Things My Mother
Taught Me





TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside...I just finished cleaning!"



RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



TIME TRAVEL

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"



LOGIC

"Because I said so, that's why!"



FORESIGHT

Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



IRONY

"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."


SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"



CONTORTIONISM

"Would you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"



STAMINA

"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."



WEATHER

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."



PHYSICS PROBLEMS

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"



HYPOCRISY

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times...Don't exaggerate!!!"



THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."



BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your father!"



ENVY

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"



GOOD OL' MOM! : ) LOL



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