Sketches of Tenchi 7: Cosmic Supernatural Threats
A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE fanfic
by HKMiller
17 September 2000
Featuring characters created by Hiroki Hayashi and Masaki
Kajishima, also copyright AiC and Pioneer.
Incidental characters are from or inspired by other sources.
I'll try for complete credits in the notes.
And the usual lime warning applies.
- - - - - - - - - -
Deep in the darkness of interstellar space, insensate strands of
a deeper darkness drifted through the void. A vague awareness
came to one such strand, which changed direction and began to
drift towards our solar system. Slowly, others followed.
- - - - - - - - - -
The dawn sun shone in through the window in Tenchi's bedroom.
Birds twittered outside. Tenchi slowly awoke, feeling the warmth
and pressure from bodies lying on both sides. Wait; bodies?
Weren't Aeka and Ryouko supposed to be guarding Mayuka?
Uneasy, Tenchi sat up and slowly looked around. Misao, in
pajamas. Yugi, clad in a revealing negligee. On his other side,
Rei, wearing nothing at all.
"AAAHHH!" Tenchi screamed, leapt up from the bed and dashed out
the door. "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. How'm I ever going to
explain this?"
- - - - - - - - - -
Bright and cheery, Mihoshi and Hikaru entered Mayuka's room.
"Aeka-san? Ryouko-san? We're here to relieve..."
Mihoshi carefully looked around. No Aeka. No Ryouko. Just
Mayuka on the floor, picking up and trying to put into her mouth
a large purple gem somebody must have dropped. Another gem, cyan
in color, sat nearby on the floor.
"No, no, Mayuka-chan. You mustn't eat that." Mihoshi plucked the
gem from Mayuka's grip and handed it to Hikaru. "Hikaru-chan, can
you get that other gem while I feed Mayuka?"
"Sure, Mihoshi-chan!" chirped the young red-head. "I'll go ask
everybody whose these are!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi emerged from the lavatory to find Rei standing directly
outside the door, still unclothed, staring at him
expressionlessly.
"This is odd," she said in a monotone. "Males of your age
normally welcome the opportunity to impregnate young females."
"Err," Tenchi replied desperately, "aren't you a little young?
Being a mother is very hard work."
"I've been told that I look like a mother." Rei continued
looking at Tenchi expectantly.
Tenchi glanced over at Yugi nearby, who was lifting the edge of
her negligee and smiling seductively. Fortunately, Tenchi found
this fairly easy to ignore, given Yugi's apparent age. "And YOU,"
Tenchi asserted, "are too young to get pregnant at all!" Without
waiting for a reply, Tenchi dashed off.
Yugi dropped her act and glared at Tenchi's departing back.
"That's what YOU think. Maybe I'll just dispense with the
'pregnant' part and finish the rest of the plan."
- - - - - - - - - -
Over breakfast, many of the remaining fiancees confronted Washuu.
A few still held plushie dolls of Washuu, impaled with stilettos
or with smoking holes through their middles.
"Forget it, Washuu! You're not scaring us off! We're ALL going
to marry Prince Tenchi!" A murmur of general agreement arose.
"No more smirfiends! No more poohbares!"
Tenchi descended the stairs into view just as one dissenting voice
rose up. "OHOHOHOHOHO!" chortled the tall, chesty woman in the
cape. "THIS is how you punish her, you fools!"
Nahga pointed a hand at Washuu and shot a beam directly at the
unprotected genius. Horrified, Tenchi watched as Washuu's body
blackened and started to fall.
"STOP!" Tenchi heard a voice which was, and was not, Washuu's,
come from that hidden direction he was only beginning to be able
to sense. He blinked again as he realized that nobody else was
moving. Indeed, except for himself, time seemed frozen.
"REWIND!" Tenchi's jaw dropped as time rewound itself to just
before Nahga's beam touched Washuu's flesh.
"STOP!" Washuu then moved out of the way of the beam and
muttered to herself about carelessness. Snapping her fingers,
another plushie doll appeared, which she positioned where she'd
just been standing.
"Oh, Tenchi-dono. Still conscious?" Washuu strolled over and
kissed Tenchi on the cheek. "Good, good. You're coming along.
You'll make a good husband for us yet." With an amused glint in
her eye, one hand gave Tenchi a quick squeeze lower down, then
she turned back to the still tableau, putting one arm around
Tenchi.
"PLAY!"
Washuu waited a few beats, then spoke up. "I have a few more of
those dolls if you really like making charcoal, Nahga. But I can
think of MUCH better ways to prepare for a barbeque!"
Nahga's eyes popped out as she looked back and forth from the
charcoal doll to the live Washuu. Most of the other fiancees
simply murmured in resignation.
