Cycles
by Sailor StarLight
eternalsailormoon@usa.net
Disclaimers: Sailormoon is not mine, nor will it ever be. No infringement
intended.
All I can do is look around me, almost in wonder, but not quite.
Look at all the changes this world went through. Look at what I considered a
home away from home.
Everything changes. Nothing ever stays the same. Not for long
anyways. Not you. Not me. Not even planets...
I should know. I've been traveling through space for quite a while
now. Back and forth... To and fro...
So many planets... Looking.... Always looking for something I
need... Someone I need.
But... that is another story. And I have stories. So many stories.
The story I would like to tell, to get out in the open, was about a
beautiful young lady that captured my heart. She was the only vibrant color
in my bleak world of black and white. So luminous. So lustrous.
Yes, she was a beauty all right. But that's not why I fell for her.
Oh no. Beauty was one of her many wondrous virtues. She was also sweet,
innocent, caring beyond belief, trusting, pure... So very pure. No matter
what happened to her, she came out smiling that sweet smile of hers. One
look at her, and you couldn't help but smile back, knowing that no matter
what, everything would turn out ok. That was the kind of person she was.
And I... I... I loved her for it.
Now look at me... Reviving all these memories. So tragic. So very
tragic. I can even fell the wetness of a tear drop on my check.
Me? Crying?! What a concept. I would never do that in the old days.
No. I had to be strong! Otherwise I would perish. We all would!
I... I can't stop crying! Oh, this is all strange to me. Crying for
lost memories. Lost time. Lost... love...
But... here I am again. Back here. And... and everything has changed
so much!
My beautiful girl. Where are you? Where did you go... my love?
I see someone standing before me. Graceful. Elegant. Charming.
But... that is not you. No. Not you at all. The same face. The same hair.
But... the eyes... No.... It is not you, my love. These eyes I am staring
into, they're... I would almost say bleak or desolate. But... it can't be.
You have all that you ever wanted. Don't you? This life seems so perfect,
and yet... something is missing. Some vital key in the puzzle is gone.
Vanished.
What happened here?! I would almost think that I am on the wrong
planet. But no. There you are. But... you're not you?! So confusing...
Oh... these damn tears! These wretched tears....
What am I to do? I just... I just don't know anymore. Life is no
longer black and white. No... not since you came into my life. You
complicated things. Made me do things I normally wouldn't do... And it was
all for you! Ooh.... I loved you so. Couldn't you see that?!
But no... No, of course not. You had everything you ever wanted. And
I was never part of it...
I guess... I guess I should accept that... I should accept that.
Yes, I should accept...
Ooh? Is that me making those gasping sounds?
So much water. The tears flow freely...
I cannot accept this!!! Where is she? Where is my love? What
happened to Usagggggiiiii???!!!
Cool blackness... Enveloping me.... No longer needing to think....
No more anguishing memories.... No more memories.... Sweet silence....
Wha-? Where am I? What happened? Did I... did I... faint? Me?
I see her again, in all her radiance. In all her glory.
So many questions. So very many questions.
She is explaining things to me. What happened since I left. What
happened here, on this planet. What happened to her, to Usagi.
Now this place is called Crystal Tokyo. And she.... She is Neo-Queen
Serenity. A dazzling, refined, but sad woman. No traces of Usagi what so
ever. Usagi is gone. She died a long time ago...
Wetness falls down my cheek. Drip. It is that last tear that I shall
shed for her, my love.
Serenity is just watching me now, with those clear, sad eyes.
I am just looking at her, at Serenity.
Rage boils within me. Such passionate anger.
She understands, of course.
Now I am glancing around furiously. Where is she? No... Where is
he?! Mamoru! He was supposed to protect her!!!
Serenity is talking again to me. Such a calm voice, but.. there's a
slight quiver to it. Emotions that were shoved down, deep within her soul,
must resurface, so she can tell me what happened.
Mamoru is no longer.
So Mamoru died too?!
Mamoru is Endymion, her husband. The King of Crystal Tokyo!
Where is he?! Where is he!!! My eyes scan the room coldly.
He's... He's what? But... how?
An attack on Crystal Tokyo? And you daughter is in the past? But the
Senshi--
You're shaking your head. Then what happened?
They are... They're what? Protecting us all?! But... they'll die!
And so will you! How can you take this so calmly!
Ohhh.... I see. Usagi. Usagi of course. Usagi will save us. Usagi...
Sailormoon.
