Subject:         The Fernando Eros Caro Case - part 4
   Date:         25 Feb 2000 18:58:14 -0000
   From:        kolahq@skynet.be
     To:         aeissing@home.nl

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Online petition asking for a new trial at:
<http://kola-hq.hypermart.net/actcaro.htm>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The FERNANDO EROS CARO Case
PART 4 - BACKGROUND
 

ABUSE AND NEGLECT
 

As the firstborn and oldest son, special burdens fell on
Fernando Jr. In Yaqui life, the family is dominated by the
eldest male, usually the grandfather or great-grandfather,
and it was assumed that Fernando Jr. would someday
become the leader of the family.

His mother's demands that her son be strong enough to
accept the cruelties of the world were the focus of her
relationship with him: "I had such a dreams that Fernando's
life would be better and that someday he could be
successful. I believed that if he broke any rule, regardless
of how small, he had to be punished to learn the importance
of following rules. I expected him not to make any mistakes
and to set an example for the other children. I didn't
understand that it was natural for children to make
mistakes; I only feared the consequences. I hit him to
punish him and teach him lessons of life. It hurts my heart
to say the things I did to him, but I didn't know how it
would hurt him. I had been raised by beatings and though I
loved my son dearly, beating was all I knew. I started
hitting him when he was still a baby, and never stopped
until he was almost grown. None of the other children were
treated the way Fernando Jr. was treated. I didn't expect as
much from them because they were not the oldest son."

Fernando's mother and other family members acknowledge
that hers was not the only hand that struck and injured
Fernando. His paternal grandfather beat him with a coat
hanger. His father attacked the child with little or no
provocation, usually without warning. Fernando Sr. hit the
boy with his closed fists, kicked him in the head and
stomach with his work boots on, slammed his head into the
wall, beat him with a wide leather strap, and threatened to
kill him of he resisted the assaults.

The Caro home was filled with violence, chaos, and constant
physical danger for the children and their mother.
Fernando's alcoholic father attacked their mother time after
time. Alone and isolated in their decrepit shack, Isabel had
no neighbor to run to and no family to support her. She
summoned enough courage three times to pack up her children
and flee to her parents' home for protection. Her mother --
Fernando's grandmother who loved him so dearly-- warned her
that life would be worse if she had no husband, and that she
had no choice but to live with him. Grandmother Eros,
herself a full-blooded Yaqui, believed that women's lot was
to work, cook, have children and suffer beatings in silence
if their husbands chose to inflict them.

According to Isabel, her mother believed: "...that women
have no control over their destiny. Whatever we were given
was what we had to learn to live with. We were on earth to
bear children, protect them as best we could, and serve as
wives. Regardless of what my husband did to me, I had to
accept it in the name of what was good for the children. I
didn't know that it would hurt them to keep living the way
we were living. I was young and my life was limited to the
small community we lived in. I never even thought that my
mother might be wrong. I was raised to believe without
question in the elders."

Isabel Caro felt she had no way to protect her children,
including Fernando Jr.: "...after my mother died, I went
home and asked my father if he would care for me and the
children and protect us. He said we could live with him and
he would see to it that we always had whatever he had. But
then my husband came and said he would never leave us alone,
and I knew he was speaking the truth. I would never have a
day of peace in my life away from him or with him. I went
home with him because I had no place else to go, and no
money to support my children."

Fernando Jr. learned obedience and silence. He was an
intelligent child by all accounts but he never joined in
with the other children. Fernando was always the quietest
child who stayed by himself and away from the other
children. He diligently studied at school to try and
overcome his learning disability and get praise from his
father and avoid beatings; he was rewarded by average school
grades, near perfect attendance, and certificates of
achievement that his mother saved in a scrapbook. He was a
handsome and polite child, who feared his mother's wrath if
he was anything less than perfect.

Isabel made her expectations clear: "Fernando knew my dreams
for him. He had to go to school, to make something of
himself, to live a life different from ours."
 

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