging on the wall.