The JxIno story continues...
Well, this chapter is going to contain the standard angst and exploration of feelings,
since I plan to have J and Ino sort of figure out that theres something special
about their friendship--lets see if it actually works out. I dont think the
time is ripe for a big denouement just yet though, so be patient! All will be revealed in
time...There is no actual m-m sex, so if thats all you want, Im sorry to
disappoint you. Thanks to people who actually gave me some feedback, its amazingly
encouraging. To all those who read this, I encourage you all to try your own fanfics too!
It's an interesting experience, to say the least. And I can't write to save my life
either, so don't tell me that
...............................
Chapter 4: Its Not Possible
...............................
J watched helplessly as Inoran ran from the room. He was torn--should he try to explain
his mistake? His guts twisted as he saw Inoran's face in his mind. For someone who was
usually so emotionally muted that it had taken J years to recognize his emotions, there
had been a dangerous amount of pain in that expression.
What must he be thinking about me? Should I wait until he calms down?
No, he decided. I dont want him to think the wrong thing for a second longer than he
has to! He shot Kaori, the cause of this mess, a glance filled with hate, and restrained
the urge to slap her smug face. Then he ran after Inoran.
Inoran sprinted around the corners, trying not to think about what he had just seen and
heard, tried to focus on getting away to someplace to think it over. But as much as he
tried, the same images kept running in his head like a broken movie reel. Their
faces...Js strange behavior...J trying to tell him something...Kaoris laugh
when they spent time together.
Finally, in a little side street with only a few cats and garbage cans, he stumbled to a
halt. Utterly out of breath, he leaned against a dusty brick wall, lungs heaving. He ran
his hands through his long hair, pulled it away from his face, felt his cheeks burning. As
long as he could focus on how hard his heart was pounding, how his flushed body was
radiating waves of heat, how the sweat ran into his eyes and burned them, he didnt
have to think about what he had seen.
Unfortunately, it just couldnt last. He slid down the wall and buried his head in
his hands, his habit when he was feeling really upset. Why did it have to be my best
friend and my girl friend? he wondered. Its like some bad soap opera, where Im
the clueless one. But I should have known. Shes so pretty and popular...why would
she pick me? Js got the powerful personality; of course she would like him. But why
didnt he just tell me? He thought about the panicked expression on J's face when
Kaori had confessed.
Of course he wouldn't tell me. He doesn't want to hurt me.
The thought filled him with a sadness for a moment, and then suddenly he was angry.
Dammit, I dont want your pity!
He sighed. God, maybe Im overreacting. Its not like she promised to marry me,
Im the one who had to go and hand her my heart on a platter...no wonder J
didnt want to tell me.
Where the hell is he?!? J came out of the school and scanned the street, realizing that
Inoran could have disappeared in any direction.
Shit, I lost him...
Even thinking the words made him panic, and he took off in the direction of Inorans
house. If he isnt there Ill wait until he comes back, he thought grimly.
Ill be damned if I let him sleep tonight without clearing things up. Once he reached
the fence in front of Inorans house, he stopped for breath and to clear his mind.
How am I going to convince him about the truth?
Suddenly he shook his head.
Why am I overreacting?
Normally he was in control of his emotions, at least on the outside. He couldnt
understand why he was practically frantic just because Inoran had misunderstood the
relationship between Kaori and him.
Which, of course, is _absolutely nothing_.
He had to make that clear to Inoran before saying anything else. Looking inside the window
by the door, he realized that his friend definitely hadnt returned. Feeling
disappointed but realizing that he could use the time to sort out his explanation, J sat
down on the curb and waited for Inoran to come home.
Inoran looked at the darkening sky above the sunset. He was reluctant to go home, but it
was starting to get cold. He wasnt exactly sure how long it would take him to get
back. Clambering stiffly to his feet, he trudged out of the street and started to look for
familiar landmarks. Feeling mostly tired and a little distant, as if the entire
afternoons scene had only been a daydream, he mechanically covered the blocks.
J waited, feeling guilty as he realized that Inoran had been out for hours.
It must have really hurt him, the way he cares about Kaori and all. Damn, I need a smoke,
and a drink wouldnt hurt either. I hope he listens to me, at least. Its
starting to get cold. He paced briskly, trying to keep warm.
Inoran looked at the figure walking outside his house. Somehow he knew who it would be,
although he couldnt make out any features at that distance. Besides, he didnt
know anyone else that tall. Quietly, he went around to the back of the house. He
didnt feel like facing J. It wasnt so much that he was angry, but he just
couldnt shake the feeling of being betrayed. All of his previous pain came rushing
back to him when he thought about the close friendship between them. For five years they
had been friends. J had never deliberately hidden anything from him, not even his drinking
habits.