- - - - - - - - - -
Outside on the veranda, Shiria, Pikko, and Teruzi conferred while
Menori played. With a sudden "poof", Byuutii appeared in the air
above Menori and backwinged to land on her shoulder, wrapping her
tail around Menori's neck. Menori put her sitar down so she
could stroke Byuutii's head. The golden reptile's eyes whirled in
appreciation.
"Oh! Something happened last night up at the shrine!" Menori
reported to the others.
"Good. What does she know?" asked Shiria.
"Neither Byuutii nor the others actually saw anyone, but... doors
opened and closed on their own. Raaki smelled a male human in the
shrine office which he couldn't see. Unfortunately, my pets are a
little vague on the sequence of events."
"Invisible, huh?" Shiria smiled.
"And he's still hanging around here," Pikko added.
"He's OURS!" they chorused.
- - - - - - - - - -
In the living room, Mihoshi sipped tea while watching a comedy
show on the interstellar television.
Next to her, Kiyone muttered to herself. "I can't BELIEVE those
three girls! Sneaking into Tenchi's bed like that!"
On the screen, one white blob was saying to another, dissheveled
looking one, "What happened to you? Hot date? Busy night?"
The other replied, "Neither. I was in the middle of the street,
minding my own business, when I bumped into Princess Aeka of
Jurai." The blob paused for two seconds of laugh track. "She
dragged me into the gutter and started to have her way with me."
More laughter. "But just as I was getting interested, she passed
out." The laugh track went wild.
"Oh, calm down, Kiyone," replied Mihoshi. "I'm sure Misao just
had a bad dream or something. You know, like Sasami does."
"All three 'had a bad dream'? I don't think so, Mihoshi. At
least two of them are up to something underhanded with m... our
Tenchi."
"They're all his fiancees as much as we are. Don't get so worked
up about it."
"They don't have earrings. Tenchi hasn't personally proposed to
any of them," Kiyone insisted.
"Oh." Mihoshi considered that, then waved it off. "I'm sure
that's just an oversight on Tenchi's part. He'll get around to
it one of these days."
"Grrr."
- - - - - - - - - -
Near Saturn, Yukinojo woke up and pondered these new sensor
readings. "Too diffuse to get a directional reading, but there
is a match in the Class A Cosmic Supernatural Threat database.
I'd better report this... TRY to report this... to Mihoshi-dono.
Oh, I DO wish Mihoshi would remember to re-enter Kiyone's phone
number one of these days."
- - - - - - - - - -
"And in the last phase just before orgasm, Kiyone responds best to
manual stimuli applied directly to this surface here," Washuu
lectured, tapping the appropriate spot with her pointer for
emphasis, "and oral stimuli applied here."
Suspended a few feet away, Tenchi nodded before he could catch
himself. "I notic..." He shut up.
Kiyone blushed. "Can you let me down now, Washuu? I think
Tenchi-dono gets the idea."
"Apparently so." Washuu smiled and pressed a button. Cables
retracted, freeing both Kiyone and Tenchi. They grabbed their
clothes and started to dress. Washuu took a moment to smirk at a
nearby table on which lay two large gems, one cyan, one purple.
"Oh, by the way, Tenchi-dono, I've installed a complete full-
spectrum/full-sensory recording device in your bedroom. The
results are beamed directly to a secure location here in my
laboratory. You'll be able to relive any particularly good nights
any time you want!"
"WASHUU-CHAN! I DON'T WANT THAT!"
"Oh, you're no fun at all," Washuu pouted. "Not even your best
nights with Kiyone-dono?"
Desperately, Kiyone tried to think of some way to change the
subject. "Washuu-chan, can you answer a question? What IS
Yuzuha? Why is she still alive?"
Washuu grinned. "Oh, that's an easy one. Yuzuha can't be killed,
any more than you could kill... well, never mind. The point,"
she said as charts and diagrams appeared around her out of thin
air, "is that Yuzuha is more of a force of nature than a person,
at least as you think of people. If you cut her in half with the
Light Hawk Sword, she might take longer to reform than if you cut
her in half with a Master Key, but she eventually takes shape
again either way. She IS the darkness. As long as there is light
somewhere, she'll exist in some shape, somewhere."
"So you're saying she's immortal."
"Yep."
"And now she's marrying Tenchi too."
"Well, sort of. Hopefully in name only."
"And she'll outlive all of us."
"Well, I didn't say THAT."
- - - - - - - - - -
"What do you mean, interrogate the tree?" Teruzi complained as
she was dragged along the path.
"My dear Teruzi, it's quite simple. That tree," Shiria said,
pointing ahead at Funaho, "is Prince Youshou's Royal Tree."
"And you," Pikko added, "are the galaxy's most powerful
xenotelepath. This isn't even the first time you've communicated
with a tree; remember the Hana species?"
