PART 19 - The Decision of the Executive Director to ban me from WSO
I suppose receiving that e-mail from the Executive Director was kind of a watershed for me. It was then that the true nature of what Al-Anon was really like became appallingly clear. Denial, denial - and then some!
I actually spoke with the Executive Director after he had sent the e-mail but before I had actually read it. What had happened was that I had contacted GSO about the text of the Concept V section in the Al-Anon service manual. In that section it states that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend and, I quote verbatim, "we never take away this right to belong". What had happened was that a recent ACoA meeting I happened to pick up the Al-Anon service manual (thereby receiving a snooty comment from the secretary that night) and the phrase "we never take away this right to belong" leapt off the page at me. I thought to myself, "Hold on a minute, but they have taken away my right to belong" (ie I do not have the right to attend any Al-Anon meeting = no "right to belong").
I contacted GSO and pointed out that my "right to belong" had been taken away from me and referred to the Al-Anon Service manual. The reply I received was that I could go to Al-Anon meetings outside my local area and therefore still had a "right to belong". I disagreed and said that "right to belong" means exactly what it says ie a right to attend any Al-Anon meeting. The other person (wrongly) disagreed and then retorted that the text had been adopted from WSO and had not been amended. It was suggested I contact WSO.
I contacted WSO and spoke to the Associate Director - International and referred to the phrase "right to belong" and asked to know what the Al-Anon interpretation of that phrase was. She replied that she was not aware of that phrase in the Concept V section and asked me to refer to the page number. I told her I did not have the Al-Anon service manual with me (I had seen it at the ACoA meeting) and told her that it was definitely in the Concept V section. I told her it occurred after the sentence on the requirement for membership. She (allegedly) could not find it in the section and questioned whether it was really there. As I could not give the exact page and line number I decided to check it out at the next ACoA meeting.
At the next ACoA meeting I again read the Al-Anon service manual (aware that condescending eyes were on me with the associated whispering behind my back) and I noted the page and line number. The next day I phoned WSO and asked to speak to the Associate Director - International. After I was put through I could tell she was very annoyed with me and refused to answer my question on what "right to belong" meant (I noted that this time she didn't deny that it existed in the Concept V section). She said that the Executive Director was not in his office but would I like to be put through to his voice-mail. Somewhat puzzled I agreed to be put through to his voice-mail.
I then heard a somewhat high-pitched voice say "This is ----" (ie his first name - not stated here to protect his anonymity) I thought that it was a rather curt voice-mail greeting so I was just about to leave my message when he then said "This is ---- -------- (ie his full name). I then realised it wasn't voice-mail. I'm not sure whether the Associate Director had misled me in order to leave me unprepared for speaking to the Executive Director.
I then began speaking. "Oh, hello. My name is ---- and I was just speaking to the Associate Director. She had said you weren't in your office but obviously you are. I had been asking the Associate Director -..."
I was then interrupted. "Did you not get my e-mail?"
I replied that I had not read it yet (I was not aware one had been sent).
The Executive Director said "We've been reading all the letters you have been sending to AA in which you said we were stupid and couldn't do our job." (I had been in communication with AA GSO in New York, who for some strange reason unlike Al-Anon, had been replying to my letters about The Twelve Traditions, and I may have made one or two comments about the intelligence of the Al-Anon staff at WSO.)
He then said, "You aren't going to be the centre of attention any more. Enough Al-Anon resources have been wasted on you. Man, you aren't even trying at all."
I retorted, "Mr -----, I am banned from Al-Anon and I am trying to attend to recover from how I have been affected by -..."
He then became aggressive and said "I have been affected by alcoholism too." His whining disgusted me. (I thought, well you if you have been affected do you not think it is about time you did something about it? And besides, what has your being affected go to do with my ban?)
He then said, "As from this moment neither I nor Ms ---- [ie the Associate Director - International] nor Ms ---- [ie the Associate Director - Conference] will no longer speak to you on the phone."
Realising the futility of the conversation, I then referred to the "right to belong" and then asked what that meant. The telephone conversation was terminated by him.
I phoned back, and spoke to the Switchboard operator and asked to speak to the Executive Director.
"He can't come to the phone right now," She said.
"I was just speaking with him - could you tell him that I would like to speak with him again."
There was a pause. I could hear whispering in the background. "Mr ------ says he hopes you have a good day."
"Could you tell Mr ----- that I would like to speak with him?"
"I'm sorry sir but I can't do that."
"Is there someone else I can speak to."
"I'm sorry sir but I have been given orders not to put you through to anyone."
"I would like to make a complaint. Who do I complain to?"
There was some further frantic whispering in the background, and I finally agreed to terminate the phone call and advised that I would be sending in a letter of complaint.
In the meantime, a new Al-Anon service manual had been issued and I obtained a copy from GSO. I noted from the manual that the Executive Committee oversaw the decisions of the Executive Director so I appealed his decision and reminded them that WSO was funded by the contributions of Al-Anon members and had a duty to serve Al-Anon members not to abdicate that role. And their response?