The Roundhouse Drinking Game

(Also check out a related site: The Newsies Drinking Game created by Julia.)

DISCLAIMER: The Triumvirate assumes no responsibility if your favorite beverage is alcoholic and you decide to play this game with the fourth season.

What you need:

Directions:

Take one sip whenever:

Ivan touches his hair
Julene as Grandma is on the screen
A cast member is playing a musical instrument
Someone cooler than you'll ever be portrays a nerd
Someone talks in an announcer voice
You hear the little squeaky "I Love You" on the closing credits
Mark does his Ed McMayonnaise impression
Someone says something sucks
Seymour does something acrobatic
David Sidoni beats up on someone
Someone pretends to eat something really disgusting
Shawn says a "curse word"
Micki is wearing men's clothes with no pants
A cameraman is visible onscreen (if you can see more than one, take a sip for each one you see)
A reference is made to a character’s age that that particular character obviously ISN’T (e.g. Ivan’s thirteenth birthday)
Alfred makes the Cute Dad Face(tm)
Julene does something disgustingly flexible
You find yourself living vicariously through Micki

Take two sips whenever:

Gus the sucky sock dog looks mangled
Someone other than Mark wears a loudspeaker box on his/her head
You notice that it's an Ivan-choreographed episode (three sips if you realize it before they actually tell you, an extra sip if you turn out to be wrong)
The cast does a Sally Blubbers skit
Mark dances
The Roundhouse gang dances with funky props
A non-dance bumper is used (this counts for only one sip if it is a 4th season episode)
The Roundhouse logo appears somewhere on the screen and is not superimposed there by the graphics people
John asks someone to pull his finger
Anyone makes a political joke that kids today wouldn’t get
Anyone makes a joke that you yourself wouldn't have gotten at age 12
Someone mocks Roundhouse itself
Amy says, "It's so big it scares me."
Shawn looks younger than the Anykids portraying her children
Ivan sticks out his tongue
One of the divas (Crystal, Amy, Jennifer, Lisa) messes up on a high note
A band member is an integral part of a skit
Someone calls a cast member by their real name rather than their character name (Drink the whole bottle if someone calls Ivan "Dutch")
Someone gets kissed
Anyone trips over the dad chair
A dancer does a pelvic thrust, push-up, or writhes on the floor
Ivan makes the Roundhouse gesture

Down your whole drink whenever:

Someone other than John is in the dad chair
Anyone says something blatantly erotic
The camera follows someone offstage
John dances
John falls out of the dad chair
Ivan lifts up his shirt to expose his stomach (two drinks if you can see a nipple)
A band member speaks
Anyone says your first name
Ivan sings by himself (rapping or wailing counts)

The game is officially over, and you can turn off your VCR and go home when:

The melodious sound of Crystal's voice begins to lull you into a happy, dreamlike stupor
Ivan takes off all his clothes
Someone falls and breaks their collarbone
Marty smashes his guitar over James's head
The fourth season cast members start showing up on first- and second-season episodes (excluding ones that are there all the time anyway)
The station identification reads "Empty Vee"
Natalie makes the cute dad face and offers around delicious pudding pops
Shawn says an actual curse word instead of "shuckins"
Alfred plays the Anykid
Amy's incredible acting moves you to tears
Seymour gets motion sickness after a headspin
Ivan, Mark, and John turn to the screen and begin saying erotic things directly to you