PART 16 - After Paying the Registration Fee, and Receiving a Receipt, I go to the Al-Anon Regional Service Seminar and am met at the door by the Regional Trustee who Refuses Entry
Well, you may recall I had stated previously that the Regional Trustee had met me at ACoA and suggested that I go to the Regional Service Seminar. I thought about it and decided to go. I had several reasons for making that decision.
I thought that if I went to the Regional Service Seminar it would be a chance to meet with other Al-Anon members and discuss ways of overcoming my difficulties. I also thought it would be interesting to learn more about the structure of Al-Anon and how the groups were organised. I had also considered the possibility that by attending the Regional Service Seminar it would allow Al-Anon members to see that I was not the deranged lunatic as reported to the Area Assembly by the GRs of the Al-Anon groups who had banned me.
The Regional Service Seminar wasn't due to happen until October and I paid for my attendance, and received a receipt, in May. In September, the Regional Trustee left a message on my telephone answering machine to contact him. In actual fact, he left two messages and sounded quite anxious.
He had previously told me that he had seen the August 2000 convention as a way out of my difficulties. He said that if I attended that convention and other Al-Anon members could see that I would not be angry at the meetings then the ban from Al-Anon would be lifted. Given that I had been banned for over a year, I phoned him back hoping that some breakthrough had happened.
Instead he stated that he had received a letter from the Associate Director - International at WSO about my attendance at the Regional Service Seminar. Based on this alleged letter he decided that I would be banned from attending the Regional Service Seminar. I tried reasoning with him on the phone but he terminated the conversation. I was furious. I couldn't believe that I was again being treated this way. I no longer feel that way, as I no longer expect to be treated fairly in Al-Anon and see them for the crowd of tramps that they are. One can make allowances for people who are sick but those who are deliberately spiteful and nasty and have no consideration for someone who is trying their best to recover are beyond contempt.
I phoned WSO and spoke to the Associate Director - International and asked why she had sent the letter to the Regional Trustee. She interrupted me, "What letter?" I explained that the Regional Trustee said he had received a letter from her about my attendance at the Regional Service Seminar. "I never sent a letter", she replied. Somewhat mystified, I apologised and hung open the phone.
I contacted GSO about the alleged letter the Associate Director - International had sent. I asked to know why the Associate Director had demanded that I be prevented from attending the Regional Service Seminar. The person at GSO very quickly pointed out that nobody makes demands in Al-Anon, but that the letter contained a suggestion that the Regional Trustee could meet with me to discuss my attendance at the Regional Service Seminar. The alleged letter had been sent to GSO and forwarded to the Regional Trustee.
The next day, I phoned WSO again and asked to speak to the Associate Director - International. I apologised for the confusion and advised her that I now realised that she had not sent a letter directly to the Regional Trustee but that she had sent it to GSO, who then forwarded it.
"I never sent a letter", she replied, slightly annoyed. I was confused by the situation and realised someone was lying to me. I continued to discuss the situation with the Associate Director to ascertain what she had sent to GSO and she insisted she had sent nothing. Finally, I asked her, "Did you sent a letter to GSO about my attendance at the Regional Service Seminar?" "No I did not!", was her adamant reply. I apologised for the confusion and accepted her statement that she had not sent a letter to GSO.
I contacted GSO the next day and spoke about the alleged letter which the Associate Director had sent. The person on the phone again referred to the letter.
Quick as a flash I commented, almost dryly, "I happened to be speaking to the Associate Director - International and she said she never sent any such letter." Immediately the other person was flustered.
"Yes, she did. I have it here in front of me."
"Could you read it out to me?"
"I don't have time for this!" The telephone conversation was terminated somewhat abruptly.
I couldn't believe I had been lied to. I also couldn't believe that they thought I was so stupid as to not catch them out on it.
I contacted GSO and the Regional Trustee, and advised them that I was invoking Concept V about my being prevented from attending to the Regional Service Seminar. I also complained to the Executive Director of WSO about the alleged letter of the Associate Director which she denied sending but which GSO insisted she had.
The Regional Trustee and GSO both dithered about whether I had really been banned. As the weeks went past I did not receive a letter or refund cheque which would have confirmed I had been banned from the seminar.
Having by now gained an inkling into how sordid and decrepit Al-Anon was, and the fact I had invoked Concept V, I soon realised that the Regional Trustee and GSO expected me not to turn up at the seminar and then they would come up with the excuse that I had not been banned but chose not to attend. After all, I had only been informed by phone and as they had already lied to me, they would lie again and say I had never been told by phone that I was prevented from attending.
I contacted GSO a few weeks before the seminar and advised as I had received nothing in writing confirming the ban I would be going to the Regional Service Seminar.
Now, if I had really been banned I would have received some kind of letter but instead received nothing. I therefore packed my bag, booked half a day off work and travelled to the Regional Service Seminar.
I was met at the door by the Regional Trustee who said that I was not allowed to attend the Regional Service Seminar. I told him I had receiving no notification in writing nor a refund cheque. He said he had posted a cheque two days beforehand which I should have received. (Now it is worth noting, and this is important for the victims of alcoholism, that the cheque could have been posted weeks earlier. He had deliberately left it as late as possible in order to leave me with the false impression I would be attending and then at the last minute find out I wasn't allowed, thereby leaving me limited scope for action).
I told him I had received no such cheque. He stated he had posted it two days before and I should have received it. I pointed out I had not and also asked why he had posted it so late, if he had posted it at all. He said was a procrastinator. I was on the verge of calling him a bare-faced liar (given that I had previously discovered him to be a liar). Thankfully I did not.
I pointed out that I had booked a half-day off work, and this had caused me some inconvenience. He said that the accommodation was full and there was no room for me. As it was within travelling distance from my home, I offered to travel every day. His face then hardened and stated that under no circumstances would I be permitted to attend and his decision was final. Then he said, "I really understand how you feel..."
"Oh, don't give me that crap!"
"I don't have to put up with your attitude", he whined.
"No you don't because I'm leaving". I walked out of the building, absolutely disgusted. On my return home, lying on the doormat was my refund cheque, just delivered that morning, after I had gone to work. With hindsight, I was glad I had not called him a liar.
I was angry that I had been treated this way and messed about by Al-Anon in that way. Heaven knows, I'm messed up enough without them messing with my head. There had been a member from the Al-Anon group near my parents who witnessed the Regional Trustee preventing me from attending the seminar. Instead of speaking up to defend me all she could whine was, "I thought you said you weren't coming." I was disgusted, that as usual, not one person would stand up for me or defend me.
Well, I had contacted the Executive Director of WSO about the letter the Associate Director - International had sent, which she herself denied most vehemently ever sending, and which the Regional Trustee and GSO insisted had been sent.
What was his response? Well, "total disgust" does not describe how I felt on reading his reply...