But... it's like... some stupid cycle! Repeating itself for....
for... for eternity!!!
Usagi will save everyone. And her reward for that, is dying and
letting you take over like you should have?!
The Moon...? Metallia? Is that how you died? But Usagi! What about
Usagi! You can't just do that to her!
What? Do I love her?
Oh no. The tears.... No! I won't let them come back! Must not show
emotion. Cold.... Be cold. Lock all your emotions up. No. I can't...
I can't... because I love her too much.
Yes, dammit! I love her! Is that what you wanted to hear? I came all
the way back here to see her again. To see if she was happy, and I came back
to this! All of this!
Dammit! It's unfair! So god-dammed unfair! Oh Usagi....
Warmth. Two bodies pressing against each other. Arms locked around
me, supporting me.
Serenity....
She feels so much like her, like Usagi. Oh Usagi I miss you. I guess
you'll never know how much.
Wha--? But Serenity!
It feels so much like Usagi. This kiss, it feels so much like Usagi.
Warmth. Caring. Depth. Release myself into this. Feels so right....
The contact is now broken. Coldness is rushing up to my mouth. Where
she was just a moment ago...
You want me to do what?! But Serenity! The cycle... It would break
the cycle! Oh, I see.
Will I do it? Of course... your... majesty.
Heat fills me. Light everywhere. Blinding light.
Serenity?! But you're trapped in a crystal! I see that now! But how?
How did you do that? How did you talk to me?!
The ginzoushou.... Of course. I should have known.
What? What are you trying to say? Can't... hear you... So much wind.
Stop the cycle?
Howling wind. Blinding light. Where am I?
I... am... on the moon? But... how can that be? The moon was
destroyed... Destroyed long ago... Before my time.
Ohhh, how beautiful. That palace. How regal... How tranquil.
...calling my name? Is someone calling my name? But... who?
Wha--? But how? Ohh... the ginzoushou again. Of course.
Gasp of breath.
Ser-Serenity...?
She's smiling at me. I haven't seen that smile in... in... in such a
long time. Such an innocent smile.
Warm arms encircling me.
Such a wonderful little princess.
But... what about Mamor-- er... What about Endymion?
Such a scornful little look, especially for this sweet little
Princess.
What does a bratty Earth Prince have to do with anything?! But.... I
thought....
Thought what?
Nothing. Nothing. Never mind, my sweet...
You love me? Me? And I'm a... a Prince from Fighter? Fighter! That's
my home! Where I was born. But... I was born as a girl. I was a Princess of
Fighter. But... now a Prince? Well, it works out better this way. So much
better...
Do I love you? But of course I love you. You are the color in my
world of black and white.
What does that mean? Nothing sweet Princess. Nothing to worry your
little head about.
For me? Ohh, what a beautiful star locket. Of course I love it!
Thank you my wonderful Princess. It plays such a gentle melody....
But... something I should remember. Need to remember....
Yaten.... Taiki.... Princess Kakyuu.... Ohhh, I'm going to miss you
all so much. So very much. But you'll understand. I'll be born again, a long
time from now. But, I'll be born on Earth. And you... You all.... Ohh, I
will never forget you all. But you see, this is more important. So very
important.
For you see, I broke the cycle. The cycle has ended.... forever....
Deep breath. In and out. Breathing hard. So hard. Gasping breaths.
Door slams open. Voices. Voices yelling my name. Blurry people....
so blurry... Eyes adjust to harsh light. People...
Yaten! Taiki!
Where am I? In our apartment on Earth.
Was I dreaming? But.... Usagi....
Another deep breath sucked in. Wonder. Dawning realization.
In my sweaty hands is a star locket.
Wind. Rustling leaves.
It still plays a gentle melody, but there are overtones of sadness
now. Such a gentle, sad, melody....
Melancholy....
Sorry all. I was in a depressing mood when I wrote this... It didn't turn
out the way I planned. I was going to end it with The cycle has ended...
forever... But ending it this way, just seems to work better, I think.
Please do give me comments on this. Please? eternalsailormoon@usa.net
Oh, and if you like Usagi and Seiya, please join my club. Or at least sign
the guestbook. ^_^
Thanks!
Sailor StarLight 9/1/98
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Prez and founder of SUPER (Seiya and Usagi Power of Eternal Respect) Fan Club
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Island/2033/
All those who think they are perfect, take one step forward. Not so fast
Yaten Kou!
--Andro
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