-Carrie's Memory
I was five years old. Back then, I was a stick figure and small enough to wear t-shirts to bed since they just ran to my knees anyway. On weekends, if we were staying home, I’d stay in my nightshirts until lunchtime. Laurie and I would just sit on the floor and watch cartoons or looks at picture books all morning, unless we could find something else to do.
The ice cream man usually didn’t come until after lunch, but one day he came early. It was still morning and I was still wearing my nightshirt, but all of my friends ran outside when the twinkly ice cream music played on our street. I pressed my nose to the window and watched the colorful truck stop for my friends, and I had just had breakfast, but I had a sweet tooth that was demanding ice cream.
“Mom, I need money!” I shouted, grabbing at the doorknob.
“No ice cream. It’s too early.” Mom said from the kitchen. I ran outside anyway and tiptoed across the street, careful not to step on any little pebbles that would hurt my feet. One the other sidewalk, I stood behind my friends, who all had money. Jenna was holding a fudgsicle, and Mark had a strawberry shortcake bar, and other neighborhood kids were getting all kinds of good things. My mouth was watering and I could feel the cold from inside the truck hitting my skin, but I had no money, so I wouldn’t get any ice cream. It just wasn’t fair that every other kid got money for ice cream. Weren’t they the same age as me? Some of them were even younger! Kevin was only Laurie’s age, he couldn’t eat ice cream by himself! So why did they get money for ice cream, but not me?
I hung my head and I could feel my eyes getting warm, and all of a sudden I was bawling. I didn’t even care that my friends saw me cry- I wanted ice cream!
“Here, little girl, here.” A man’s voice said. I looked up and saw the ice cream man leaning over the counter, holding out something for me. A stick of gum? I walked up to him and slowly took it. I wasn’t supposed to take stuff from strangers…but he was the ice cream man, not a stranger! And it was free, he was giving me the gum for free. And whenever Dad got free stuff from work, he came home and did a “happy dance” in the kitchen and Mom would dance too, so free stuff was good. I clutched the stick of gum and was across the street so fast, I barely touched the ground long enough for any pebbles to get stuck in my feet. I was so fast, I forgot to thank the ice cream man. But I had free gum!
“Mommy, look! Look what he gave me!” I paraded into the kitchen with the gum over my head, skipping and jumping, excited because I was going eat that gum in just a second.
“Let me see. Who gave this to you?” She took the gum from me and examined it. I didn’t know why, because it was free gum from the ice cream man so it was okay, but I probably had to explain that first.
“The ice cream man! He gave me free gum because I couldn’t get ice cream!” I reached for the gum, and she gave it back to me.
“Well, okay. Break it in half and give Laurie a piece.”
“Laurie?” I turned and looked into the other room, where Laurie was watching tv. She was two years old, pudgy and soft, with short chocolate hair and eyes round like cheerios. Laurie was fun to tickle and sometimes I fed her some of my Popsicle, and that was fun too. But she wasn’t fun to share gum with. She didn’t even know that you had to chew gum and not swallow it, because if you did, it would drop into your insides and make you very sick. Laurie couldn’t be bothered with gum yet.
I was suddenly so offended by the very idea, that I should have to share my free gum with a little baby, that I ripped off the shiny wrapper and shoved the whole piece into my mouth. It was juicy and sweet and almost better than ice cream, because it was free.
Mom’s arm was around my stomach in a flash, and suddenly I was staring at the ground from up on her knee, and then her other hand was smacking me and there was pain.
I screamed and dropped off her knee, almost spitting out my free gum.
“I said to share it!” Mom said, and her voice was loud and her eyes were suddenly so little that I had to look for them in her face.
My backside was sore and my face was red from shame, because I didn’t mean to disobey anyone. I just didn’t understand why Laurie needed to take part of my free gum.
Out of nowhere, Laurie started shrieking and pointing at me and Mom, and I could hear her screaming “ Don’t!” It was like she was the one being spanked for eating free gum and disobeying Mom.
Mom looked at me and her face was surprised, and I could find her eyes easily.
“It’s okay Laurie, look, Carrie’s fine.” Mom nodded at me and I nodded back, even though I was still hurting and my eyes kept dripping.
Laurie was on her feet faster than I had ever seen her get up, and then she was in the kitchen and she was next to me. Her warm hands grasped mine, and then she was burrowing her face into my arm, like she was scared. My tears stopped and I looked at Mom. Mom stared back. She stared at Laurie, like she couldn't understand something.
I looked back at Laurie, who had started squeezing my arm. Wasn’t I supposed to be the one watching out for her? Maybe I should’ve given Laurie some free gum after all.