I would have sworn...why did you do this? You knew how much I liked her...
J stopped mid-pace, thinking about all the activities that they shared: running the music
club, forming and playing in the band, teaching and practicing the guitar, sneaking out to
the livehouses to see their idols perform...or just discussing their uncertain futures.
Im closer to Ino than I am to my own sister, whos already in college...
A sound? A glimpse out of the corner of his eye? Whatever the reason, he felt his heart
sink and hit his ribcage with a *thud*. He whirled around. Sure enough, there was Ino,
sneaking off to the back door.
Shit, he doesnt even want to talk to me.
Great...Im caught, thought Ino. Now I have to hear him apologize. I almost wish he
wouldnt. Then maybe I could deal with our...friendship.
"Ino, listen," began J.
"Look, its OK." Inoran cut him off. "You dont have to apologize
or anything, she likes you, you like her, theres no point in my getting in the
way." The bitterness of his words surprised the part of him that wasn't numb with
faitgue. He couldnt even tell why J made him so upset.
He felt dimly that if it had been Kaori, somehow he would have been handling it better.
"Its not like that! Listen to me, dammit!" J felt himself getting
frustrated. He had to get through to Ino somehow. His friend looked at him, a little
surprised at his tone.
"Kaori lied to you," he went on. "Theres nothing between her and me.
Nothing!" As he said the words, he knew had made a mistake. Inoran flushed.
"Why would she lie to me for no reason? Shes not that kind of person! If you
think Im buying that as a story, youre dumber that I think you are."
Unable to stop the flood of angry words, he went on, keeping his eyes carefully averted
from Js face. "Youve been hiding something from me anyway, don't deny it.
Why should I trust you more than her?"
J was silent. How could he explain that there was a reason for her to lie, that shed
only
been using him, that she had lied in order to get back at J for rejecting her? What was
the use, when Inoran didnt believe him anyway? "I thought that we were better
friends than that," he said at last, keeping his voice carefully neutral.
"So did I," said Inoran quietly, and J winced despite his innocence.
"Then dammit, why wont you trust me?" he shouted, losing his control.
"Give me a reason to!" retorted Inoran.
"Try this: Because I care about you, bakayaro!"
Inoran was stunned into silence. J couldnt even believe his own ears. Did I just say
that? he wondered. He, who'd refused to kiss his parents goodnight since he was twelve
and scoffed at the sentimental cartoons Inoran dragged him to see?
Its just not possible. But hes looking at me oddly...Quickly, he filled in the
gap. "I mean I care more about you than some girl. Our friendship is more important.
Besides,
what would happen to the band if we couldnt pull it together?" Suddenly Inoran
recalled how often hed been skipping practice recently, and a pang of guilt shoved
aside the angry fog.
No matter what, I owe it to him to at least listen. After that...
Thats it for Chapter 4. I cant decide whether to end the fic at the end of
high school, or move it on into their indies days. Their relationship development will be
impacted by which one I choose, so if you have any preferences, <A
HREF="mailto:aki2000@xpres.net">mail me ok?</A> Thanks for your support
and continued tolerance of my fiction!
The JxIno story continues...
Well, heres Chapter 5. Five Chapters in as many days, Im kinda pleased with
myself!
(Aki: Well sheesh, no wonder the quality was a bit...um, strained.^^;;)
Now lets see how long my resolve lasts...I have a history test tomorrow and Im
still writing. Either that means I really want to complete this or I just dont wanna
study. ^_^ The next few chapters (geez this is gonna be long) might take a while, though.
Im going into their indies days, so that means researching the other band members
too, though of course the plots still focusing on Ino and J! Many thanks to the
people who keep reading this. (And also "Monkichi-san" of JHU who sent me nice
e-mails!) Even though I like writing, it's hard for me to have the confidence to post my
work, and encouraging feedback (heck, _any_ feedback) helps. After all, a bit of company
is nice when you
..............................
Chapter 5: Follow Your Dreams
..............................
Inoran looked at his friends frustrated face. Js jaw was clenched, and his
eyebrows were knotted over his closed eyes as if bracing himself. He took a deep breath
and started. "Inoran, you might not want to hear this, but please. Just listen. I
swear that everything Im saying is true."
As he listened to Js stumbling explanation, Inoran felt his emotions piling up
rapidly, layer after layer. At first he felt confusion, then doubt at Js words.
