after
a
Loss
I lost Joshua November 29, 1998. I had my first menstraul period on January 2, 1999. And found out January 30, 1999 that I was pregnany again. I was happy and scared, actually terrified., Before, I lost Joshua I had always taken pregnancy for granted. This time was different. I was not able to enjoy being pregnant because I was so scared of something happening. I felt every cramp.. If I didn't feel "pregnant" for a day, I was convinced the baby had died. I kept a journal of my thoughts during that pregnancy, there is a condensed version available if you would like to read about the roller coaster of emotions a subsequent pregnancy brought for me. If your loss is very new or still very overwhelming painful emotionlly this may not be an link for you to follow.
Journal of Thoughts.
I am now in my second pregnancy after losing Joshua. I thought this pregnancy would definitaly be easier. No. I have worried just as much . Since my loss occured in the first half of pregnancy, my worst fears have occured during the first half of each of these pregnancies. Once I begin feeling movement of the baby my fears ease quite a bit, but I am very aware that until that baby is safely in my arms I still have the chance of having a pregnancy loss. I pray for a positive outcome. I do not have anything online yet related to my emotions with this pregnancy.
Update - We have completed another successful pregnancy. It was stressful and joyous all at once. Now, I am more aware then however how precious these children are and cherish everyday with them.
I think these pictures are amazing. Some people may be offended. These a real picutres of real embryos and fetus. Do not click on this link if you think you may be offended.
My Baby World
I'm here for you.