_Bitter Love Story_
A Sailor Moon fanfic by Angela Anderson
Sailor Moon is owned by Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Toei, and DiC. I didn't
invent it. Please don't sue me since I have nothing.
This is a pretty dark story. I had been reading a lot of stories about Mamoru
dying, and then Usagi turning to Kou Seiya and their living together in
happiness... and I decided to do something just a *tiny* bit different.
BTW, I am a fan of the Three Lights, and Seiya, although this fanfic hardly
makes it sound like it. If you want to make comments, send them to
Mearl_Dox@person.net If that doesn't work, try Mearl.Dox@person.net Enjoy!
_Bitter Love Story_
He watched them silently, as always. A dark, haunted glint in his eyes was
the only hint that he wasn't simply some jogger. It had been 3 years since
the StarLight senshi had first come to Earth. It had seemed to be a one-time
only thing, but then they came back again. And again. And again. Everytime
they came, Usako... *his* Usako... would spend all her free time at their
apartment, giggling and laughing over small things of no significance, in
seeming total innocence.
He knew better.
She was always so sweet, so gentle, and so pure. Now, though, when
she spoke to him, he always could feel something was different about her.
Every time he looked into her soft, blue eyes, he saw that thrice-cursed
foreign senshi reflected in them.
He remembered the day that she asked him why he didn't grow his hair
out. He hadn't meant to snap at her, to tell her that he wasn't a bishonen
and he didn't intend to turn into any girl, but that was the first time that
he had yelled at her and meant it. She had stared for a few minutes, then she
had run off, as though terrified of her Mamo-chan. Mamo-chan? Who was Mamo-
chan? Only a senshi who had lost all purpose, a half-senshi with a life more
confusing than she could bear any more. Who was he? He was Chiba Mamoru, but
who was that? He had no family, few friends, only a college life and a job
that filled his free time to keep him from thinking about things. He was
Tuxedo Kamen, but who is Tuxedo Kamen? The last remnant of a Earthly kingdom,
sole reminder of what the Princess of the Moon once felt about one prince. A
senshi with no purpose other than protecting Usako, than guarding Sailor
Moon, and the more time that passed, it became quite evident that he wasn't
the best senshi for the job, nor the only senshi who wanted the job. Sailor
StarFighter. A woman. And a man, too, but still, a woman. Usako wasn't like
that, so why did she love this Kou Seiya? Like a friend, at first, then like
a brother, and finally, like a lover. Mamoru knew it. He could feel Usako
slipping from his grasp, he knew that even though she still pretended to love
him, she wouldn't stop thinking about Kou Seiya. He hadn't ever done anything
wrong to Usako. Anything, everything he had, he had so he could use it in her
defense. It wasn't because he wasn't trying that she had forgotten about him.
Chiba Mamoru was born only because she loved him, and he lived only because
he loved her. He had been possessed by the Dark Kingdom, but his love for
Usako had freed him. He had been stalked by the alien An, and even though he
outwardly didn't remember Usako, his heart had remembered, had found some way
to protect her. He had attacked his childhood friend Fiore, ready to kill
him, if it meant protecting Usako, keeping her safe. He had taken care of
Usako's child, Chibi-Usa, as though he had already fathered her. He had been
so sure he was her father... but this Kou Seiya, he looked so similar to
Mamoru in so many ways, only more effeminate. He knew such a mistake, to get
the name 'Seiya' confused with 'Endymion', was too much of a long shot to be
considered, but still he considered it. He still cared about Chibi-Usa,
though. Chibi-Usa was the child of the only angel Mamoru would ever meet, and
so Mamoru would always defend her. The way he needed, the way he had to
defend Usako. Usako, Usako, precious Usako, small rabbit with the brightest
eyes in the galaxy and the purest heart in existance. Usako, a graceful
princess and a sweet child, everything anyone could long for,in her combined.
Kou Seiya. He could almost shoot Kou Seiya, but instead he followed
them when this foreigner visited. Now he jogged, jogged behind them, while
they went for a friendly walk in the park. Friendly. They found a nice,
secluded spot. Away from people, behind some bushes, where no one would look.
They giggled, like naughty children, and Kou Seiya asked her if she thought
anybody would see them. She giggled back, the most beautiful noise in the
world, and said no. No, nobody would see them, and they were safe, and until
Crystal Tokyo came, they could meet and talk and do however they liked, and
don't worry about Mamoru because Mamoru was so desperately in love with her
that he wouldn't ever think that she might be in love with Kou Seiya instead.
Mamoru interpreted the 'no' to mean all this and more, and the giggling that
filled his ears was laughter at him, at what a pathetic, desperate wretch he
must be, to be so worthless, that love sworn and upheld over centuries from
him meant nothing, that his broken heart was such a joke, that his best
simply wasn't enough, never enough. Mamoru tortured himself like this, as
Kou Seiya leaned over Usako, to kiss her, to see her smile, to stare and
drown in her sweet blue eyes the way Mamoru once drowned, the way Mamoru once
lived.
"I love you, Seiya." Usako said softly, so softly it was bearly
audible.
And, with those simple words, Mamoru's reality snapped.
"DAMN YOU!"
Seiya jerked back, off of Usagi, to see someone standing over both
of them. It wasn't Mamoru, as he had expected. It wasn't Tuxedo Kamen,either.
