GuloGulo: At the end of every show, Lesko reaches out, turns the handle, opens the screen of your TV and steps into your living room to sleep on your couch. |
Jazzsoda: Why do I expect a door to open in this guy's forehead, and for a smaller version of himself to step out of it? |
Taryn: (forgive me for being tacky, but does she or does she not have a picture of Piglet ripping a fart on her shoulder???) |
Tumbler: " I'd give my left nut to go back to Earth." |
TravisBickle: I think she's going to show us how Brundel Fly eats. |
Occupant: Farty Love? Thanks, just the same. |
AgentQ: You know in Child's Play when Chucky gets that mean look on his face? That was me! |
GuloGulo: "Look, it's great for storing blankets, sweaters, unwanted fetuses, towels, throw rugs--anything, really!" "What was that you said, in the middle?" "Towels?" |
GuloGulo: "Ugh--caller six, your soul tastes like doo-doo!" |
Hippie: Bill's cuckoo clock was the talk of the town. He built it to look like a window and every hour his mom opens it and shouts dinner will be ready soon. |
JoeCrow: So would you like to see the Secret Policeman's Other Ball? |
Jonesing: "Excuse me, sir, Petting Zoo Security. Can I check under your coat?" "Why?" "Baaaaaa!" |
Ratel: My little brother looks pretty good as a woman, eh? I'd do 'im! |
Ratel: 'E's still breathin some, 'ick 'im agin! |
ZebehnDeGeustaah: A new form of marionette, or wretchedly botched sodomy? They ain't tellin'. |
Artanas: In a bid to scare off his audience, Barney unveils his Leatherface costume |
Hippie: Guaranteed to rape you when you're alone with them in the woods. |
Manjushri: "Confucious say, 'Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.'" |
Artanas: Must be pretty scary when Ozzy Osbourne shows up unexpectantly in your bedroom |
Flanker: And bad things grow outside it. |
keogh: "So I says to Bobby Fisher, I says, 'Sure, you could go for the win, but ya gotta go to yer car sooner or later.' Well, he hears them banjoes and figgers..." |
Jazzsoda: "Yes, I was deflowered by the Vagabond Spokesperson. It's a shame I'll take with me to my grave. Huh? Testimonial? Oh.. uh, great tent. *sob*" |
two: Rudy the red nosed child adopted the special speckled Larch trout |
Hippie: Parents were shocked when she ate the whole thing a second later. |
Occupant: o/' It's the story, of a man named Brady, who was busy with three boys . . . |
Hippie: But mom, we had this last night! *And you'll have it again until you can keep it down, you little bastard! |
Sondheim: "Aunt Abby, I just saw a body in the window seat and it was being raped by my rabbit friend Harvey!" |
keogh: "The robot has an attachment for that sort of thing?" (pause) "What? Oh, nothing, I was just lost in thought for a moment there. Was I drooling?" |
TravisBickle: I could lay you out in your mother's feces.... or we could talk. |
GuloGulo: As Laura mocks Dan's grotesquely overfilled colostomy bag, he takes out his knife and prepares to exact a foul revenge. |
AgentQ: Ah, when old ladies get hit by trucks, ha ha. Let's go grab a beer and rape somebody. |
Hippie: Casey Kasem? Is that you! *Ma'am, under my coat I have the NUMBER ONE penis you're likely to see! Accompanied by TWO of the BEST testicles in the business... |
AgentQ: And then he wiped his ass with my beard! And I was screaming, saying "No! No!"...but he wouldn't listen. *sob* It took weeks to get the funk out. |
Occupant: When the IV bottle is empty and the cathater bottle is full, they just switch bottles. That's the HMO way! |
keogh: Jiminy, these two will be the parents of a whole new race of superbeings. |
Seltaeb: That was the best first date I ever had! |
Artanas: Meanwhile, Plastic-Man continues with the molestation... |
Artanas: And is now known as Douglas "Sugar Thighs" Heyes while serving his life sentence |
Artanas: "Hey Bert, in the mood for a murder?" "Hee hee, sure Ernie, let's get 'im" |
Occupant: Thanks, Cosmetic Miracle! You made my 15-year-old step-daughter look 12 again! Let's go upstairs, baby . . . |
Artanas: and now back to "Mr. Gigers Neighborhood" already in progress... |
GuloGulo: They've Saved A Space For You(tm) |
AgentQ: Dear God, I hope that's his thumb. |
Hippie: Lesko, I don't care how much they're paying me, knock off that disgusting, perverted little "puppet show" or I walk! |
JOECROWTHERS: "You lose again....off with the diaper" |
KINGDINOSAUR: "I wanna soda." "Shhh. Just suckle, dear." "I don't wanna!" "You're only 5. You still need breast milk. Trust me. Mommy knows what's best." |
Hippie: Apparently, the kid from KingDinosaur's breast milk caption never did get weened off it. And he raised his son the same way. |
Hippie: Mel Torme advises, "And when you finish pouring out my piss bottle into your canteen, advise the Captioneers it's officially RetroTV Torture Time!" |
KINGDINOSAUR: Sure the mid-west flood from the heavy downpour destroyed all of Chester's personal possessions, but he still had little boys and that's what he truly loved. |
JoeCrow: a pedophile's work is never done |
Seltaeb: So, you've noticed the live salmon hanging from CabbagePatch's front teeth too, huh? |
GuloGulo: The entire family was delighted by Grampa's amusing death. |
GuloGulo: The problem with finger sandwiches at parties is that some people don't know when to stop. |
keogh: Oh, yeah. keogh's back in the game. |
