JorGGirrrl: "What do you MEAN it's not a good DeNiro? How 'bout a mole. Would that help?" |
Hippie: Kolchak holds on to a "package" for his friend Billchak and unwittingly becomes part of the Snuggles kidnapping. |
Occupant: I'd like a cheeseburger, curly fries and a large Mr. Pibb. |
Hippie: This could be a hard situation for anyone to get by--anyone who WASN'T Kolchak, and who DIDN'T have a duck costume! |
bosko: Looks like Kolchak got stuck in the wood chipper again |
Jazzsoda: I'll be damned. It just leads to a wall. How does that Kolchak keep losing us like this?? |
Hippie: Kolchak's arch-enemy the Plaid Man. |
Jazzsoda: "Last one in the pool's a Rotten Eggstalker!!" |
Hippie: Kolchak writes his own theme song to the tune of "Love Shack": "The Kol-chak is groovy old dude who... digs... fun-ny hats!" |
Jazzsoda: High on corrective fluid, Kolchak feels around inside the megaphone for hours in search of his crackerjack prize. |
Hippie: Wait... that bump on the head did something! It's all coming back to me now! My name isn't Kolchak--it's Huckleberry Finn! |
Hippie: T-K-O! Turbo, Kolchak, Ozone. Peace, we outta here. |
AgentQ: Kolchak walks in on Julie Hagerty trying to inflate the automatic pilot. |
Jazzsoda: You're just in time, Kolchak! Me and some girlfriends are about to demonstrate some amazing new vacuum technology. Watch where you step! |
Hippie: Do we like manly love? Who doesn't? *stomp* OW! |
Occupant: No, sir. "We're looking for a few good men" is the marines. This is the Navy. You mean "Hello, sailor." |
Hippie: So what's in the guitar case, mariarchi? |
TravisBickle: Let's see, those plastic explosives are in here somewhere! Doh, my fetish mags! How embarassing! And in front of Ma's Parking, too! |
rogeemoto: How come I never gets to stalk nobody? |
Hippie: Later, alone, in the privacy of his garage, Kolchak recreates the ticketing scene, giving the cop a phoney Irish accent and making himself MUCH brasher... |
bosko: It just occured to me, Who takes the day shift for Kolchak as the Daystalker? |
Hippie: This is Kolchak's Notes, Number 634: Alone... braving a dark tunnel with no hope of--HAT ON FIRE!!! HAT ON FIRE!!! HAT ON FIRE!!! |
Hippie: Kolchak's *pretty sure* he can do that "scratching" thing, but would hate to mess up his favorite Chicago album |
Hippie: Dear MTV... If I won a dream date with Courteny Love, she would have a lot of fun. I'd take her to Rally's and we'd see "Anaconda" at the $1 theater... |
Jazzsoda: Really good sculpture always makes Kolchak's heart go pitter-pat. |
GuloGulo: "You wound me, sir! I wish to procure this kind bud to ease my sainted mother's glaucoma! Now hand it over, and don't pain me with your insinuations!" |
Artanas: In a moment of pure insanity, Carl attempts to insert an oven thermometer into Frank Perdues neck. |
Artanas: "Bad Carl, bad Carl, whatcha gunna do when they come for you" |