Endymion, Prince of Earth, future King of Crystal Tokyo, angry man who had
long ago been sent into this future for the hand of Selenity, and who would
not be denied now.
Naturally, Seiya had never seen Endymion, didn't recognize who he
was, but Usagi knew.
"Who is this?!" Seiya asked Usagi desperately.
"Prince Endymion!" Usagi answered. "I... I told you about the Moon
Kingdom, and about Crystal Tokyo?"
"Holy crap." Seiya wasn't sure what else to say.
Endymion took his sword out of it's scabbard, and held it before him
in a battle position.
"You will die now." Endymion said, suddenly calmer. "You are going to
die for dishonoring my daughter and myself, for stepping on this soil,
foreign to you, without permission or good reason... and for STEALING my
SERENITY!"
Endymion lunged forward. Seiya barely managed to scoot back, out of
the way, as Endymion swung his sword again, obviously intent on the idea of
finding some way to make Seiya's head depart from it's body.
"Mamo-chan, stop!" Usagi screamed. "Stop it! I'm not *your* Serenity,
and it's not Seiya's fault! Now leave him alone!"
Endymion didn't seem to hear her. He had managed to back Seiya up
against a tree, and held his sword up over his head, while holding Seiya
down with one foot.
"Goodbye, Sailor StarFighter." Endymion said calmly, before bringing
the sword down.
Seiya squeezed his eyes shut and held his arms up over his head to
try to stop the sword. His arms, however, never felt the sword's cut at all.
Usagi, seeing what was happening, dashed forward, and threw herself
at Endymion, trying to knock his sword back. The sword continued down,
however, slamming into Usagi's neck. Usagi only screamed once.
Seiya opened his eyes when he felt something wet on him, dripping
down his arms. "USAGI!"
Endymion stepped back, staring at Usagi's body, while Seiya held the
body in his arms, and began crying.
"Oh, Usagi.." he whimpered softly to the body. Endymion was frozen.
Seiya finally looked up.
"YOU!" Seiya gently placed Usagi on the ground, and stood."You killed
Usagi! You killed her!" Tears were streaming down Seiya's face, reflecting
the light from the sun overhead, his mouth in an odd, agonized grimance. "You
KILLED her!"
Endymion dropped the sword, and stepped back again, staring at the
broken body of Tsukino Usagi. The broken hopes of Serenity, the broken dreams
of reality, the death of everything Endymion had ever had or hoped to have.
He stared for a few more minutes, Seiya's accusations ringing in his
ears, before he turned and fled.
Usagi was in danger! She needed his help! But he was the one who had
endangered her, who had killed her. He turned into Tuxedo Kamen, but couldn't
control that, and turned back to Endymion, then finally Chiba Mamoru as he
ran into his apartment and up the stairs.
People had surely seen his transformations, surely people now knew
who Chiba Mamoru was, which would mean that they might guess who Usagi was,
and then who the other senshi were. But he didn't care. They would know what
he had done, though, know that the sweetest blue eyes in the world had been
dimmed by him, who swore to protect her.
He didn't know where to go, what to do. It felt like his head was
throbbing, he could hear his heartbeat so clearly it made his ears hurt. He
ran into the kitchen blindly.
He grabbed the refridgerator door and then slipped on the floor,
pulling the door open. Inside, cookies. Cute little burnt rabbit shaped
cookies, by a small rabbit who loved him so much for so long. He screamed and
slammed the door shut, then began opening his drawers. He couldn't remember
what he was looking for, or where to find it, but when he opened the drawer
with the cutlery in it and saw the knives, everything became clear.
He grabbed one, a large one, the type one used to carve turkeys, and
then fell to the floor, his knees suddenly too weak to support him anymore.
He stared at the knife, then stared down at himself. There was still
blood on him, Usako's blood, the sweet girl who meant the Universe, the
purity that could never be replaced.
He had destroyed her, had killed her. He had killed his own daughter
in the process, had killed everyone who lived in peace in Crystal Tokyo...he
murdered them. Murderer. Kou Seiya's words echoed in his ears. "You KILLED
her!" He looked down at the knife. He could see Usako's smiling face,
reflected on the metal; he could hear her giggling even now, soft, gentle
giggling, scolding him for being so silly. How could he think his Usako was
in love with Kou Seiya? Of course not, it was all some feverish, nightmarish
jealous fantasy, and now, since he'd been so silly, they'd both have to wait
until their next lives before they were reborn again, before they were
together forever again.
He saw Serenity smiling at him. She nodded at the knife, and he
impaled himself on it. He could feel his lives slipping away, all of them...
he could see Usako looking at him, smiling, saying Hello again..
He saw himself on the floor, and he saw Usako's face, and then
Princess Serenity, and then the old Queen Serenity, and she told him to wait,
to not be so nervous, so jittery.
He heard somebody shouting, and realized it was Rei. Sailor Mars was
over his body, but she was so far away, and he didn't understand what she was
saying.
Finally, the voice faded, and he floated in space. Someday he'd be
with Usako again. He'd done something horrible, something truly horrible,but
Usako would understand. She would forgive him somehow. And maybe this time
Kou Seiya wouldn't interrupt their eternity together.
Maybe.
(
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