Stalking Practical Definitions Stalking is defined as a willful course of conduct involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual that would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested, and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized. frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested.
Who Are the Victims? Unfortunately, stalking is not a rare or unusual activity. Anyone can be a victim of stalking. According to the below listed statistics, your chance of being a victim of stalking is high, especially if you are a woman. Studies suggested that one in 20 women in the United States will be stalked at some point in their lives. In a study conducted among college students in West Virginia, 34 percent of women and 17 percent of men reported they had been stalked.Although only about 2 percent of stalking result in homicide, 50 percent of stalkers threaten their victims with violence or property damage or injuring their victims' pets. Even when no physical harm is involved, victims' lives can be greatly affected. Some are forced to relocate, change identity, find new jobs, and alter their appearances. A majority of victims will suffer from a form of post traumatic stress disorder, marked by chronic anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances
- One out of every 20 adults will be stalked in their lifetime - One-third of women in domestic violence shelters are victims of stalking
Stalking Is... According to the anti-stalking laws, a person can be charged with stalking for willfully and repeatedly contacting another individual without permission. Under these laws, assailants could be charged with stalking for repeatedly:
Following or appearing within the sight of another Approaching or confronting another individual in a public or private place Appearing at the work place or residence of another Entering or remaining on an individual's property Contacting by telephone Sending mail or electronic mail Protect Yourself! Travel with friends Do not walk alone Change your telephone number to an unlisted number Vary the times and routes you take to get to work or class or to other frequently visited places Notify your family and friends, and explain the situation to your employer so that they may protect you at work
If you are being stalked...
What should you do if you are a stalking victim?
Contact your local law enforcement agency immediately to file a complaint and be prepared to give details about the stalking.
Write down occurrences after they happen so that you can clearly communicate to authorities what has taken place. Be specific when answering questions.
What? When? How? Who? What threat has been made? When were the threats made? How were the threats made? Who made the threats?
Remember information such as specific acts of violence that were threatened and whether weapons were present during the threat.
Record the exact location and time of day when events occurred.
Save any communications where threats were made in writing.
If threats are made over the telephone you may want to check with your local phone company about the possibility of tracing or recording phone calls.
Give police a description of your stalker and the names of any witnesses who could help identify the person.
When you know your stalker...
Most reported cases involve a woman being stalked by an estranged or former spouse or someone who was once intimate with the victim. Just because you know your stalker does not mean that you cannot seek help. If you are not safe at home, call your local law enforcement agency or a telephone operator and ask for information about a nearby shelter.
What happens when you file a complaint?
When you file a complaint with local authorities concerning stalking, terroristic threatening, harassment or harassing communications a warrant may be issued for the arrest of the accused. If the accused is arrested there will be an arraignment proceeding and the court will issue either a "no contact order" or a "protective order". It is important to get copies of these documents and keep them accessible at all times. If a violation of the order takes place, law enforcement officials will need to know the exact language of the document to determine what action can be taken against the accused.
Preventative Measures
Install dead bolts. If you cannot account for all keys, change locks and secure spare keys;
If possible, install adequate outside lighting;
Maintain an unlisted telephone number. If harassing phone calls persist, notify law enforcement;
Treat any threats as legitimate and inform law enforcement;
Vary routes taken and limit time spent walking;
Inform a trusted neighbor (and colleagues) regarding situation. Provide neighbors with a photo or description of the suspect and any possible vehicles he or she may drive;
If residing in an apartment with an on-site manager, provide the manager with a picture of the suspect;
Have co-workers screen calls and visitors; and
When out, try not to travel alone, and stay in public areas.
(The material in the preceding section excerpted from Security Recommendations, Los Angeles Police Department, Threat Management Unit, 1993)
DO'S and DONT'S DO Be firm -- This is one time you should not be kind or gentle! Be Firm! Tell your stalker NO once. And stop any other contact by you, the stalker feeds on contact! Trying to be nice allows the obssesive stalker to hear what he/she wants to hear, not the NO. Cut off all contact -- Stalkers don't care what kind of attention they get, as long as it's SOME attention. Firmly reject the stalker, and cut off all contact. Pay attention to all early warning signs, that indicate that over bearing annoying attention may soon turn into full blown stalking! Keep your address private -- Use a postal box instead of residential address on everything. Give your address only to your most trusted friends.
Get an answering machine that records on a cassette -- If you are being harassed, put a beep tone on your line and let the caller know that the call is being recorded.
Guard your e-mail -- If you are being cyber stalked, change your e-mail to something that is hard to guess, and do not put any personal information on on-line profiles.
Keep a diary -- Record every stalking incident and names, dates, and times of contact. Save a tape of all the phone messages and packages sent to you by the stalker.
Secure your home -- Trim the bushes around your house. Always lock the doors with dead bolts. Use window locks on basement and ground floor windows.
Secure your vehicles -- Always lock your cars. Look carefully inside before entering. When you travel to and from work, vary your schedule and route. If possible, get a gas lock, and lock your gas tank. Never be afraid to sound your car horn to attract attention.
Do take the stalking seriously. It is better to play it safe. There are stalkers that stalk for years, and never physically harm the person. Then there are stalkers that can turn the stalking deadly. Use Caution, and don't minimize the act of stalking. You can obtain a restraining order, although there are pro's and con's with restraining orders too. The bottom line is, a restraining order is simply a piece of paper! Keep your senses, protect yourself! Be alert! Do Believe that a stalker can be violent, even if they have NEVER demonstrated violence! Do listen to your intuition Do enlist the support of family, friends, etc. Everyone who know's and loves you should be alerted, and know these stalking Do's and Don'ts! Do Clearly REALIZE that the stalker is seeking YOUR attention, negative attention is better then none, and this is clearly how the stalker things! Do completely ignore any conversation, words, etc. Just DON'T Respond at all! DON'TS Don't give out your telephone number -- get an unpublished and unlisted phone number. Never print your phone number on checks. If asked for a phone number, give your work number. Don't try to reason or plead with the stalker, it doesn't work, and will only edge him on more! Don't accept packages you did not order -- This includes flowers, gifts, and other things that you didn't order and sent to you by people other than your friends or family.
Don't agree to meet the stalker in person -- Never, ever, agree to meet the stalker in person, even if he says it's to say good bye for one last time.
Don't have anything shipped to your home address -- Have packages delivered to your work address.
Don't inflict self blame! This is not your fault! Stalkers do not understand NO. They thrive on the shame and embarrassment you feel, they know this is how they keep their control!
Links for more information
The Stalking Victims Sanctuary
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