Kaori wouldnt--couldnt be like that...could she? But as J went on, Inoran
realized that he was being totally earnest. Then he felt angry, and incredibly hurt that
she had played him for a fool. But underneath it all was a strange relief at the fact that
J hadnt betrayed him, after all.
When J finished, he stared at the floor tensely. He had talked determinedly, not daring to
look in Inorans eyes, afraid that he would see disbelief or anger. Disgusted at his
own weakness--after all I didnt do anything wrong, what am I afraid of?-- he raised
his gaze to Inoran with almost a challenging look.
Then he almost sighed in relief when he saw apology in those eyes and not-- and not
something else.
"J-- Im sorry. I should have listened to you."
I shouldnt have thought that you would do something like that, shouldnt have
doubted our
friendship, he added silently. "I just really--really liked her. I feel like...like
such an idiot!" His hands came up, pushed over his forehead and hid his face.
J felt an intense, helpless compassion for him. He could recognize Inorans gesture
of hurt. Wanting to do something, but not knowing what, he put ahand on Inos
shoulder in a gesture of clumsy sympathy. "I guess she wasnt the right one for
you," he said, trying to make it joking. "But hey, with that idol face of yours,
youll have all the girls you can handle! If Tokyo Pro was willing to scout you, the
Kanagawa girls will be jumping into your bed!"
Inoran couldnt help but look up and smile at Js words. "Dont
worry," he replied wryly.
"Worry about what?" J asked, wondering if Inoran thought he was being too
concerned.
"When I get all those girls, I promise to share some with you!"
............................................................................
That had been months ago. Despite his light words, there was no denying that Inoran felt
the blow of Kaoris lies. He became even shyer and withdrawn, especially around
girls. J saw it and ground his teeth, but didnt know how to help his friend. Better
to let time take care of it, he thought. Besides, we have enough problems now that the
band is breaking up. Were losing both our drummer and vocalist to college, how are
we going to keep up the band? And we sure as hell do need one, especially if Im
going to make music my life.
He slammed his fist against the lockers. What the fuck should I do? I dont know
whats going to happen. Maybe I should just go to college and be an English teacher.
But what about my music? What about my ambition? Should I just throw them away? He stood
there, lost in his thoughts. Just then, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned
around
and saw Inoran looking at him with an inquiring expression.
"Hey J."
"Hey."
"So what are you going to do?" J asked his best friend. "With your life, I
mean."
Inoran, seeing that he was troubled and serious, thought for a minute before answering. He
didnt want to influence J too much.
I dont want to pull him into this, its his choice and his life, but I know
what I wish he would choose...
"Its like what Nakamura sensei said; you gotta follow your dreams. I know what
my dream
is--ever since I saw Ichiro I knew what I wanted. But everyones dream is
different."
J said nothing, slowly digesting this advice. After a long pause, he looked up at Inoran.
"You want to be a famous guitarist?"
"Hai," replied Inoran, a little startled.
"You gonna need a bass in your band too?"
Relieved, Inoran smiled. He wouldnt have to lose his friend; they could find their
dream together. He blew out a breath as he felt a long-time dread removed from his chest,
and then in typical fashion forgot about it entirely. "Well, since you think that
way, Ive got
some good news for you."
"Oh yeah? Whats that?"
"I found us a drummer."
"Really? No shit? Thats great!" J said, starting to get excited. I knew
it, I knew it was right!
"Chotto matte, theres a condition. He has a friend, a guitarist he wants to be
in the band too." [Aki: Guess who? ^_^]
"A guitarist? But we already have you," J frowned. "What do you know about
this friend?"
"Ah--nothing."
"Nothing?!?"
"Hes kind of a lone wolf, I guess. His names..."
The two new members of Lunacy, Shinya and Sugizo, proved to be perfect for the band.
Shinya was an undeniably talented drummer, and his humor and good temper came in handy as
often as his drumming did. He had an almost uncanny knack for smothering tempers with a
joke just as they were about to flare. It was hard to understand how he and Sugizo could
be such good friends since they were incredibly different. Night and day, J frequently
joked. Shinya was cheerful and loud; when it came to the band, he didnt care about
his image so much as throwing himself into the rhythm of music. When he drummed, he was as
passionate as any of them, but in between he was any teenage boy, more interested in
getting to his next meal than finding fame. He and Inoran got along well, and Shinya often
went to watch Disney movies with Inoran, something which J had never much enjoyed. Shinya
didnt mind showing his feelings either, and could in fact be downright sentimental.
Sugizo, on the other hand, was a puzzle. He was sometimes silent, sometimes arrogant.
