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Dear Cartman,
Cartman what is ramshamboey?
Well Rashambo is a little game I like to play to get things from people. The key to this game is to go first. If you kick someone in the nuts they won't be able to get up and kick you back. This is very smart on my part.
Cartman
Sup Cartman? who thought up "The Bitch" song?????? was it your idea to come up with South Park? who cares what others think of your weight! you eat as many Cheesy Poofs as you want!!!! i do!!!! i look up to you as a role model.I am just wondering ifyou were single, if you aren't would you like to hook up?
Well if you like the Bitch Song it was my idea. If you don't like it give all the credit to the producers. That goes for the show too! I am a master genius. Right now it would be great to have a chick by my side twenty four hours a day. Yes I do realize that Cheesy Poofs are very tasty. That is why I have to kick people in the nuts. The rest of the gang likes to make fun of me for this so I kick them in the nuts.
Cartman
Dear Cartman Why are you so obsessed with kicking people in the nuts? And also I say all of you guy's (Kyle, Stan, And you) kick the shit out of Kenny no, one likes him?.....
I only kick people in the nuts when I have to or when I'm bored. Usually when I'm bored. As you have seen in most of the episodes Kenny is dead before we can all get a piece of him. I only wish he didn't die.I would like to kill him myself. I wouldn't need anyone elses help,OK! I hope that answers all of your questions.
Cartman
Hey Cartman,
You kick ass but doesn't it piss you off when kids make fun of your weight,what do you about when they make fun of you?
Well usually when people make fun of me I go Home. I think now that I'm pumping some iron I can stick up for myself and kick them Square in the nuts!
Cartman
Dear Cartman,
where can I find some weightgain, BEEFCAKE!
First off never say Beefcake again. It makes you look like a real ass. Second I myself have never bought it so I wouldn't know where to find it. Probably in a store.
Cartman
Dear Cartman,
Why the hell are you so ****ing fat?
Well Max I'll tell you. Since Kenny is very poor and he happens to be very thin to I think that I am showing off how rich I am because I can get all of this food. Another reason is that that Weight Gain 4000 might wear off a bit but not too much. Now I think I'm screwed.
Cartman
This Question comes from our friend Ned Flanders.
Dear Cartman,
IF YOUR MOM IS A HAEMOMAPHRODITE
THEN WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU??INBRED?
ORPHAN??TELL ME U FAT SHIT!!
Listen we should just leave all of this in the past. There are definetly too many people asking my this question. To tell you the truth I can't figure it out. At first I thought I was a bastard but now I realized that my Mom is my Dad so i don't know what that makes Me.
Cartman
This Question comes from our friend South Park # 1 Fan.
Dear Cartman,
why are you so fat & why do you eat so much cheese poofs
another thing what are cheese poofs
First of All I am Fat because I eat Cheesy poofs. Cheesy Poofs are the most tasty and fattening food ever. Everyone one knows they are just like Cheese Doodles.
Cartman
This Question comes from our friend Kenny McCormic.
Dear Cartman,
do you have balls and do you like to hang out with chicks and call people names?
Why I enjoy that a lot. Especially hanging out with Chicks. Matt and Trey don't let me do that in the show so during the breaks I am out back with my girls. I'll call you names if you keep asking me questions.
Cartman
Dear Cartman,
who do you think is your mother
Well since I didn't meet her I wouldn't know would I. The only person that pops into my head is Mr. Garrison. The night of the drunken barn dance he must have done it with my dad. Maybe Mr. Garrison is my Mom. Hey you never Know!
Cartman
