Disclaimer: All characters portrayed in this story are the property of
Naoko Takeuchi and co.
C & C welcomed.
Warhorse
By
Donny Cheng
I raised the knife up and looked at it. I could see my reflection
on its clear flat side. It was sharp enough. I hesitated though and
lowered it again to the sharpening stone.
Why did I stop? I had made a decision and I was going to go
through with it. Had any other man done the same, I would have laughed
in his face. If it had been one of my men, I would have banished him
from my command. I raised the knife up again and looked at the flat
side of the blade once more. This time, I did not see my own image. I
saw ponytails. Two long blond ponytails.
* * * * *
I dropped to the ground and knelt before the girl... no, woman
despite her appearance. I looked up when I felt her hands touch my
shoulders. An intimate touch. "So, you accept?" I asked.
"No."
"I see," I said stiffly and got up off my knees, feeling like a
fool. I towered over her, yet felt small as a mouse when she looked at
me; her calm demeanor never wavering. I imagined how I must have looked
to her. A tall, brute of a man, whose experiences were shown clearly on
his battle scared, worn face. She could have been my daughter I thought
irrelevantly as those eyes continued to bore into me.
"I need people to protect and to keep the peace. I have no need
for generals."
Instead of sounding like a dismissal, it seemed plain to me that
she was asking me for help. Or maybe it was just what I wanted to hear.
"I'm an old warhorse. I've killed maybe a hundred men before you were
out of your diapers...."
She stopped me with a simple smile, knowing what I was leading
towards. "Habits can be broken. No one will sacrifice their lives
under me."
"And if people are killed...." This time the smile that stopped
me was a sad one. She looked down for a moment before looking up at
me... and I understood. She had meant what she said. I think she would
give up everything before even one life, even one that was not worthy of
it, died.
* * * * *
I woke up sweating in my bed. My wife lay beside me, still softly
sleeping. I looked at her fondly, if not passionately. She constantly
amazed me with how much patience a human could possess. Then again, she
was the head maid of Serenity's quarters. Even a patience that was
granted by the gods would be tested by _her_.
Guilt wallowed up within me as I looked down at my wife's sleeping
face. She was much too young for me. She was also my complete
opposite. I don't know how in the hell we'd manage to get married. As
it always did, whenever I tried to think of a reason, it came back to
Serenity.
The one thing I did share with my wife was an absolute devotion to
the petite young woman that turned out to be not as perfect I had had
first thought. Even now, I would not have been faulted if Mei-chan knew
that I had been dreaming of our shared love again. I knew she did the
same and was probably dreaming about the queen now. It was a common
joke between us that the reason we married each other was so that we
could get information from the other about the queen's daily activities
from our respective jobs. I wondered at times how much that was true.
An anger quickly arose within me as it always did when I woke up
from one of those dreams. Those blasted fools. Every one of them had
been touched by Serenity's light when she set the world free. However,
many of them shed away from that light. However much I wanted to
believe that all these people were bad, I knew that a good portion of
them were good, hard working, decent folk.
After a moment I felt my fist, which I had unconsciously clenched,
relax. I knew the reason for the anger was related to the fact that
some members of my previous command were part of the group that shunned
the light. The thought of them on the other side, sickened me.
Sickened me not because they were evil, as I knew they were not, but
because I could have been one of them.
I didn't know what it was that set me apart from my former
friends. We ate the same foods, worked at the same job, had the same
interests... even the same fears. Whether it was fear in the
unexplainable, mistrust in any form of governing body, or even disbelief
that a stranger would want to help you for no reason, a decade ago, I
would probably have agreed with them. A decade ago, however, I would
not have felt that light. It had been the first time in my life that I
knew that even if I were to die, someone would weep for me. Someone I
didn't even know. Someone I had to find and would pledge my life to, as
I knew they had done for mine.
I learned a lesson when I saw my former friends leave in droves.
When I looked into it, I saw my own faults as clear as day compared to
the soul so pure it could melt the ice around me. The Light that freed
us was not something everyone could embrace. Not even good, hard
working, decent folk.
* * * * *
"Really, General... you don't have to worry about it," the greasy
man smiled. His smile was equally slick.
"I am honor bound just as the others that participate here are. I
will have the money here for you before it is owed." Then _I_ smiled.
The squirrelly faced operator flinched back accordingly. Only two
people could look at my smile at not flinch away. One was my wife. The
other was Serenity.
The operator's kind always angered me. Not all the people that
turned away from Serenity were bad and not all that stayed were good.
Why leave, most thought? They were safe here, and as long as they kept
their noses relatively clean, there was still profit to be made. Why
these would stay while my men would... I don't even bother. It was not
worth it as I had other more important matters to attend to.
While money was not really needed in Crystal Tokyo, it did not
mean that it was not useful in other parts of the world. And although
everyone was touched by The Light and were freed, it was clear that
human vices remained. As did mine.
Thus, betting parlors like these were able to operate outside the
city limits, outside prying eyes. Some human souls craved it and
whatever it craved, there was always enough people with loose morals
around to offer it, provided they got something in return. It was my
one of my many weaknesses I could not get rid of. Whether it was
drinking or smoking or... gambling, I could not stop it even if my queen
asked me. And because of it, I would be forced to do what she hated the
most. My face was a hardened one, and emotions did not show on it. If
it did, I would have thought that it would have been cracking.
* * * * *
Ignoring the two ponytails that seemed to dance in the light of
the blade against the flickering flames, I did it.
* * * * *
I notice her as she walked down the hall. I immediately kneel
as her procession passed. The Senshi around her give me mixed looks.
Many of them did not like me, knowing about my past. I did not blame
them, if there was another man like me around the queen, I would not
have liked him either. This time she did not walk past me as she had
done recently because of urgent matters with the Black Moon. I am
shocked when I see the bright white dress pool on the floor. She is
kneeling.
I turn my head up to look at her. Tears stream down her face as
she gently took my left stump of an arm in both of her hands. No
words come out.
"Accident with some Youma that invaded the border of the city," I
lie. She could easily heal the injury with her powers and she knew that
I knew this. When I didn't ask her, I think she could guess what had
been on my mind.
She remained silent as she took her right hand and traced an old
scar on my face. "Oh?" she asked finally. I could sense multiple
messages in that one word question. She knew about my activities in my
free time. My heart nearly broke then as I realized this. But I do not
see scorn in her face.
The scar on my face seemed to burn as does my left arm, where she
touched me. I am not worthy of this. She was the first woman to ever
touch me this fondly, before even my wife. It had been another reason
that I held her above any other woman or man in my life. "Found some
lowlife scum also while I was out. He's in prison."
My debts would have been paid if I had killed that man. The
operators of the parlor were always especially nasty to people that
borrowed money and then used Crystal Tokyo as an asylum. But before I
could even think of killing him and bringing the head to them, thoughts
of tears from a woman held me back.
"You shouldn't stay out so late," she said after accepting my
answer with a sigh of relief. I think she was more relieved for my soul
than she was for her own conscience. I couldn't have loved her more
then.
"That won't be a problem anymore." And it was true for a change.
My hand would be a constant reminder to me of what I would have lost.
My appetite for gambling could have not been cured better.
When she made a move to get up I feel her fall into me, reminding
me that she is not infallible and giving me doubt. Maybe I thought all
of this up; she was not omniscient. I am wrong though when I feel her
hands wrap around me and give me a quick hug. She didn't trip.
The End. (maybe)
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