Lisa's Notebook

Moaning Lisa's Blues (From 7G06: "Moaning Lisa")
I've got a bratty brother, he bugs me every day
And this morning my own mother, she gave my last cupcake away
My dad acts like he belongs, he belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid in grade number two.

Lisa, on Bart (From 7G01: "Some Enchanted Evening")
"You're just like Chilly, the elf that cannot love."

"Howl of the Unappreciated" (From 7F07: "Bart vs. Thanksgiving")
"I saw the best meals of my generation destroyed by the madness of my brother, my soul carved in slices by spiky-haired demons..."

Why Marge shouldn't ban Bart and Lisa from watching cartoons (From 7F07: "Itchy and Scratchy and Marge")
"But mom, if you take our cartoons away, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots!"

Lisa's Poem, as read to Homer (From 7F24: "Stark Raving Dad")
I had a cat named Snowball, she died, she died!
Mom said she was sleeping-she lied, she lied!
Why oh why is my cat dead?
Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?
I had a hamster named Snuffy, he died...

A Real Career Goal (From 8F15: "Separate Vocations")
"Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs. And I may or may not die young, I haven't decided."

Lisa Cheers her Halluciantions after Duff Gardens (From 9F11: "Selma's Choice")
"I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!!!!"

The Power Plant Strike Anthem (From 9F15: "Last Exit to Springfield")
Come gather round children, it's high time ye learns
'Bout a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns
We'll march till we drop, the girls and the fellas
We'll fight to the death or else fold like umbrellas.
So we'll march day and night by the big cooling tower
They have the plant, but we have the power.

A Bright Idea (From 1F12: "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy")
"I've got a solution-you and I are going to make our own talking doll! She'll have the wisdom of Gertrude Stein and the wit of Cathy Guisewite, the tenacity of Nina Totenberg and the common sense of Elizabeth Katy Stanton. And to top it off, the down-to-earth good looks of Eleanor Roosevelt!"

Why Bart Needs an Enemy (From 1F18: "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badasssss Song")
"I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis. Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty, Mountain Dew has its Mello Yello, and even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow."

Opinions about Romance (From 2F33: "Another Simpsons Clip Show")
"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, then sold off piece by piece."

Why Bart and Jessica are not made for each other (From 2F04: "Bart's Girlfriend")
"I just think you and Jessica are too different from each other to get along. She's a sweet, kind reverend's daughter and you're the devil's cabana boy."

Strike Panic (From 2F19: "The PTA Disbands")
"Relax? I can't relax. Nor can I yield, relent or... Only two synonyms? Oh my god! I'm losing my perspicacity!" (Runs out of the room in terror)

Insight into Hullabalooza (From 3F21: "Homerpalooza")
"Wow, it's like Woodstock, only with advertisements everywhere and tons of security guards."

Another bright idea (From 4F17: "The Old Man and the Lisa")
"Uh, well, if I did agree to help you, you could only earn money by doing good, socially responsible things. Nothing evil"

A Challenge Conquered (From 4F21: "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson")
"You thought I couldn't but I could, I did it and I could do it again, let's do it again!"

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