I sit outside, once again on the cold cement bench, I don’t really watch the people anymore, I use to but that got boring really quickly. I can hear the faint mummers of some of the people around me and they scare me. They are all so insane, I don’t fit in here, why am I here, I don’t understand. The yard “we” are allowed in is so small, and surrounded by a wall that is at least ten feet high and made out of brick. Most the ground is covered in cement, there is only a small patch of grass. All the furniture is cement to the ground, why do they do that, it is all so strange to me, but I don’t argue I know it does no good, I learned that the hard way. Now I mostly sit quietly by myself quietly, ignoring everyone around me. I don’t join in their stupid little games; they are children’s games I am not a child. It is a nice day today there is a lot of white fluffy clouds billowing past over head, I wish I could be a cloud and float free across the sky and not be a prisoner in this horrible place, though I know that is not possible I still like to dream. The sky is changing colour becoming almost golden, though the sky is still mostly blue, the sun is setting. I wish I could see the sunset better but the wall restricts my view, I don’t know when the last time I saw a sunset. The blue  . . . golden . . . whatever colour sky starts to turn black as night approaches. I sigh as I stand up to go inside we can’t be out at dark. I hate going inside. It is cold and really kind of scary inside, I feel somewhat safer outside. Monsters lurk inside they walk down the corridors and hide under the beds, I want to be outside but they FORCE us to go inside.
     ‘White, white, white all the walls are white.’ I think to myself in almost a chanting voice thinking that if I wrote some music it could actually be a song.
It seemed to make the fact that all the walls were padded with a thick, plush white material . . . leather I think. Even the bedding is white, the bedding on the hard uncomfortable bed, that is bolted to the floor. The lumpy, hard pillow is in a white pillowcase.
‘White, White, White too much of one colour can make a person go insane.’ I think to myself in the same singsong voice as before. I repress the urge to sing this out loud for fear I’d be labeled as insane. I am not insane maybe crazy, though not crazy in an insane way more crazy as in a carefree way, though those carefree days seem to be over, what is there to be carefree about in this place?
    The door slams as it is flung open, a guy in a long white coat comes walking in.
    ‘White, White, White people dressed in white. Men in white . . . white whhiiiiittte.’ I think in a singing voice and think how glad I am that I don’t wear white I wear blue. ‘Blue is the ocean, blue is the sky . . .’ I start thinking in the singing voice then stop myself it don’t fit with the white song.
    “Time for your medicine Bo.” The doctor says softly, acting as though he is talking to a child.
    “No don’t want none, I ain’t sick.” I say.
The doctor only smiles and shakes his head in an almost sympathetic way, I don’t need his sympathy, his fake sympathy. He comes towards me with a needle.
     “NO! NO NEEDLES!” I yell as loudly as I can.
I now see the so-called doctor in his true form, he is a monster a large hideous monster. His skin is as white as the walls, blending in with the jacket he still stills wears. His eyes are large and red; he has fangs and long sharp nails that are coated with blood. I try to scream but my scream remains locked deep in my throat I can only gaze at the monster with wide terrified eyes. The monster snarls and is slathering as it comes towards me, the needle still gripped tight in it’s bony hand. My legs feel numb, as does my whole body but I manage to move. I run across the room trying vainly to escape the monster that pursues me. I try to escape but the monster traps me in the corner. I pull my knees tight to my chest, and touch my forward to my drawn up knees. I close my eyes and scream in wordless terror. I can feel the needle sink in deep into my right arm and I cry out. The world around me turns back and I try to fight of the sleep that is overtaking me, the sleep the monster drugged me with. I try to struggle as the monster lifts me up, but I lack the strength. I feel the monster lay me back down on the bed. I hear the monster leave again, he door closes and locks. I try hard to fight off the sleep but it is becoming increasingly harder. The howls of other monsters fills my ears and makes me fear sleep . . . I don’t want to go to sleep the monsters will get me if I go to sleep. I fight hard but I can’t stop sleep, I know I will asleep within moments.