Still grumbling, Teruzi settled down cross-legged in front of the
tree, closed her eyes, and concentrated. Shiria and Pikko
settled down, prepared for a long wait.
Teruzi's eyes suddenly popped open. "He's not old at all! It's
just an illusion! Funaho's had complete life support all this
time! Youshou really looks like this." At Teruzi's command,
narrow beams of light emitted by Funaho's leaves formed a
life-size hologram in front of the three girls.
The three ladies licked their lips. "WOW!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, an invisible Youshou suddenly sneezed. "All these new
Juraian viruses those girls've introduced..."
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi and Kiyone left Washuu's lab, then stopped and glanced at
each other, then at the floor.
"Ummm..."
"Errr..." They started simultaneously. Both broke off.
After a pause, Tenchi continued. "I never did... tell you how
wonderful it was."
Kiyone blushed. "Uh, thanks. You were good, too."
"No, I wasn't. That was the point. I'd just come from... that
fiasco with Aeka and Ryouko. I was nervous and unsure of myself.
And then you offered to help."
Kiyone looked into Tenchi's eyes. "I meant what I said, Tenchi.
I'm here for the rest of my life, and I'll help you any way that I
can. Just one thing."
"What's that?"
"Don't EVER ask me to bed with Mihoshi at the same time. I've had
to share too much of my life with her as it is. I need something
that I don't have to share with her."
Tenchi sighed. "You deserve more, not to have to share your
husband with anyone at all." He looked down at the floor.
"Neither you nor I have that option, Tenchi," Kiyone said, gently
raising his head back up to look at her. "It's okay. I can
share a house with Mihoshi. Just not... you, in bed. Okay?"
Tenchi smiled wanly. "Okay."
- - - - - - - - - -
Standing in mid-air high above the house, Yugi contemplated means
of destruction. Suddenly she started, then looked up into the
sky. "Oh? Well, aren't YOU interesting? Congealing in this
solar system? Too slowly?
Yugi smiled. "I'll be glad to help."
- - - - - - - - - -
Pikko cackled madly as she worked away at the capture devices.
Shiria sighed as she watched, occasionally commenting on elements
of the design or handing Pikko tools when requested.
Gradually, four yellow metal spheres, each the size of a softball,
took shape.
"We're going to use these to capture Prince Youshou?" Teruzi
looked at the spheres in disbelief.
"They will detect him anywhere within a fifty meter radius, and
then, when hurled, immobilize him completely. It's a foolproof
plan!" cackled Pikko. "Maybe I'll call them 'Pikko-Balls'".
- - - - - - - - - -
Most of the girls watched Tenchi spar with Hikaru-chan by the edge
of the lake, with bokkens. Several other young ladies held
bokkens as they awaited their turn.
A sour Asuka glared at Hikaru's expression. "That woman is on
drugs," she muttered. "Nobody's that cheery all the time."
"Perhaps Prince Tenchi is on drugs too," Rei observed. "He seems
abnormally resistant to seduction."
"You're SICK, Wonder Girl."
A green bubble of light appeared on the lawn next to Hikaru. It
blinked out, and three Juraian noblemen stood in its place.
Hikaru stopped, staring at the newcomers openmouthed. "Older
brothers? Why are you here?"
The oldest, Satoru, pointed a lightsaber at Tenchi. "EVIL
SEDUCER! We challenge you! Anyone who wants to date our sister
Hikaru must defeat all three of us! And even then, you must start
out being pen-pals!"
"What are you talking about?" Hikaru demanded angrily. "Our
parents arranged this! My best friends are here!" Hikaru
gestured over to where Fuu and Umi stood. "And Prince Tenchi is
so CUTE!" Hikaru grabbed Tenchi's free arm and hugged it, an
enormous grin on her face.
Shiria observed to Pikko, "This could be our chance. Prince
Youshou is bound to be nearby to watch his student answer this
challenge."
"Agreed. Distribute the balls and spread out."
Reluctantly, Tenchi produced the Tenchi-ken and assumed a position
for the first challenge. Hikaru's oldest brother stepped forward.
The fight began. Tenchi quickly found that this would be no easy
match.
"Our family have been the hereditary swordsmasters of Jurai for
thousands of years! Our great-grandfather taught your grandfather
everything he knows!" Tenchi's assailant crowed as he advanced.
Tenchi found he was hard pressed just to defend himself.
- - - - - - - - - -
High above, Yugi smiled. Blackness swirled around her, forming
into something tangible. In mere moments, the Destroyer would
live again, given shape by the thoughts of his prospective
victims.
- - - - - - - - - -
Scattered around the crowd, four yellow spheres carried by four
young ladies started beeping simultaneously. Beams of light shot
from them to illuminate a hitherto-invisible figure standing in
the midst of the crowd.
