An Al-Anon Member's Concept V Appeal
PART 22 - My Concept V Appeal at the Area Assembly is Delayed (Again) 
I feel I have been helped a great deal by exercising my Concept V appeal on the internet.  I just had to "type out" what had happened to me.  What I have written is true and it is from the heart.  I have definitely felt a lot more serene since doing this and I think the reason for that is that WSO, GSO and everybody else in Al-Anon refused to believe what happened to me or that anything was wrong.  Yes, I know - its called DENIAL.  It does feature very strongly in Al-Anon and my expectations of Al-Anon have certainly diminished as time has gone on.
I don't think that Al-Anon is capable of providing me with the recovery I had hoped for.  I know that in order for you to recover you have to talk honestly, talk about how you feel, no - how you really feel not the way you think others expect you to feel.  And you have to be allowed to express yourself.  For Gawd's sake - you've suppressed so much, for so long, for so many years that in a setting like Al-Anon you should be allowed to express yourself.  How else will you find out about yourself, who you really are and thereby change yourself?
I am now starting to realise that I don't think I will get anywhere in Al-Anon. I think the attitudes are just too entrenched and the mindset is wrong.  I was in an Al-Anon chatroom recently. I shared what had happened to me and got the usual crap attitude from everyone. I wasn't annoyed, just resigned to the fact.  However, there was one person in the chatroom who objected very strongly to what the others were saying and that was when I realised that most people in Al-Anon have a certain mindset, and being with like kind just reinforces that mindset.  When the mindset is challenged the response of the groups is to ban people in order to allow the mindset to continue.  I also realise that a lot of people in Al-Anon are not interested in recovery.  Unlike the alcoholic who if he does not recover will drink again, the Al-Anon member has no outward symptoms (ie a drink problem) to indicate whether they are in recovery or not.  I suppose recovery for an Al-Anon member is a more complicated phenomenon than that for an alcoholic.  All the alcoholic has to do is find a way of life without the use of alcohol.  The Al-Anon member - what are they trying to do?
Anyway, I received a letter from the Area Delegate about the meeting of the Area Assembly.  Unfortunately, I cannot contact the local Al-Anon Information Centre to find out the times of meetings as the police have advised me that would be regarded as stalking.  So in order to find out any information I have to communicate with the Area Delegate c/o GSO (I am not trusted with her telephone number).
I had sent a letter to the Area Delegate asking when the next meeting of the Area Assembly was.  She replied and said that a date had not been set until after her return from the Annual Conference.  I patiently waited.  I then wrote to her again and asked it a date had been set.  Her reply stated that the Area Assembly had met the previous week and would not meet again for another six months.  Apparently she had sent me a letter advising of the date of the Area Assembly after her return from Conference but unfortunately I had not received it.
I wasn't even angry.  My automatic response was to say to myself "typical Al-Anon".  I even received my first copy of "The Forum" the other day and I thought it quite a badly designed magazine.  Again "typical Al-Anon".
So I wrote back to the Area Delegate expressing my disappointment at missing the Area Assembly (again) and that I would attend the next one.
Just a brief re-cap. I was expelled from the Al-Anon Sisterhood in August 1999.  I was not aware of Concept V until July 2000 during a chance conversation with the Regional Trustee when he mentioned it to me.  The Area Assembly meet twice a year. I attempted to attend the Area Assembly in October 2000. The GR of a group outside the District I was banned from gave me the wrong date of the Area Assembly which meant that I missed it.
The next Area Assembly was due to be held in April 2001.   It was postponed a couple of times plus there was the unfortunate incident at the group during which the District meeting was held which left me very upset. At the time, I felt I couldn't cope anymore with all the sick bullshit in Al-Anon and decided to take a break. I took three vacations during the summer, and suitably refreshed, decided once again to raise my Concept V appeal at the October 2001 Area Assembly.  I again missed it due to not being told when it was being held.  So I shall have to patiently wait until March 2002...  (Banned since August 1999, and trying since July 2000 to exercise my Concept V Appeal.)
Only for the internet and freedom of information, I would still be pissing about trying to get this Concept V appeal exercised in the Al-Anon structure. Thankfully, exercising the Appeal on the internet has allowed me to get rid of a lot of the things which had happened to me and also allow other Al-Anon members (and more importantly potential Al-Anon members) the opportunity to see Al-Anon for what it really is.
A previous visitor to this site had said my Appeal was incomplete.  Well, so far, my dispute with Al-Anon is still ongoing ie I am still expelled.  Until that is resolved, my Concept V Appeal will be forever incomplete...
THE END.
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