Talented, no doubt--and a tangle of prickly feelings and adolescent surges of emotion
which were somewhat alien to both boys. Even J, whose temper and enthusiasm occasionally
carried him off, was baffled by the sudden mood swings. They had looked at him somewhat
dubiously at first, but within the trial period there was no conflict, so he too was
eventually accepted as a member. Inoran wasnt one to protest the competition as
guitarist. In fact he welcomed Sugizos added input.
This is what were about, finding new depths to music, and its more flexible
with two guitarists. His style is so different from mine...well, the more variety, the
better.
But I wish we could find a vocalist! So much music, no one to sing it, Inoran thought,
blowing out smoke reflectively.
J, for his part, was thinking much the same thing. As Inoran stubbed out his cigarette
against the curb, J was walking back from Sugizos house, thinking about their
voice-less state.
Where can I find one? I doubt hes just going to fall into our laps the way our
drummer and guitarist did...if we had a voice, the right voice, we could make it, I know
we could! Dammit, weve got talent. I can feel it. But how are we going to find a
good
vocalist? He tried remembering all the vocalists he had known in high school. No one
seemed right...they needed someone with a flexible but strong sound-- and the only one
with potential had graduated and gone on to college.
As he rounded the corner, absorbed in his problem, he ran into someone coming from the
other direction. J grunted as a skinny elbow dug into his ribs. [Aki: guess who now?] They
both stumbled back. "Sorry," J said briefly. The other person straightened and
said nothing, flicking an annoyed glare at J. To his surprise, the owner of the long black
hair and the skinny elbows was undeniably masculine.
Not only was he masculine, but those eyes, located between high cheekbones and strong
brows, were undeniably familiar. He stared after the rapidly retreating figure, trying to
place just where he had seen that face before.
Funny, I keep feeling like the last time I saw him, he had more makeup on...why would that
be? Must be from another band...Ill go ask Ino, maybe he can help me.
Damn, Ive got a feeling that this is important.
Inoran scrunched his brows in thought. "The bands that weve seen recently?
Well, what about that bandfest we had right before graduation? We saw a bunch of other
groups there. Was this guy one of them?"
"Yes!" said J suddenly. "Now I remember. The vocalist from
Slaughter!"
Inoran cocked his ear at the word "vocalist."
"Are you thinking what Im thinking?"
"Depends. How good was he?"
"I remember wishing our vocalist could do as well."
Inoran got to his feet. "Youve said enough for me. Lets go find this
guy."
J looked at him. "How? We dont what he looks like, what his name is--"
"Its Rayla. Now that youve told me who he is I remember that much. We
talked a little, actually. I think his real name is Ryu or something."
A small surge of triumph swept over him, leaving a tingling surge of confidence in its
wake.
If they really could recruit him--
Inoran sat back down with a thump. "But youre right. I havent got a clue
where we can
find him." J found himself wishing that he had chased after Ryu or Rayla or whoever
he was.
"Where did you run into him anyway?"
"Coming back from Sugizos place, on the corner by the grocers. What,
youre not going to hang around hoping hes going to come back?"
"You had a better plan?"
"Well...no."
As it turned out, though, they didnt have to resort to that.
End of Chapter 5. To be continued...
You guys must wondering, "Hey?!? Where does the JxIno part come in? Theres NO
romance in this blasted fic!" ^^;; Gomen gomen! This is my first fic and I just
cant fit it all in at once. Besides, like I said before, if all you want is sex this
is the wrong story to read. Its just meant to entertain people who love to read
about their favorite band members, na. I havent found any stories that talk about LS
before they acquired silver pants, pink hair, playboy image and whatnot, but I think that
their past has a lot to do with what they are too. Besides, they are an interesting bunch!
If you want to see some bios go to Rockin Heaven, to whom I am forever indebted.
Besides, Ive often wondered just why all we fans like to set up jrocker x jrocker
stories. I dont know about the rest of you, but Im totally heterosexual, but I
definitely have fun writing and reading these fanfics. I dont think were all
just a bunch of hentai, so how do you explain it?
My reason is as follows: I like to read about them b/c Im a fan, and anything about
my beloved bands interests me. I like to write them because hell, theyre so
beautiful that we all fall in love with them, so why shouldnt they fall in love with
each other? ^^
Anyway, if you have any thoughts on this topic, or feedback on the fanfic, drop me a line
at aki2000@xpres.net. Thanks very much! Chapter 6
will bring the formation of a complete Luna Sea, and hopefully some more development of
the JxIno thing!