Subject: [FFML] [Vandread][One Hour Fic]That Tube Between His Legs
Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 14:03:33 -0700
From: Donny Cheng 
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Disclaimer:  All characters portrayed in this story are the property
of GONZO Studios and co.

[Spoilers]

This story takes place after the end of the series, so there is a bit
of a spoiler.  Though, not really a big one.

That Tube Between His Legs

by

Donny Cheng

      Jura lifted her wrist to her nose and sniffed experimentally.
She smiled at the smell; seductive, alluring, and supple.  Her smile
fell when she saw Barnett's image in the bathroom mirror, glowering.
The perfume bottle was quickly and silently pushed aside, and she went
back to combing her hair again.

      Barnett's frown deepened when it seemed that Jura was content to
let the unasked question about what this primping was all about.  They
each knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from Jura herself.
"Hibiki looked happy today.  This is the third day in a row he's gone
to Dita's room."

      If Jura was phased by the outright mentioning of Hibiki, she was
careful not to show it.  "Yes, he does seem happier these days.  I
haven't seen him in his grumbling woman hating self for a while."

      "Do you suppose Dita has changed his mind about us?  Maybe show
him all the things a woman could offer like she's been doing with all
those home cooked meals?  Except this requires him to play in her
room?"

      At this, Jura finally turned to glare at Barnett, realizing that
the woman was not going to let up any time soon.  "Okay, I'm going to
talk with Hibiki again.  There, you happy?"

      "No," Barnett shot back.  "How can I be happy knowing that
you're interesting in someone else and that it's a man of all things.
You're
slipping away from me."

      Jura's face softened as she walked up to Barnett and hugged her
before she could protest.  "Is that what this is all about?  You're
scared that I'll leave?  I've had flings before and you've never had a
problem with it and I've always come back to you, Barnett."

      "All with woman, people I knew, and with me sometimes
participating.  T-this is different," Barnett said, shivering in
Jura's arms.

      Jura let go of Barnett and stared at her long time companion
incredulously, "You want to join in, is that what you're saying?  I
have
no problem with that.  I just thought that, well, with him being a man
and..."

      "No, no," Barnett said, holding her hands with warding gestures,
before reluctantly putting them down.  "Well, if you squint, he makes
a really cute girl."

      Jura laughed.  "Okay, well, with you with me, why don't we cut
to the chase?  Hibiki should be in his room right now, sleeping.  The
last two times I went there, he shoved me out of the room saying he
was tired.  But, I noticed he's been weakening lately.  I think, like
you said, that Dita is part of that reason."

      "So, what is it do you think they do?  How much fun can they
have playing with each other.  He doesn't have these," Barnett said,
hefting her generous chest up for Jura's inspection.  "I heard he
comes with a 'bump' down there."

      "Well, so do...," Jura started to say but stopped when Barnett
held out her hands to indicate the hypothesized length and girth of
Hibiki's button.  "Well, maybe it just means it's extra sensitive.  We
won't know standing here all day."

                        * * * * *

      Hibiki looked at the pills.  Duero had said to take just a few
to help him sleep.  He hadn't been getting much rest with Dita pulling
him into her room every night recently to 'play'.  Who knew that woman
could be so much fun that they'd make him forget about sleeping.  Dita
said she had something extra special planned tomorrow and he didn't
want their fun to end as early as it did tonight because he was
tired.  So, he took half the bottle.

                        * * * * *

      Jura and Barnett gave up yelling, fearing the rest of the ship
would hear and wonder what was going on, as unlikely as it was with
Hibiki living so far from the others.  "What a waste," Jura frowned.

      "Actually, this is perfect," Jura. said, reaching for Hibiki's
covers.  "You know how much of a fuss he'll put up if we did this
while he was awake.  Lets see how different he is.  Come on, I know
you're just as curious as I am."

      Barnett looked around, making sure the coast was clear before
nodding cautiously.  Hibiki looked even cuter asleep, so much more
softer and gentle then the constantly animated, wildly moving face she
was used to.

      "See, what did I tell you," Barnett said, when Jura pulled off
Hibiki's blanket with a flourish, immediately rushing to the man's
side,
forgetting her previous inhibitions.

      "I don't remember seeing this," Jura said, pointing the the tent
like structure forming from Hibiki's midsection.

      "I heard Bart call it 'morning wood' when one of the bridge
personnel asked him when we caught him sleeping while piloting the
ship."

      "You mean it's made out of wood?" Jura asked poking the
structure and finding out that it was rather hard.  "Is this an extra
bone like that rib thing, Duero was talking about as one of our
differences."

      "I don't think it's made out of wood or bone.  It's hard, but I
think I can bend it," Barnett said, demonstrating.

      Hibiki groaned, making Barnett and Jura jump out of way, ready
with a bunch of excuses.  But, he didn't wake up.

      "Hey, he sounds just like you when I do that to yours," Jura
commented.

      Barnett blushed, "Maybe it is the same thing, then.  Let's make
sure."

      Jura and Barnett nodded to each other before pulling at the
man's pants' waistline.  "Wow, that's incredibly ugly," Jura noted.

      "I don't know about that.  I mean, if we give it a shave like
yours..."

      "True... hey, how does he pee?" Jura asked, manhandling the
upturned stick this way and that, trying to see where men hid it and
finding only a sac at the base that seemed to contain two little
balls.  Men were contructed strangely, she thought, as she lifted the
sack to find the pee hole, which caused Hibiki to groan even loader.
"Ewww, that answers my question," she said, wiping her hands on the
blanket she pulled off previously.

      "Wait, that's not urine.  Look.  I remember one of the girls
saying that their pee color is just the same as ours.  This looks sort
of creamy."

      "Creamy?  You think it's like when I did what I did to him to
you?"

      Red-faced, Barnett nodded.  "You know, I've been thinking.
Remember when we joked about one of us missing something that other
night?"

      "What night... oh, you mean _that_ night," Jura remembered.  It
was one of the few nights where neither was upside down.  "You mean,
that that something is that?"

      "Well, look at it.  Doesn't it remind you of Rubber-chan?"

      "No, it's not as big and it had two ends that look like that.
It does look a bit like Torpedo-san."

      "No, it's got a bulb on the end.  Maybe a smaller cousin to
Ravager-sama?"

      Jura nodded, before suddenly finding a lack of things to say.
"So..."

      "...so."

      "Dibs!" the both said at the same time.

                        * * * * *

      "Jura and Barnett," where have you two been, Meia asked.
"Drills are going to start in another minute.  The two women, rather
than look admonished, had silly little grins on their faces.

                        * * * * *

      "Alien-san, Alien-san, wake up," Dita yelled.  She pouted.
Looks like today was going to be a bust.  After she worked so hard to
find the special edition Street Fighter Omega V too.

                        * * * * *

The End. (maybe)

Author's Notes:

Well, I'm still alive for those that haven't noticed.  Been busy with
a creative fiction class I've been taking so have taken a break from
writing fanfics since last year.  Didn't plan on coming back to
fanfics until I was done the course, but seeing as how this is going
to be last day until the list comes back up, I thought, what the heck,
and will post this.  Anyway, enjoy this and the other fic for now
until I get my feet wet again and the list comes back up :P

Btw, I have since lost my backlog of email since about last week, and
planned to answer the backlog of messages after I came back out of
retirement, but that option is no longer available to me.  If you've
sent me a letter and I haven't replied and you want a reply, please
send again.

My page will be updated either today or tomorrow and if you want to
see the original fics I've been busy with, they'll be put up too.

--
Anime Fanboy and Fanfiction Writer ^_^
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/4537
ICQ #: 13236148

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