"Oops," managed Youshou.
"Prince Youshou!" Four female voice caroled as they hurled their
Pikko-Balls. "WE CHOOSE YOU!"
- - - - - - - - - -
On the veranda, munching popcorn as she watched the challenge,
Washuu heard a sudden beep and looked up. "Uh oh."
"What is it, _Mom_?" snarled Ryouko. Next to her, Aeka also eyed
Washuu with distaste. Beyond Aeka, Mihoshi burped Mayuka on her
shoulder.
"Someone's summoning..." Washuu typed a few keystrokes. "Gozer
the Destroyer." Washuu blinked. "Here. Now. Well, it's been
quite a while since I've seen HIM. Not that he ever looks the
same."
- - - - - - - - - -
Satoru knocked the Tenchi-ken from Tenchi's hands just as a large
black bubble dropped from the sky. It popped, revealing a
ten-story-tall large yellow monster. Its snarling face was framed
with two colored patches on its cheeks. It strode forward on its
short stubby legs, snarling at Tenchi, Hikaru's brothers, and the
mob of ladies. Its gaze fixed on the paralyzed Prince Youshou.
In a high, squeaky voice, it spoke.
"I CHEWS YOUSHOU!"
The mouth of the Destroyer opened to swallow Youshou whole.
"GRANDPA!" Tenchi yelled, then concentrated. An insignia appeared
on his forehead, his clothes changed to a pink kimono, and a sword
of pure light appeared in his hand. He leapt at the monster, which
turned. Cosmic forces flared. Beams and blows glanced off
Tenchi's Light Hawk Wings.
"Tenchi!" Ryouko and Aeka cried simultaneously, then leapt into
the fight.
Several dozen female eyes turned to glare at Washuu. She had the
grace to at least look apologetic. "Sorry, not guilty. This
time."
Hikaru's oldest brother watched the battle silently, then turned
to his younger brothers. "We challenged HIM?" They shrugged
helplessly back. "Let's just go." The three beamed away.
Hikaru herself, however, was enchanted by the monster, fists
beneath chin and eyes wide open. "It's so CUTE!" Shaking their
heads, Fuu and Umi started to drag Hikaru away.
While Tenchi struggled with the monster, Mihoshi turned Mayuka
around. "Now, Mayuka, let's watch your Daddy fight, okay?"
As the noise increased, Mayuka began to cry. Beams from her eyes
caught Hikaru, Fuu, and Umi in mid-stride, instantly replacing
the three with red, green, and blue jewels.
"Oh, no, Mayuka, that's very naughty of you. You mustn't do
that," exclaimed Mihoshi.
Ryouko carved chunks from the Destroyer with her lightsword.
Aeka fired blasts from her hands which did some damage.
Yohko and Illyana swung their soulswords, but the Destroyer
simply reformed after the swords passed through it.
Washuu began making comments in a loud voice about how very
often things like this happened in the Masaki household. The
few fiancees in a position to hear her looked quite upset.
Loud roaring monsters are not conducive to calming down upset
children. More eyebeams from Mayuka caught more of the fiancees
who managed to dodge the Destroyer's lumbering feet, crushing
fists, or cosmic blasts, and they found themselves suddenly and
involuntarily crystalline.
Concentrating furiously, Tenchi managed to extend the length of
his Light Hawk Sword. He leapt, then sliced downward, chopping
the Destroyer in two. With a despairing moan, it dispersed into
black threads which drifted back into the sky. Washuu captured
a few for later analysis.
Blinking, Tenchi looked around. He, Ryouko, and Aeka were the
only people still standing (or, in Ryouko's case, floating) on
the battleground. Washuu, Mihoshi, and Mayuka still sat on the
veranda. Mihoshi was crying over a teal-colored gem.
Quite a few other jewels littered the battleground.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Well, I'm glad THAT'S over," commented Washuu. A general grunt
of agreement echoed. Ryouko, Aeka, Mihoshi, Sasami, and
Tenchi all plopped themselves down on a sofa in exhaustion.
With a snap of her fingers, Washuu restored a blinking Kiyone
from her jeweled state.
"Oh, and Kiyone-dono? You probably shouldn't be upsetting
Mayuka like that, given your condition."
"What are you talking about, Washuu?"
"You're pregnant."
THE END (for now).
This and other fanfics (including parts 1-6) stored at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5058
Gary Kleppe first thought of "I chews you", in some random
response email on the FFML. I'll return the idea to him someday,
honest.
K'thardin gave me the idea to give Mayuka Yuzuha's eyebeams,
which reduce people to edible jewels.
Hikaru, Fuu, Umi, and Hikaru's brothers were created by CLAMP;
Rei and Asuka are owned by Gainax;
Nahga is owned by ...;
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