| State of Confusion, Living |
| State of Confusion (Written after I attempted to suicide) I feel as though I am walking down a never-ending dark hall. I'm walking like a zombie, lost in the never lifting darkness. As I walk, I see doors opening and I walk slowly past them...they gently close. I'm so afraid to walk though because of the fear of the unknown. Finally I turn to the right and walk through a door. I'm spinning in circles feeling as though no wrong will happen. Then, without warning, I fall. Depression surrounds me. My past haunts me, my mind is flooded. I see no way out, I am trapped. Thoughts feel my mind that their will never be a way out unless I get rid of myself. I poison my body with an unknonw amount of pills. I fall into a sleep. I wake up to feeling my heart slow down. I am in a state of confusion. I arrive at the hospital with my feet feeling heavy. I am afraid I will lose my balance and sink to the floor. Suddenly I am placed in a room. People surround me telling me things asking me questions, and directing me. A large machine is hooked up to my body while a man attempts to draw my blood. Wishing for everything to be over and for some sleep, I am moved to a different room. My blood results come back. With relief to my family, I'll be fine. I am taken home. I begin to walk down my long dark hall again. I feel my depression start to surround me again. I have the feeling things will never change.... . |
| Living (Written for just a general statement) Living in a close minded city is like having a heart that doesn't feel. People live their life denying who they are because our world says it's wrong. I can't imagine living my life, as a lie knowing deep down inside I am a different person. Why do we call this land of the free, home of the brave and yet no one can admit who they are? Think on this..... |