     Night turns to day as it always has before, I sit against the far wall it is raining today we can’t go outside. I don’t care though; I got someone to talk to today. My cousin Luke is here. I like it when he comes to visit; he usually knows just the right time to come. I can depend on him to be there to talk to when I need. Though I know he can’t protect me from the monsters at night, I am alone at night.
     “How are you feeling Bo?” Luke asks.
I shrugged. “I’d feel better if I could go home.”
         “I know you want to go home but you can’t.”
 “Why not? I don’t like it here.”
Luke gently places a hand on my shoulder. “I know you don’t kiddo, but you can’t go home. I am sorry I wish I could take you back home but I can’t it is not up to me.”
I frown slightly. “I hate it here. There is so many monsters that come out at night.
    “Try not to fear the monsters. If you don’t fear them they can’t hurt you.”
     “I can’t help it . . . Luke?”
     “Yeah what is it Bo?”
     “Why am I here?”
Luke goes silent after I ask that, he always does when I ask that still I ask anyway, thinking this would be the time he would tell me, but he never does. Ever time he is quiet I fear that he will never speak to me again, I don’t know what I’d do if Luke didn’t talk to me. Suddenly the door opens and the same doctor . . . monster that drugged me last night enters the room. When he comes in Luke vanishes, I look up at the monster accusingly knowing he did something to make Luke vanish.
     “What did you do to my cousin, where did you make Luke go?”
     “Luke wasn’t here. He couldn’t be here. Don’t you remember the accident?”
I shake my head. “What accident? There was no accident.”
The doctor sighs. “You have to try to remember the accident.”
 “There was no accident. I want to go home let me go home.” I say, trying to sound demanding.
The doctor, or rather monster only sighs again and walks to the doorway, he is talking to someone softly though I don’t know who and I can’t hear what he is saying. I look away I know he is talking about me but I don’t care, why should I? When I look back up I see my Uncle Jesse and cousin Daisy come into the room and I smile widely. I like having them to talk to, not as much as I like talking to Luke, but I still love seeing them.
     Jesse walks over and knells down in front of me, pulling me into a hug, which I return, the Daisy does the same.
     “How are you today?” Jesse asks.
     “I want to go home.”
     “You can’t. I am sorry.” Jesse says.
     “Why can’t I?”
     “You just can’t.” Jesse says, his voice sounds sad.
     “Can you make that monster bring Luke back? He made Luke vanish.”
Jesse sighed. “That man is a doctor, there is no such thing as monsters. He didn’t make Luke vanish. Luke was never here.”
     “YES HE WAS! And there is monsters that all show themselves at night.”
Jesse and Daisy just look at me saying nothing, their eyes watery with unshed tears. I wonder why they look like they are going to cry.
     “Where is Luke?” I ask.
     “Luke is gone.” Daisy says softly.
I look at her questioningly. “Gone where?”
     “Don’t you remember anything about the accident?” Jesse asks.
     “What accident? Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
     “Try to remember the accident Bo.” Daisy says softly.
     “There is no accident to remember. Where is Luke?”
     “Luke is dead. He was killed in the accident.” Jesse says.
I stare blankly at him not able to believe what he just said. “YOU ARE LYING! Luke is not dead . . . he is not dead, there was no accident. You are monsters . . . not really my family. Leave me alone.
I pull away from these monsters that disguised themselves as my family, I pull myself into the corner, hugging my knees tight to my chest, burying my head in my arms. I feel the monster that is disguised as my uncle touch my arm and try to pull away.
     “LEAVE ME ALONE!”
The monster pulls away from me and I hear them all leave the room, I know that I am once again alone in the white room . . . all alone . . . so utterly alone.
     I can feel myself drifting into a sleep, I don’t want to go to sleep, but I don’t want to fight it either. I don’t want to do anything anymore, why should I Luke is dead . . . he is dead. I wish the monsters would come and get me then I would be dead to. As I drift towards sleep I begin to remember the accident.