Stalking happens much more frequently than most people realize.
Approximately 8% of women and 2% of men will be stalked in their lifetime.
There is typically three types of Stalkers, Intimate Partner Stalkers,
Delusional Stalkers, and Vengeful Stalkers.
Intimate partner stalkers are typically known as the person who
"just can’t let go." These are most often people who refuse to
believe that a relationship has really ended. There is no reasoning with
a person like this, don't attempt to "let them down easy". Be firm, say NO,
without explanations. Explanations help the stalker to rationalize what
he/she is doing. Saying "I need some space" translates to "she loves me and
wants me to come back" to a stalker.
Delusional stalkers frequently have had little, if any, contact with
their victims. They may have major mental illnesses like schizophrenia,
manic-depression or erotomania. What they all have in common is some false
belief that keeps them tied to their victims. This type of stalker actually
believes that he is having a relationship with his victim, even though they
might never have met. Another type of delusional stalker might believe that he
is destined to be with someone, and that if he only pursues her hard enough and
long enough, she will come to love him as he loves her. These stalkers know they
are not having a relationship with their victims, but firmly believe that they
will some day.
Vengeful stalkers become angry with their victims over some slight, real
or imagined. Some of these angry stalkers are psychopaths, i.e. people without
conscience or remorse. Some are delusional, (most often paranoid), and believe
that they, in fact, are the victims. They all stalk to "get even."
As much as anyone of us hates to be called a victim, stalking does make you
a crime victim. Being called a Stalking Victim says more about the
perpetrator than it does you. No one else can understand what you are going
through unless they have lived and dealt with it themselves.
Here are some Safety Precautions you can take if being stalked:
1,Tell the stalker "no" once and only once, and then never give him the
satisfaction of a reaction again
2, Get a dog. (The Most Inexpensive Alarm System)
3, Block your address at DMV and Voter Registration. Anyone can get it if you don't.
4, Never give out your home address or telephone number. Get a post office box and
use it on all correspondence.
5, When the stalker gets your home telephone number, don’t change it. Instead, always
let an answering machine pick-up. Get a new, unlisted number, and give it to everyone
who calls but the stalker. Gradually, only your stalker will be using your old
number – it will become his private line. If it upsets you when he calls, put the
machine in a room you don’t use.
6, Document everything.
7, Take a self-defense class.
8, Have co-workers screen all calls and visitors.
9, Don’t accept packages unless they were personally ordered
10, Remove any name or identification from reserved parking at work.
11, Destroy discarded mail.
12, Equip your gas tank with a locking gas cap that can be unlocked
only from inside the car.
13, Get a cell phone and keep it with you at all times, even inside your home,
in case the stalker cuts your phone lines.
14, If you think you are being followed while in your car, make four left- or
right-hand turns in succession. If the car continues to follow you, drive to
the nearest police station, never home or to a friend’s house.
15, Never be afraid to sound your car horn to attract attention.
16, Acquaint yourself with all-night stores and other public, highly
populated places in your area.
17, Consider moving if your case warrants it. No, it’s not fair, but
nothing is fair about stalking. If you stay and fight through the legal
system, you might get some justice, (although not necessarily your
definition of it), but you almost certainly won’t get safety: There
is no possibility of life imprisonment for stalkers.
18, Don’t be embarrassed and think you caused this somehow.
Tell everyone you know that you’re being stalked, from neighbors to co-workers,
so that when the stalker approaches them for information about you, they will be
alerted not to divulge anything and will let you know he’s been around.
19, Join one of the stalking victims’ support groups that are springing up all over
the country. They can be invaluable resources for information in your community.
Stalking Victims Resources Page
More Stalking Victims Resources
The Anti-Stalking WebSite
What To Do Against a Stalker
Law Enforcement and Online Stalking
CyberStalking
How to Internet Safely
Find Women's Resources Near You
Beyond the Pain From Predators
Safety Strategies for Stalking Victims
NOVA - National Organization for Victim Assistance
Canada's Criminal Law: Stalking
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This Stop Harassment Now Web Ring site
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