Remembering
and
Healing

The loss of a child, whether from miscarriage or stillbirth is often a silent suffering that is often not seen by the outside world.  The feelings can become overwhelming if not allowed to surface and run their course.  These are a few of the thing I have found to help me deal with the array of emotions I have felt over the last year.  I hope you find peace with your loss.

Talk about your loss - find someone who you trust and who understands the mixture of feelings you are experiencing.  Verbalizing your feeling and thoughts allows you to deal with them and you will find you are not alone.  Most communities offer support groups.

Name the baby - this acknowledges the "realness" of your baby.  If you do not know the sex of the baby perhaps a neutral name would be acceptable.

Keep mementos - ultrasound picutures, cards, blankets.  Anything that will be something that was associated with the baby.  My biggest regret is I did not take pictures, I was worried what people would think.  Now I would love to have a picture to look at.

Wear something special - A ring, necklace or pin.  Something that symbolizes your baby to you.  I bought a ring with the November birthstone and wear it daily on my pinky finger.

Plant a tree or garden - This will be something living that can symbolize your baby to you. 

Make something - If you enjoy making things make something that represents your baby.  Such as a cross-stitch, painting, etc.

Hold a memorial - Your baby is your child no matter how short his/her life was.

Recognize it is not your fault - Bad things happen and there is nothing you did to cause.

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